CHAPTER SIXTEEN


I was carrying Nala out of the media center—the cat had been so sound asleep that she hadn't even bothered to complain at me when I picked her up. I checked the clock as I left the room, and couldn't believe that several hours had passed. No wonder my butt was asleep and my neck was so stiff. But being temporarily uncomfortable didn't really matter because I'd actually figured out what I was going to do for the Full Moon Ritual. It was a huge weight lifted from my mind. I was still nervous, and didn't spend too much time considering the fact that when I performed the ritual I'd be doing so in front of a bunch of kids, the majority of whom were probably not thrilled that I had taken over leadership from their buddy Aphrodite. I just needed to stay focused on the ritual itself, and remember the amazing feelings that filled me whenever I invoked the five elements. The rest would work itself out. Hopefully.
I pushed open the heavy front door of the school and walked out into a different world. It was snowing steadily, and must have been for the entire time I was in the media center. The school grounds were completely blanketed by a comforter of downy white. The wind had whipped up and visibility was terrible. The gaslights that marked the obscured path were not much more than glowing pinpoints of yellow against the white darkness. I probably should have gone back in the building and made my way along the school's hall toward the dorm, staying inside for as long as I could, and then making a quick run from the far side of the school to the girls' dorm, but I really didn't want to. I thought about how right Stevie Rae had been. Snow really was magical. It changed the world, made it quieter, softer, more mysterious. As a fledgling, I already had quite a bit of an adult vampyre's natural protection against the cold, which used to creep me out. I mean, it made me think of cold, dead creatures who existed by drinking the blood of the living—totally gruesome, even if I was bizarrely drawn to the thought. Now I knew more about what I was be¬coming, so I understood that my protection against the cold was more about a heightened metabolism than about being undead. Vampyres aren't dead. They're just Changed. It was humans who liked to fuel the scary myth of the walking dead, which I was be¬ginning to find more than slightly annoying. Anyway, I really en¬joyed being able to walk around in a blizzard without feeling like I was going to freeze. Nala burrowed herself against me, purring loudly when I wrapped my arms around her protectively. The snow muffled my steps and it seemed for that moment that I was alone in a world where black and white had mixed together to form a unique color just for me.
I'd only walked a few steps when I sighed and would have popped myself in the forehead if my arms hadn't been filled with my cat. I needed to go by the school spells and rituals store and get some eucalyptus. From what I'd read in the old ritual book, eucalyptus was associated with healing, protection, and purification—three things I thought were important to evoke during my first ritual as leader of the Dark Daughters. I supposed I could get the eucalyptus tomorrow, but I was going to need it knotted into a rope as part of the spell I planned to cast, and .. . well … it was probably smart that I practiced so I didn't drop anything during the spell or, worse, suddenly discover that euca¬lyptus wasn't as flexible as I'd expected and it fell to pieces when I tried to knot it and then I'd turn bright red and want to crawl under the rec hall and curl up in a fetal position crying .. .
I shoved that lovely picture from my mind, turned around, and began to trudge back to the main building. That's when I saw the shape. It caught my eye because it didn't belong—and not just because it was unusual that another fledgling was silly enough to be out walking in the snowstorm. What struck me as weird was that the person, because it definitely wasn't a cat or a bush, wasn't walking on the sidewalk. He was heading in the gen¬eral direction of the rec hall, but was cutting across the far lawn. I stopped and squinted against the falling snow. The person was wearing a long, dark cloak with a hood pulled up like a cowl.
An urge to follow him hit me with such strength that I gasped. Almost as if I had no will of my own, I stepped off the sidewalk and hurried after the mysterious person, who had just reached the edge of the tree line that grew along the outside wall.
My eyes widened. The instant the figure entered the shadows, whoever it was, he or she, began moving with inhuman speed, cloak billowing behind them wildly in the snow-filled wind so that the figure appeared to have wings. Red? Did I see scarlet flashes against glimpses of white skin? Snow stung my eyes and my vision blurred, but I held Nala tighter to me and kicked into a fast jog, even though I could tell that I was being led to the area of the east wall that held the trapdoor. The same place I'd seen the other two ghosts or specters or whatever. The place that I'd told myself I really didn't want to go again, at least not alone.
Yes, I should have turned to my left and marched directly to the dorm. Naturally, I didn't.
My heart was thudding like crazy and Nala was grumbling in my ear when I entered the tree line and continued to rush along the wall, all the time thinking how absolutely insane it was for me to be out here chasing what was at best some kid who was trying to sneak away from the school, and at worst a seriously scary ghost.
I'd lost sight of the person, but I knew I was getting close to the trapdoor, so I slowed down, automatically staying within the deepest shadows and moving from tree to tree. It was snowing even harder now, and Nala and I were covered in white and I was actually starting to feel chilled. What am I doing out here? No matter what my gut was telling me, my mind was saying that I was acting crazy and that I needed to get myself (and my shiver¬ing cat) back to the dorm. This was really none of my business. Maybe one of the teachers was checking the ... I dunno … the grounds to make sure some moronic fledgling (like me) wasn't wandering around out in the storm.
Or maybe someone had just snuck on the school grounds after brutally killing Chris Ford and abducting Brad Higeons, and now they were sneaking off again, and if I confronted him/her I'd be murdered, too.
Yeah, right. Talk about an overactive imagination.
Then I heard the voices.
I slowed way down, practically tiptoeing forward until I finally saw them. There were two figures standing by the open trapdoor. I blinked hard, trying to see more clearly through the curtain of falling white. The person closest to the door was the one I'd been following, and now that he wasn't running (at a ridiculous speed) I could see that he stood weirdly, crouched down with a hunched-back posture. I shifted my attention to the other figure, and I felt the chill that had been brushing my skin with the snow sink into my soul. It was Neferet.
She looked mysterious, and powerful with her auburn hair fly¬ing around her and the snow covering the long black dress she was wearing. She was facing me, so I could see that her expression was stern, almost angry, and she was speaking intently to the cloaked person, using her hands expressively. Silently, I moved closer, glad I had on a dark outfit so that I blended well with the shadows near the wall. From this new position pieces of what Neferet was saying drifted to me on the snow-filled wind.
"... have more care with what you do! I will not ..." I listened intently, trying to hear through the wailing wind, and realized that the breeze was bringing me more than just Neferet's words. I could smell something, even over the crisp scent of falling snow. It was a dry, moldy smell, weirdly out of place in this cold, wet night. "... much too dangerous," Neferet was saying. "Obey or …" I lost the rest of the sentence, and then she paused. The cloaked figure responded with a weird, grunting sound that was more animal than human.
Nala, who had been curled up under my chin and seemed to have fallen asleep, again, suddenly whipped her head around. I ducked even farther behind the trunk of the tree in whose shadow I was hiding as Nala began to growl.
"Shhh," I whispered to her and tried to pet her into being calm. She quieted, but I could feel that the fur on her back had lifted and her eyes were narrowed to angry slits as she stared at the cloaked person.
"You promised!”
The guttural sound of the mystery man's voice had my skin crawling. I peeked out from behind the tree in time to see Neferet raise her hand as if she was going to strike him. He cowered back against the wall, causing the hood to fall from his face, and my stomach clenched so hard I thought I might throw up.
It was Elliott. The dead kid whose "ghost" had attacked Nala and me last month.
Neferet didn't hit him. Instead she gestured violently at the open trapdoor. She'd raised her voice, so everything she said car¬ried to me over the wind.
"You may not have any more! The time is not right. You can¬not understand such things, and you may not question me. Now leave here. If you disobey me again you will feel my wrath, and the wrath of a goddess is terrible to behold.”
Elliott cringed away from Neferet. "Yes, Goddess," he whim¬pered.
It was him; I knew it was. Even though his voice was rough I rec¬ognized it. Somehow Elliott had not died, and he had not Changed into an adult vampyre. He was something else. Something terrible.
Even as I thought how disgusting he was, Neferet's expression softened. "I do not wish to be angry with my children. You know that you are my greatest joys.”
Revolted, I watched as Neferet moved forward and caressed Elliott's face. His eyes began to glow the color of old blood, and even from a distance I could see that his entire body was trem¬bling. Elliott had been a short, pudgy, unattractive kid with too white skin and carrot red hair that was habitually frizzed out. He was still all those things, but now his pale cheeks were gaunt and his body was hunched, as if it had curled in on itself. So Neferet had to bend down to kiss his lips. Totally grossed out, I heard El¬liott moan in pleasure. She straightened and laughed. It was a dark, seductive sound.
"Please, Goddess!" Elliott whimpered.
"You know you don't deserve it.”
"Please, Goddess!" he repeated. His body was shivering vio¬lently.
"Very well, but remember. What a goddess gives, she can also take away.”
Unable to stop watching, I saw Neferet lift her arm and brush back her sleeve. Then she ran her fingernail up her forearm, leaving a slender scarlet line that immediately began to bead with blood. I felt the draw of her blood. When she held out her arm, offering it to Elliott, I pressed against the rough bark of the tree, forcing myself to stay still and hidden as he fell to his knees before her and, while he made feral grunts and moans, began to suck Nef¬eret's blood. I tore my eyes from him to look at Neferet. She'd thrown her head back and her lips were parted as if having the grotesque Elliott creature suck the blood from her arm was a sex¬ual experience.
Deep within me I felt an answering desire. I wanted to slice open someone's skin and .. .
No! I ducked completely behind the tree. I would not become a monster. I would not be a freak. I couldn't let this thing control me. Slowly and silently I started back the way I'd come, refusing to look at the two of them again.


CHAPTER SEVENTEEN


I was still feeling shaky, confused, and more than a little sick to my stomach when I finally got to the dorm. Clusters of damp kids pooled around the main room watching TV and drinking hot chocolate. I grabbed a towel from a stack by the door and joined Stevie Rae, the Twins, and Damien sitting around our favorite TV watching Project Runway, and started drying a grumbling Nala. Stevie Rae didn't realize I was being uncharacteristically quiet. She was too busy gushing about how the snowball fight I'd avoided earlier had morphed into a major battle after dinner that had raged until someone had thrown a snowball that had hit one of the win-dows of Dragon's office. Dragon was what everyone called the fencing professor, and he was not a vamp any fledgling would want to piss off.
"Dragon ended the snow war." Stevie Rae giggled. "But it was real fun until then.”
"Yeah, Z, you missed one hellacious wicked fight," Erin said. "We knocked the crap outta Damien and his boyfriend," Shaunee said.
"He's not my boyfriend!" Damien said, but his little smile seemed to add an unspoken "yet" to the end of the sentence.
"What ...”
"… ever," said the Twins.
"I think he's cute," Stevie Rae said.
"Me, too," Damien said, turning adorably pink.
"What do you think of him, Zoey?" Stevie Rae asked.
I blinked at Stevie Rae. It was like I was inside a fishbowl in the middle of a typhoon, and everyone else was on the outside clue¬lessly enjoying lovely weather.
"Is everything okay, Zoey?" Damien said.
"Damien, can you get me some eucalyptus?" I said abruptly
"Eucalyptus?”
I nodded. "Yeah, some strands of it, and some sage, too. I need both for the ritual tomorrow.”
"Yeah, no problem," Damien said, watching me entirely too closely.
"Did you get the ritual all figured out, Z?" Stevie Rae asked.
"I think so." I paused and took a long breath. Then I met Damien's questioning gaze steadily. "Damien, has there ever been a case of a fledgling who seemed to have died, but later was found alive?”
To his credit, Damien didn't freak or ask me if I had gone in¬sane. I could feel that the Twins and Stevie Rae were staring at me like I'd just announced I was going to be on Girls Gone Wild: Vamp Edition, but I ignored them and kept focused on Damien. We all knew he spent hours studying, and he remembered every¬thing he read. If any of us would know the answer to my bizarre question, it would be him.
"When a fledgling's body starts rejecting the Change there is no stopping it. That's clear in all the books. It's also what Neferet has told us. Zoey," I'd never heard him sound so serious. "What is wrong?”
"Please, please, please tell me you're not feeling sick!" Stevie Rae practically sobbed.
"No! It's nothing like that," I said quickly. "I'm fine. I promise.”
"What's going on?" Shaunee said.
"You're scaring us," Erin said.
"I don't mean to," I told them. "Okay, this is coming out all wrong, but I think I saw that Elliott kid.”
"Huh!"
"What!" the Twins said together.
"I don't understand," Damien said. "Elliott died last month.”
Stevie Rae's eyes suddenly widened. "Like Elizabeth!" she said. Before I could say anything, she blurted, in one long, breathless sentence, "Last month Zoey thought she saw Elizabeth's ghost out by the east wall but we didn't say anything 'cause we didn't want to scare y'all.”
I opened my mouth to explain about Elliott—and Neferet. And shut it again. I should have realized before I'd said one word to any of them that I absolutely could not tell them about Neferet. Vampyres were all intuitive to some degree. High Priestess Nef¬eret was amazingly intuitive. So much so that she often seemed to be able to read actual thoughts. No way could my four friends walk around school knowing that I'd seen her letting some kind of disgusting undead Elliott creature suck her blood without Nef¬eret knowing everything in their freaked-out minds.
What I'd witnessed tonight I would have to keep completely to myself.
"Zoey?" Stevie Rae put her hand on my arm. "You can tell us." I smiled at her and wished with all my heart that I could.
"I did think I saw Elizabeth's ghost last month. And tonight I think I saw Elliott's," I finally said.
Damien frowned. "If you saw ghosts why did you ask me about fledglings recovering from rejecting the Change?”
I looked my friend in the eye and lied my ass off. "Because it seemed easier to believe than I was seeing ghosts—or at least it did until I said it. Then it sounded crazy.”
"Seeing a ghost would have freaked me right out,” Shaunee said.
Erin nodded enthusiastic agreement.
"Was it like with Elizabeth?" Stevie Rae asked.
At least this I didn't have to lie about. "No. He seemed more real, but I saw them both in the same place, over by the east wall, and both of their eyes glowed a weird red color.”
Shaunee shivered.
"I'm sure as shit staying away from the spooky east wall," Erin said.
Damien, always the scholar, tapped his chin like a professor. "Zoey, maybe you have yet another affinity. Maybe you can see dead fledglings.”
I would have thought this was a possibility, even though it was a gross one, if I hadn't seen the supposed ghost, solid and totally real, drinking my mentor's blood. Still, it was a good theory, and an excellent way to keep Damien busy. "You might be right," I said.
"Ugh," Stevie Rae said. "I hope not.”
"Me, too. But could you do some research on it for me, Damien?”
"Of course. I'll also check out any references to hauntings by fledglings.”
"Thanks, I appreciate that.”
"You know, I do think I remember reading something in an old Greek history text about vampyre spirits that restlessly prowl the ancient tombs of ...”
I shut out Damien's lecture, glad that Stevie Rae and the Twins were more involved with listening to his ghost stories than asking me more specific questions. I hated lying to them, especially since I really would have liked to have told them everything. What I saw had truly frightened me. How the hell was I going to face Neferet again?
Nala rubbed her face against mine and then settled down in my lap. I stared at the TV and petted her while Damien droned on and on about old vamp ghosts. And then I realized what I was seeing and lunged across Stevie Rae for the remote that was sit¬ting on the lamp table beside her, causing Nala to mee-uf-ow snort! in annoyance and jump from my lap. I didn't even take time to soothe her, but quickly turned up the volume.
It was Chera Kimiko again on a repeat of the evening news' lead story.
"The body of the second Union High School teenager, Brad Hi¬geons, was found by museum security guards this evening in the stream that runs along the Philbrook Museum grounds. The cause of death is not being officially reported at this time, but sources have told Fox News that the boy died of blood loss through multiple lac¬erations.”
"No ..." I felt my head shaking back and forth. There was a terrible ringing in my ears.
"That's the stream we crossed over when we went to the yard of the Philbrook for the Samhain Ritual last month," Stevie Rae said.
"It's just down the street from here," Shaunee said.
"The Dark Daughters used to sneak out there all the time for rituals," Erin said.
Then Damien said what we were all thinking. "Someone is try¬ing to make it look like vampyres are killing human kids.”
"Maybe they are.” I hadn't actually meant to speak my thought aloud, and pressed my lips closed, immediately sorry I'd let that slip.
"Why would you say that, Zoey?" Stevie Rae sounded utterly shocked.
"I—I don't know. I didn't really mean it,” I stuttered, not sure what I really meant or why I'd said it.
"You're freaked, that's all," Erin said.
"Of course you are. You knew both those kids," Shaunee added. "And on top of all of this, you saw a damn ghost today.”
Damien was studying me again. "Did you have a feeling about Brad before you heard he was dead, Zoey?" he asked quietly.
"Yes. No." I sighed. "I thought he was dead as soon as I heard he'd been taken," I admitted.
"Did any specifics come with the feeling? Do you know any¬thing more?" Damien said.
As if Damien's questions had prodded them from my mem¬ory, the snatches of words that I'd heard Neferet speak replayed in my mind:... much too dangerous … You may not have any more … You cannot understand … You may not question me .. . I felt a terrible chill that had nothing to do with the snowstorm outside. "Nothing specific came with the feeling. I have to go to my room," I said, suddenly unable to look at any of them. I hated lying, and doubted I could keep it up if I stayed with them much longer. "I have to finish up the words for the ritual tomorrow," I said lamely. "And I didn't get much sleep last night. I'm really tired.”
"Okay, no problem. We understand," Damien said.
They were all so obviously worried about me that I could barely meet their eyes. "Thanks, guys," I mumbled as I left the room. I was halfway up the stairs when Stevie Rae caught up with me.
"Do you mind if I come back to the room now, too? I have a really bad headache. I really just want to go to sleep. I won't bug you while you study or anything.”
"No, I don't mind," I said quickly. I glanced at her. She did look kinda pale. Stevie Rae was so sensitive that even though she didn't know Chris or Brad, their deaths were clearly upsetting her. Add to that my announcement about ghosts, and the poor kid probably was scared to death. I put my arm around her and gave her a squeeze as we came to our door. "Hey, everything's gonna be okay.”
"Yeah, I know. I'm just tired." She grinned up at me, but she didn't sound as perky as usual.
We didn't say much while we put on our pajamas. Nala scooted in through the cat door, jumped up on my bed, and was asleep almost as fast as Stevie Rae, which was a relief to me be-cause I didn't have to pretend to be writing words to a ritual I'd already finished. There was something else I had to do, and I didn't want to explain any part of it to anyone, not even my best friend.


CHAPTER EIGHTEEN


My Vampyre Sociology 415 text was exactly where I left it in the bookshelf over my computer desk. It was a senior or, as they're called here, sixth former level book. Neferet had given it to me shortly after I'd arrived when it was obvious that the Change go¬ing on within my body was happening at a different rate than what went on with normal fledglings. She'd wanted to pull me out of my third former Soc class and move me into the upper level section of Soc, but I'd managed to talk her out of it, saying that I was already different enough, I didn't need anything else to make me more of a freak to the rest of the kids here. Our com¬promise was that I would go through the 415 level text, chapter by chapter, and ask her questions along the way.
Okay, well, I'd meant to do that, but what with one thing and another (taking over the Dark Daughters, dating Erik, regular schoolwork, and whatnot), I'd done little more than glance at the book on my shelf.
With a sigh that sounded almost as tired as I felt, I took the book to bed and propped myself up on a mound of pillows. Despite the horrible events of the day, I had to struggle to keep my eyes open as I turned to the index and found what I was looking for: bloodlust. There were a whole string of page numbers after the word, so I marked the place in the index, wearily flipped to the first page listed, and started reading. At first it was stuff I'd already figured out for myself: as a fledgling gets farther into the Change, she de¬velops a taste for blood. Blood drinking goes from being some¬thing abhorrent to something delicious. By the time a fledgling is well advanced in the Change process, she can detect the scent of blood from a distance. Because of changes in metabolism, drugs and alcohol have increasingly less effect on fledglings, and as this effect dissipates, they will find that the effects of drinking blood correspondingly increase.
"No kidding," I said under my breath. Even drinking fledgling blood mixed in wine had given me an incredible buzz. Drinking Heath's blood had been like fire exploding deliciously inside me. I flipped ahead in the reading. I already knew all the stuff about blood being yummy. Then my eye caught a new heading, and I stopped at that page.


SEXUALITY AND BLOODLUST
Though the frequency of need differs depending upon age, sex, and general strength of the vampyre, adults must periodically feed on human blood to remain healthy and sane. It is, therefore, logical that evolution, and our beloved Goddess, Nyx, have insured the blood drinking process is a pleasurable one, both for the vampyre and the human donor. As we have already learned, vampyre saliva acts as an anticoagulant for human blood. Vampyre saliva also se¬cretes endorphins during blood drinking, which stimulate the plea¬sure zones of the brain, human and vampyre, and can actually simulate orgasm.


I blinked and rubbed a hand across my face. Well, hell! No wonder I'd had such a slutty reaction to Heath. Being turned on while I drank blood was programmed into my Changing genes. Fascinated, I kept reading.


The older the vampyre, the more endorphins are released during blood drinking, and the more intense the experience of pleasure for vampyre and human.
Vampyres have speculated for centuries that the ecstasy of blood drinking is the key reason humans have vilified our race. Humans feel threatened by our ability to bring them such intense pleasure during an act they consider dangerous and abhorrent, so they have labeled us as predators. The truth, of course, is that vampyres can control their bloodlust, so there is little physical danger to human donors. The danger lies in the Imprint that often occurs during the ritual of blood drinking.


Completely engrossed, I hurried on to the next section.


IMPRINTING
An Imprint between vampyre and human does not occur every time a vampyre feeds. Many studies have been performed to try to deter¬mine exactly why some humans Imprint and some do not, but though there are several determining factors, such as emotional at¬tachment, relationship between the human and the vampyre pre-Change, age, sexual orientation, and frequency of blood drinking, there is no way to predict with certainty whether a human will Im¬print with a vampyre.


The text went on to talk about how vampyres should take care when drinking from a live donor, versus getting blood from blood banks, which are highly secretive businesses very few hu-mans are aware exist at all (apparently those few humans are extremely well paid for their silence). The Soc book definitely frowned on drinking blood from humans and there were lots of warnings about how dangerous it is to Imprint a human, how not only is the human now emotionally bound to the vampyre, but the vamp is tied to the human, too. This made me sit up straighter. With a sick feeling in my stomach I read about how once the Imprint is in place a vamp can feel the human's emo¬tions, and in some cases can actually call and/or track the human. There the text went off on a tangent about how Bram Stoker had actually been Imprinted by a vamp High Priestess, but that he had not understood her commitment to Nyx had to come before their tie, and in a fit of jealous anger had betrayed her by exagger¬ating the negative aspects of an Imprint in his infamous book, Dracula.
"Huh. I had no idea," I said. Ironically, Dracula had been one of my favorite books since I read it when I was thirteen. I skimmed through the rest of the section until I came to a part that had me chewing my lip as I slowly read it.


FLEDGLING—VAMPYRE IMPRINTING
As discussed in the previous chapter, due to the possibility of Im¬print, fledglings are prohibited from drinking the blood of human donors, but they may experiment with each other. It has been proven that fledglings cannot Imprint one another. However, it is possible for an adult vampyre to Imprint a fledgling. This leads to emotional and physical complications once the fledgling completes the Change that are often not beneficial for either vampyre; therefore, blood drinking between fledgling and adult vampyre is strictly prohibited.


I shook my head, appalled all over again by the blood drinking I'd witnessed between Neferet and Elliott. Setting aside the whole issue of Elliott being dead, which still confused the hell outta me, Neferet was a powerful High Priestess. No damn way should she be letting a fledgling drink from her (even a dead one).
There was a chapter about breaking Imprints, which I started reading, but it was just too depressing. Apparently it involved the aid of a powerful High Priestess, a lot of physical pain, especially on the part of the human, and even then the human and the vampyre had to be careful to stay away from each other or the Imprint could reestablish.
I suddenly felt overwhelmingly weary. How long had it been since I'd really slept? More than a day. I glanced at my alarm clock. It was 6:10 A.M. It would be getting light soon. Feeling stiff and old I got up and put the book back on the shelf. Then I pulled open one side of the heavy curtains that completely covered the one large window in our room and blocked out all light from the outside. It was still snowing, and in the hesitant light of predawn the world looked innocent and dreamy. It was hard to imagine that such horrible things as teenagers being killed and dead fledglings being reanimated could have happened out there. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the cool windowpane. I didn't want to think of either of those things right now. I was too tired … too confused … too unable to come up with the answers that I needed.
My sleepy mind wandered. I wanted to lie down, but the cool window felt good against my forehead. Erik would be getting back later that day. The thought gave me equal pangs of pleasure and of guilt, which, of course, made me think of Heath.
I'd probably Imprinted him. The thought scared me, but it also drew me. Would it be so awful to be emotionally and physi¬cally tied to a sober Heath? Before I'd met Erik (or Loren) my an¬swer would most definitely have been no, it wouldn't be awful. Now it wasn't the awfulness that I was worried about. It was the fact that I'd have to hide the relationship from everyone. Of course I could lie … the thought drifted like poison smoke through my overstressed mind. Neferet and even Erik knew that I'd been put in a situation a month ago where I drank Heath's blood—before I knew anything about bloodlust and Imprinting. I could pretend like I'd Imprinted him then. I'd already mentioned the possibility to Neferet. Maybe I could figure out a way to keep seeing both Heath and Erik .. .
I knew my thoughts were wrong. I knew that seeing both of them was dishonest to both Erik and Heath, but I was so torn! I was really starting to care about Erik, plus he lived in my world and understood issues like the Change and embracing a totally new way of life. Thinking about breaking up with him made my heart hurt.
But thinking about never seeing Heath again, never tasting his blood again … that made me feel like I was having a panic at¬tack. I sighed again. If this was bad for me, it was probably a zil¬lion times worse for Heath. After all, it'd been a month since I'd seen him, and all that time he'd been carrying around a razor blade in his pocket just on the outside chance he might run into me. He'd stopped drinking and smoking because of what had happened between us. And he'd been eager to cut himself and let me drink his blood. Remembering, I shivered, and not because of the coolness of the window I was still pressing my forehead against. Desire made me shiver. The Soc textbook had described the reasons behind bloodlust in logical, dispassionate words that didn't begin to represent the truth of it.
Drinking Heath's blood was an incredible turn on. Something I wanted to do again and again. Soon. Now, actually. I bit my lip to keep from moaning as I thought about Heath—the hardness of his body and the incredible taste of his blood.
And suddenly it was as if a part of my mind lifted, like a string thrown out of a big ball of yarn. I could feel that piece of me searching … hunting ... tracking ... until it burst into a dark room and hovered above a bed. I sucked in my breath. Heath!
He was lying flat on his back. His blond hair was tousled, mak¬ing him look like a little boy. Okay, anyone would think the kid was totally cute. I mean, vamps were known for being stunningly beau¬tiful and gorgeously handsome, and even a vamp would have to admit that Heath scored high on their own scale of good-looking.
As if he could sense my presence, he stirred in his sleep, turn¬ing his head and restlessly kicking off the sheet that covered him. He was naked except for a pair of blue boxers that had fat little green frogs all over them. The sight of them made me smile. But the smile froze on my face when I noticed that I could now see the thin pink line that ran down the side of his neck.
That was where he'd cut himself with the razor blade and where I'd sucked his blood. I could almost taste it again—the heat and the dark richness of it, like melted chocolate, only a zil-lion times better.
Unable to stop myself, I moaned, and at the same instant Heath moaned in his sleep.
"Zoey …" he muttered dreamily, and shifted restlessly again.
"Oh, Heath," I whispered. "I don't know what to do about us.” I knew what I wanted to do all too well. I wanted to ignore my exhaustion, get in my car, drive directly to Heath's house, sneak in the window of his bedroom (it's not like I hadn't done that be¬fore), open the freshly closed cut in his neck, and let his sweet blood flood my mouth while I pressed my body against his and made love for the first time in my life.
"Zoey!" This time Heath's eyes were fluttering open. He moaned again and his hand moved down to the hard lump in his pants and he began to—
My eyes sprang open and I was back in my dorm room with my forehead pressed against the window, breathing entirely too heavily.
My cell phone bleeped with the tone that said I had a text mes¬sage. My hands were shaking as I flipped it open and read: I felt u here. Promise you'll meet me Friday.
I took a deep breath and answered Heath with two words that made my stomach flutter with excitement. I promise.
I closed the phone and turned it off. Then, forcing away the image of Heath with the unhealed cut on his neck, warm and de¬sirable, obviously wanting me as much as I wanted him, I moved from the window and climbed into bed. Incredibly, my clock told me it was now 8:27 A.M. I'd been standing by the window for more than two hours! No wonder my body felt so stiff and crappy. I made a mental note to look up more info about Im¬printing and the connection between the human and the vamp next time I was in the media center (which had better be soon). Before I turned off the little table lamp I glanced over at Stevie Rae. She was curled up on her side and her back was to me, but her deep breathing told me that she was definitely still asleep. Well, at least my friends didn't know what a bloodlust-filled, hornie freak I was turning into.
I wanted Heath.
I needed Erik.
I was intrigued by Loren.
I had no damn idea what I was going to do about the mess that my life had become.
I smushed my pillow into a ball. I was so tired I felt like some¬one had drugged me, but my mind still wouldn't shut itself off. When I woke up I'd see Erik again and probably Loren. I'd have to face Neferet. I'd perform my first ritual in front of a group of kids who would probably be happy to see me fail, or at least em¬barrass myself miserably, and there was always the possibility that both would happen. Then there was the weirdness of know¬ing that I'd seen what could only be Elliott's ghost behaving in a very unghostlike way. Not to mention another human teenager was dead and it was looking more and more as if a vamp had something to do with it.
I closed my eyes and told my body to relax and my mind to concentrate on something pleasant, like ... like … how pretty the snow was .. .
Slowly, exhaustion took over and I finally, gratefully, fell into a deep sleep.



CHAPTER NINETEEN


Someone banging on the door pulled me awake from a dream about cat-shaped snowflakes.
"Zoey! Stevie Rae! You're gonna be late!" Shaunee's voice sounded muffled but urgent through the door, like an annoying alarm covered up by a towel.
"Okay, okay, I'm coming,” I called as I tried to struggle out of my covers while Nala complained loudly. I glanced at my alarm clock, which I hadn't bothered to set. I mean, it wasn't like it was a school day and I usually didn't sleep more than eight or nine hours at a time and—
"Hell!" I blinked. Sure enough, the time was 9:59 P.M. I'd slept more than twelve hours? I stumbled to the door, pausing to shake Stevie Rae's leg.
"Mumph," she muttered sleepily.
I cracked the door. Shaunee was glaring at me.
"Please with the sleeping all damn day! You two have got to stop staying up late if you can't get up. Erik's going to be per¬forming in half an hour.”
"Ah, hell!" I rubbed my face, trying to force myself awake. "I forgot all about that.”
Shaunee rolled her eyes. "You better hurry up and get dressed. And slap some serious makeup on that pale face and do something about your nappy hair. Boyfriend's been looking all over for you.”
"Okay, okay. Crap! I'm coming. Will you and Erin—”
Shaunee put up her hand, cutting me off. "Please. We've al¬ready got you covered. Erin's in the auditorium saving front row seats as we speak.”
"Is that you, Mamma? I don't wanna go to school today ..." Stevie Rae mumbled, clearly not awake.
Shaunee snorted.
"We'll hurry. You guys just save those seats for us." I slammed the door shut and hurried over to Stevie Rae. "Wake up!" I shook her shoulder. She squinted and frowned up at me.
"Huh?”
"Stevie Rae, it's ten o'clock. P.M. We slept forever and now we're so late it's ridiculous.”
"Huh?”
"Just wake the hell up!" I snapped, taking out my frustration that I'd overslept on her.
"Wha—" She looked blearily at the clock, and that seemed to finally get through to her. "Ohmygoodness! We're late.”
I rolled my eyes. "That's what I've been trying to tell you. I'm gonna throw on something and work on my hair and makeup. You better jump in the shower. You look terrible.”
"'Kay." She staggered into the bathroom.
I yanked on a pair of jeans and a black sweater, and then got to work on my hair and makeup. I could not believe I'd totally blown off the fact that Erik was performing the Shakespearian monologue he'd taken to the competition. Actually, I hadn't even worried about how he'd placed, which was definitely not good girlfriend etiquette. Of course it wasn't like I didn't have other things on my mind, but still. Everyone thought I was the lucky girl who had caught Erik after he'd escaped from Aphrodite's nasty spiderweb (and by web I mean crotch). Hell, I thought I was lucky to have him, something that had been hard to remem¬ber when I was sucking Heath's blood and flirting with Loren.
"Sorry about oversleeping, Z." Stevie Rae came out of the bath¬room in a gush of steamy air, towel-drying her short, blond curls. She was dressed a lot like I was, and she must still be half asleep because she looked pale and tired. She gave a huge yawn and stretched like a cat.
"No, it's my fault." I felt bad for the way I'd jumped on her be¬fore. "I should have known with how little I've been sleeping that I needed to set my alarm." I guess it shouldn't have been a sur¬prise that Stevie Rae hadn't gotten much sleep lately, either. We are best friends and she definitely knows when I'm overstressed. We probably both needed a good, long, comalike sleep.
"I'll be ready in just a sec. I'm just gonna put on some mascara and gloss. My hair will dry in like two minutes anyway," Stevie Rae said.
We were out of there in five minutes. No time for breakfast, we bolted out of the dorm and practically ran to the auditorium. We made it to seats Erin had saved for us just as the lights flicked on and off, announcing that there were two minutes before the pro¬gram began, and for people to take their seats.
"Erik stayed out here waiting for you until just a second ago," Damien said. I was glad to see he was sitting beside Jack. The two really did make a cute couple.
"Is he mad?" I asked.
"I'd say confused is a better description,” Shaunee said.
"Or worried. He looked worried, too," Erin added.
I sighed. "Did you not tell him that I'd overslept?”
"Hence the reason my Twin said he looked worried," Shaunee said.
"I filled him in on the deaths of the two friends of yours. Erik understands it's been hard on you, and that's why he looked wor¬ried," Damien said, frowning at Shaunee and Erin.
"I'm just sayin; Z, Erik is too hot to be stood up," Erin said. "Ditto, Twin," Shaunee said.
"I did not—" I sputtered, but the lights going out cut me off.
The drama teacher, Professor Nolan, came out onstage and spent a while explaining the importance of actors being trained in the classics, and talking about how prestigious the Shakespeare monologue contest is for vamps around the world. She reminded us that each of the twenty-five House of Night campuses world¬wide send their five strongest competitors, which meant there were a total of 125 talented fledglings who competed against one another.
"Jeesh, I had no idea Erik had to go up against so many kids," I whispered to Stevie Rae.
"Erik probably kicked butt. He's awesome," Stevie Rae whis¬pered back. Then she yawned again and coughed.
I frowned at her. She looked like crap. How could she still be tired?
"Sorry." She smiled sheepishly. "I gotta frog in my throat."
"Shhh!" the Twins hissed together.
I turned my attention back to Prof. Nolan.
"The results of the competition have been sealed until today, when all of the students have returned to their home schools. I will announce the placings of each of our five finalists as I intro¬duce them. Each will perform their competition monologue. I cannot begin to tell you how proud we are of our team. Every one of them did an exceptional job." Prof. Nolan beamed. Then she went on to introduce the first performer, who was a kid named Kaci Crump. She was a fourth former who I didn't know very well because around the dorm she was kinda shy and quiet, even though she seemed nice. I didn't think she was a member of the Dark Daughters, and I made a mental note to send her an invitation to join. Prof. Nolan announced that Kaci had placed fifty-second in the competition with her rendition of Beatrice's monologue from Much Ado About Nothing.
I thought she was good, but was blown away by the next kid, Cassie Kramme, a fifth former who'd placed twenty-fifth overall. She performed Portia's famous speech from The Merchant of Venice that begins, "The quality of mercy is not strained ..." I rec¬ognized it because I'd chosen it as the monologue I memorized my freshman year at SIHS. Uh, Cassie's acting definitely would have kicked my ass. I didn't think she was a member of the Dark Daughters, either. Huh. Seems Aphrodite hadn't wanted much competition in the way of other drama queens. Big surprise.
The next performer was a kid I knew because he was a friend of Erik's. Cole Clifton was tall, blond, and totally cute. He'd fin¬ished twenty-second with his rendition of Romeo's "But soft, what light through yonder window breaks …" speech. Okay, he was good. Really, really good. I heard Shaunee and Erin (espe¬cially Shaunee) making lots of appreciative noises, and the clap¬ping was furious from them when he finished. Hum ... I'd have to talk to Erik about fixing Shaunee up with Cole. In my opinion more white boys should date women of color. It was good for ex¬panding their horizons (especially true in Oklahoma white boys).
Speaking of women of color—the next performer was Deino. She was a drop-dead mixed girl with to-die-for hair and skin the color of vanilla latte. She was also one of Aphrodite's inner circle, or she used to be. I'd been introduced to her at Aphrodite's Full Moon Ritual. Deino was one of Aphrodite's three best friends. They'd renamed themselves after the mythological sisters of the Gorgon and Scylla: Deino, Enyo, Pemphredo. Translated, the names mean Terrible, Warlike, and Wasp.
The names definitely fit. They were three hateful, selfish bitches who had run out on Aphrodite during the Samhain Rit¬ual and, as far as I could tell, hadn't spoken to her since. Okay, Aphrodite had messed up, and she was definitely haggish, but I could mess up and be a total hag and I don't think Stevie Rae, the Twins, or Damien would turn their backs on me. Get pissed at me—yep, definitely. Tell me I'd lost my mind—of course. But run out on me—no way.
Professor Nolan introduced Deino, saying that she'd finished an amazing eleventh overall, and then Deino began Cleopatra's death scene monologue. I had to admit that she was good. Really good. Watching her I was so dazzled by her talent that I started to wonder how much of her hateful haggishness had been because of Aphrodite's influence. Since I'd taken over the Dark Daughters none of Aphrodite's close friends had caused any kind of prob¬lems. Actually, now that I thought about it, I realized that Ter¬rible, Warlike, and Wasp had been keeping a pretty low profile. Huh. Well, I'd said that I wanted to include one of Aphrodite's old inner circle in my new Prefect Council. Maybe Deino would be the right choice. I could ask Erik about her. With Aphrodite out of power I could give Deino a chance (as well as sincerely wish her name wasn't so disturbing).
I was still considering how to go about telling my friends (who were also my fellow Prefects) that I was thinking about asking Terrible to join our Council when Professor Nolan returned to the stage and waited for the audience to quiet down. When she started speaking her eyes were shining with excitement and she seemed ready to burst. I felt a little thrill run through me. Erik had finished in the top ten!
"Erik Night is our final performer. He has been an incredible talent since the day he was Marked three years ago. I am proud to be his teacher and his mentor," she said, beaming. "Please give him the hero's welcome he deserves for placing first in the International Shakespearian Monologue Competition!”
The auditorium exploded as Erik strode, smiling, onto the stage. I could hardly breathe. How could I have forgotten how ut¬terly gorgeous he is? Tall—taller than Cole even—he had black hair that did that adorable Superman curl thing, and eyes so bril¬liant blue they were like staring into the summer sky. Like the other performers, he was dressed all in black, with the fifth for¬mer insignia of Nyx's golden chariot pulling a trail of stars over his left breast as the only break in the dark color scheme. And, let me tell you, he made black look good.
He walked to center stage, stopped, smiled directly (and obvi¬ously) into my eyes, and winked at me. He was so damn hot I thought I would die. Then he bowed his head and when he raised it he wasn't eighteen-year-old Erik Night, vampyre fledgling, fifth former at the House of Night, anymore. Somehow, right in front of our eyes, he had become a Moorish warrior who was try¬ing to explain to a room full of doubters how a Venetian princess had fallen in love with him, and he with her.


"Her father lov'd me; oft invited me;
Still question’d me the story of my life
From year to year, the battles, sieges, fortunes
That I have pass'd.”


I couldn't take my eyes from him, and neither could anyone else in the room as he transformed into Othello. I also couldn't help but compare him to Heath. In his own way, Heath was as successful and talented as Erik. He was Broken Arrow's star quar¬terback, with a bright collegiate and maybe even pro football ca¬reer in front of him. Heath was a leader. Erik was a leader. I'd grown up watching Heath play ball, had been proud of him, and had cheered for him. But I had never been awed by his talent like I was awed by Erik. And the only time Heath had ever made me feel like I couldn't breathe was when he sliced into his skin and offered his blood to me.
Erik paused in his monologue, and moved forward until he was standing at the edge of the stage, so close that if I stood I could reach up and touch him. Then he looked into my eyes and completed Othello's speech to me, as though I was the absent Desdemona he spoke of:


"She wish'd she had not heard it, yet she wish'd
That heaven had made her such a man; she thank’d me,
And bade me, if I had a friend that lov'd her,
I should but teach him how to tell my story,
And that would woo her.
Upon this hint I spake:
She lov'd me for the dangers I had pass'd,
And I lov'd her that she did pity them."


Erik touched his fingers to his lips, then held his hand out to me as if to offer me his formal kiss, and then pressed those fingers over his heart and bowed his head. The audience erupted into cheers and a standing ovation. Stevie Rae stood cheering next to me, wiping her eyes and laughing.
"That was so romantic I almost peed my pants," she yelled.
"Me, too!" I laughed.
And then Professor Nolan was back onstage, closing the per¬formance and directing everyone to the wine and cheese recep¬tion set up in the lobby.
"Come on, Z," Erin said, grabbing one of my hands.
"Yeah, we're staying with you 'cause that friend of Erik's that played Romeo is insanely hot," Shaunee said as she grabbed my other hand. The Twins started hauling me through the crowd, shouldering us past the slow-moving kids like mini-tugboats. I looked helplessly back at Damien and Stevie Rae. Clearly they were going to have to catch up on their own. The Twins were a force beyond even my control.
We popped from the bottled-up crowd trying to exit the audi¬torium like three corks coming to the surface. And suddenly there Erik was, just entering the lobby from the side actors' en¬trance. Our eyes met and he instantly stopped talking to Cole and headed straight to me.
"Mmm, mmm, mmm. He is so totally fiiiiine," Shaunee mur¬mured.
"As usual, we're in complete agreement, Twin," Erin sighed dreamily.
I couldn't do anything but stand there and smile like a moron as Erik reached us. With a very naughty sparkle in his eyes he took my hand, kissed it, and then made a sweeping bow and pro¬claimed in his actor's voice that carried all around the room, "Hello, my sweet Desdemona.”
I felt my cheeks getting really hot, and I actually giggled. He was just pulling me into a warm, but very proper-for-public-consumption hug when I heard a familiar hateful laugh. Aphrodite, looking amazing in a short black skirt, stiletto boots, and a slinky sweater, was laughing as she walked (actually, she twitched more than she walked—I mean, the girl could seriously shake her butt) past us. Over Erik's shoulder I met her eyes and, in a silky voice that would have sounded friendly had it not been coming from her mouth, said, "If he's calling you Desdemona, then I suggest you be careful. If it even looked like you're cheating on him he'll strangle you in your bed. But you'd never cheat on him, would you?" Then she flipped her long, blond, perfect hair and twitched away.
No one said anything for a second, then the Twins, at the same time, said, "Issues. She has issues," and everyone laughed.
Everyone but me. All I could think about was the fact that she'd seen Loren and me in the media center, and that it definitely could have looked like I was cheating on Erik. Was she warning me that she was going to tell Erik? Okay, I wasn't worried about him strangling me in my bed, but would he believe her? Also, Aphrodite's all-too-perfect appearance reminded me that I was wearing wrinkled jeans and a hastily thrown-on sweater. My hair and makeup had definitely looked better. Actually, I think I still might have pillow marks on my cheek.
"Don't let her get to you," Erik said gently.
I looked up at him. He was holding my hand and smiling down at me. I mentally shook myself. "Don't worry, she's not," I said brightly. "Anyway, who cares about her? You won the competition! That's amazing, Erik. I'm so proud of you!" I hugged him again, loving his clean smell and how his height made me feel small and delicate. Then our little pocket of pri¬vacy was gone as more and more people poured out of the au¬ditorium.
"Erik, it's so cool you won!" Erin said. "But it's not like we're surprised. You definitely kick ass onstage.”
"Totally. And so does boyfriend over there." Shaunee jerked her chin in Cole's direction. "He is one fine Romeo.”
Erik grinned. "I'll tell him you said so.”
"You can also tell him that if he wants a little brown sugar in his Juliet he need look no farther than right here.” She pointed at herself and shimmied her hips.
"Twin, if Juliet had been black I do not believe things would have come to such a shitty end between her and Romeo. I mean, we would have shown more sense than drinking that sleeping potion crap and going through all that drama just because of some unfortunate parental issues.”
"Exactly," Shaunee said.
None of us stated the obvious—that Erin, with her blond hair and blue eyes, was definitely NOT BLACK. We were too used to her and Shaunee being twinlike to question the weirdness of it.
"Erik, you were amazing!" Damien rushed up with Jack fol¬lowing close behind.
"Congratulations,” Jack said shyly, but with definite enthusiasm.
Erik smiled at them. "Thanks, guys. Hey, Jack. I was too ner¬vous before the performance to say that I'm glad you're here. It'll be nice to have a roommate.”
Jack's cute face lit up, and I squeezed Erik's hand. This was one reason why I liked him so much. Besides being gorgeous and tal¬ented, Erik was an authentically nice guy. There were a lot of guys in his position (ridiculously popular) who would have either ig¬nored this little third former roommate or, worse, been visibly pissed that they'd have to share a room with a "fag." Erik wasn't like that at all, and I couldn't help but compare him to Heath, who would probably have been freaked that he had to room with a gay kid. Not that Heath was hateful or anything like that, but he was a typical teenage Okie boy, which tended to mean narrow-minded homophobe. Which made me realize that I'd never asked Erik where he was from. Jeesh, I was a crappy girlfriend.
"Did you hear me, Zoey?”
"Huh?" Damien's question shut off my inner babbling, but no, I hadn't heard him.
"Hello! Earth to Zoey! I asked if you realized what time it was. And are you remembering the Full Moon Ritual starts at mid¬night?”
I looked at the wall clock. "Ah, hell!" It was 11:05. I still needed to change my clothes and then get to the rec hall, light the circle candles, make sure the five candles for the elements were in place, and check on the Goddess's table. "Erik, I'm so sorry, but I have to leave. There are a million things to do before the ritual starts." I made eye contact with each of my four friends. "You guys have to come with me." They nodded like bobble-headed dolls. I turned back to Erik. "You're coming to the ritual, aren't you?”
"Yeah. And that reminds me. I got you something in New York. Hang on for just a sec, and I'll go get it.”
He hurried back through the actors' entrance to the audito¬rium.
"I swear he is too damn good to be true," Erin said.
"Let's hope his friend is just like him," Shaunee said, sending Cole a flirty smile from across the room, which I noticed he re¬turned.
"Damien, did you get the eucalyptus and sage for me?" I was already feeling nervous. Hell! I should have eaten. My stomach was an empty cavern just waiting to clench up on me.
"Don't worry, Z. I got the eucalyptus and I even braided it to¬gether with the sage for you," Damien said.
"Everything will be perfect, you'll see," Stevie Rae said. "Yeah, you don't need to be nervous," Shaunee said.
"We'll be right there with you," Erin finished.
I smiled at them, incredibly glad they were my friends. And then Erik was back. He handed me the big white box he was carrying. I hesitated before tearing into it and Shaunee said, "Z, if you don't open it I will.”
"Damn right," Erin said.
Eagerly, I slid off the decorative string that held it shut, opened the lid, and gasped (along with everyone else who was standing close enough to see). Inside the box pooled the most beautiful dress I'd ever seen. It was black, but woven into the material were metallic specks of silver, so that wherever the light touched, it glittered and sparkled like shooting stars against the night sky.
"Erik, this is beautiful." I sounded choked because I was trying really hard not to make a fool out of myself and burst into happy tears.
"I wanted you to have something special for your first ritual as leader of the Dark Daughters," he said.
We hugged again before my friends and I had to rush out and head to the rec hall. I clutched the dress to my chest and tried not to think about the fact that while Erik was buying me an amaz¬ingly cool present I had been either sucking Heath's blood or flirting with Loren. And while I tried not to think about that, I also tried to ignore the guilty voice inside my head that kept say¬ing, over and over, You don't deserve him ... you don't deserve him … you don't deserve him .. .


CHAPTER TWENTY


"Shaunee, Erin, and Stevie Rae—you guys start lighting the white candles. Damien, if you place the colored candles for the ele¬ments in their positions I'll be sure that everything's set for Nyx's table.”
"Easy—" Shaunee said.
"Peasy," Erin chimed in.
"Japanesy," Stevie Rae added, making the Twins give her mir¬ror eye rolls.
"Are the element candles still in the supply room?" Damien asked.
"Yep," I called as I headed to the kitchen. I was glad I'd already put together a big tray of fresh fruits, cheeses, and meats for Nyx's table. I just needed to retrieve it and the bottle of wine from the refrigerator, and arrange the bounty neatly on the table placed in the center of the large circle made of white candles. The table al¬ready had an ornate goblet on it, as well as a beautiful statue of the Goddess, a long, elegant lighter, and the purple candle that would represent spirit, the last element I would call to the circle. The table symbolized the richness of the blessings Nyx has given her children, vampyres and fledglings. I liked setting up the God-dess's table. It made me feel calm, something that I especially needed tonight. I arranged the food and wine, and went over and over in my mind the words of the ritual I was going to use in—I glanced at the clock and felt my stomach tighten—in fifteen min¬utes. Fledglings were already starting to come into the rec hall, but they were being pretty subdued and hanging out in the cor¬ners of the large room in clusters while they watched the Twins and Stevie Rae light the white candles that would form the cir¬cumference of the circle. Maybe I wasn't the only one nervous about tonight. It was a big change to have me lead the Dark Daughters. Aphrodite had been leader for the past two years, and in that time the group had become a cliquish, snobby club where fledglings who weren't part of the "in" crowd were used and made fun of.
Well, things were changing tonight.
I glanced at my friends. We'd all hurried to change our clothes before coming to the rec hall, and everyone had chosen to wear solid black to keep with the theme of the amazing dress Erik had given me. I glanced down at myself for the zillionth time. The dress was simple, but perfect. It had a round neckline that was low, but not as low as ho-ish Aphrodite's ritual dresses had been. It was long-sleeved and hugged my body to the waist, from there down it swirled gracefully to the floor. The silver specks that cov¬ered it glimmered in the candlelight whenever I moved. What also glittered whenever I moved was the necklace that dangled from the silver chain around my neck. Each Dark Daughter and Son had a similar necklace, with two exceptions—my triple moons were encrusted with garnets, and mine was the only neck¬lace that had been found with the body of a dead human teenager. Okay, it wasn't exactly my necklace that had been found. It was one like mine. Just like mine.
No. I wouldn't think about negative things tonight. I would only concentrate on positives, and on preparing myself to lead my first public circle-casting and ritual. Damien returned to the main room with a big tray on which he balanced the four candles that represented each element: yellow for air, red for fire, blue for water, and green for earth. I already had my purple spirit candle on Nyx's table. I smiled and thought how great my friends looked, dressed chicly in black with their silver Dark Daughters' neck¬laces. Stevie Rae had already taken her place at the northernmost part of the circle where earth should be. Damien handed her the green candle. I just happened to be watching them, so there was no mistaking what I saw. As Stevie Rae touched the candle, her eyes widened and she let out a weird sound that was a cross be¬tween a scream and a gasp. Damien had taken such a hasty step back that he had to clutch at the other candles to keep them from tumbling off the tray.
"Did you feel it?" Stevie Rae's voice sounded weird, hushed yet amplified.
Damien looked shaky, but he nodded and said, "Yeah, and I smelled it, too.”
Then they both turned to look at me.
"Uh, Zoey, could you come here for a second?" Damien asked. He sounded normal again, and had I not been watching what had happened between the two of them I would have thought noth¬ing more was going on than maybe they needed help with the candles.
But I had been watching, which is why I didn't yell from the center of the circle and ask what they wanted. Instead I hurried over to them and kept my voice low. "What's going on?”
"Tell her," Damien said to Stevie Rae.
Still looking wide-eyed, startled, and more than a little pale, Stevie Rae said, "Can't you smell it?”
I frowned. "Smell it? What are—" And then I did smell it—freshly cut hay, honeysuckle, and something else that I swear re¬minded me of newly plowed dirt in my grandma's lavender fields.
"I do," I said hesitantly, feeling thoroughly confused. "But I didn't call earth into the circle." My affinity, or power, given to me by Nyx was the ability to materialize the five elements. Even after a month, I wasn't exactly sure what all that power encompassed, but one thing I did know was that when I cast a circle and called each element to it, all of them manifested very physically. The wind whipped around me when I called air. Fire made my skin glow with heat (and, quite frankly, made me sweat). I could feel the coolness of the sea when I evoked water. And when I called earth to the circle I smelled earthy things and even felt grass under my feet (even when I was wearing shoes, which was truly weird).
But, as I'd said, I hadn't begun casting the circle, so I hadn't called any of the elements, yet Stevie Rae, Damien, and I were clearly smelling earth smells.
Then Damien sucked air and his face split into a huge grin. "Stevie Rae has an affinity for earth!”
"Huh?" I said brilliantly.
"No way,” Stevie Rae said.
"Try this," Damien went on, his excitement growing by the second. "Close your eyes, Stevie Rae, and think about the earth." He looked at me. "Don't you think about it.”
"'Kay," I said quickly. His excitement was contagious. It would be fantastic if Stevie Rae had an earth affinity. Having an elemen¬tal affinity was a powerful gift from Nyx, and I would definitely love it if my best friend had been blessed like that from our God¬dess.
"Okay." Stevie Rae sounded breathless, but she closed her eyes.
"What's happening?" Erin said.
"Why's she have her eyes closed?" Shaunee said. Then she sniffed the air. "And why does it smell like hay over there? Stevie Rae, I swear if you're trying out some kind of bumpkin perfume I might have to smack you.”
"Shhh!" Damien put his finger to his lips and shushed her. "We think Stevie Rae might have developed an earth affinity."
Shaunee blinked. "Nuh uh!”
"Huh," Erin said.
"I can not concentrate with y'all talking," Stevie Rae said, opening her eyes to glare at the Twins.
"Sorry," they muttered.
"Try again," I encouraged her.
She nodded. Then she closed her eyes and screwed her fore¬head up in concentration while she thought about the earth. I did not think about it, which was actually pretty hard because within a couple of seconds the air was filled with the smells of freshly mowed grass, and flowers, and I could even hear birds chirping like crazy and—
"Ohmygod! Stevie Rae has an affinity for earth!" I blurted. Stevie Rae's eyes sprang open and she covered her mouth with both of her hands, looking shocked and thrilled.
"Stevie Rae, that's amazing!" Damien said, and in seconds all of us were congratulating and hugging her while she giggled through happy tears.
Then it happened. I had one of my feelings. And this time it was (thankfully) a good one.
"Damien, Shaunee, Erin—I want you guys to take your places in the circle." They gave me questioning looks, but must have rec¬ognized the tone of my voice because they instantly did what I told them to do. I wasn't exactly the boss of them, but my friends respected that I was in training to someday be their High Priest¬ess, so they obediently walked to the place in the circle that I had assigned to each of them weeks ago when it had only been the five of us, and I was casting a circle to try to figure out if I really had a Goddess-given affinity, or if I just had very little sense and an overactive imagination.
As they took their places I looked around at the kids who were already in the rec hall. I definitely needed outside help. Then Erik walked into the room with Jack, and I grinned and motioned them over to me.
"What's up, Z? You look like you're going to explode," Erik said, and then he lowered his voice, and for my ears alone added, "And you look as hot in that dress as I thought you would.”
"Thanks, I love it!" I did a quick little twirl that was partially flirting with Erik, and partially pure happiness at what I was al¬most sure was getting ready to happen. "Jack, would you please go over to Damien and get the tray of candles he's holding and bring them back here to the middle of the circle?”
"Yep," Jack said and scampered off to do as I asked. Okay, he didn't actually scamper, but he was very perky.
"What's going on?" Erik asked.
"You'll see.” I grinned, barely able to suppress my excitement.
When Jack was back with the candles I put the tray on Nyx's table. I concentrated for a second, and decided my instincts were telling me fire would be the right choice. Then I picked up the red candle and handed it to Erik. "Okay, I need you to take this candle over to Shaunee.”
Erik wrinkled his forehead. "Just take it over to her?"
"Yeah. Hand it to her and then pay attention.”
"To what?”
"I'd rather not say.”
He shrugged and gave me a look that said that even though he might think I was hot he also might think that I had lost my mind, but he did as I asked and walked over to where Shaunee was standing in the southernmost part of the circle—the area from which I called the element fire. He stopped in front of her. Shaunee looked around him at me.
"Take the candle from him," I called across the circle to her, concentrating on how cute Erik looked so that I wouldn't be thinking about fire at all.
Shaunee shrugged. "Okay," she said.
She took the red candle from Erik. I was watching her closely, but I hadn't needed to. What happened was so obvious that sev¬eral of the kids standing around the outside of the circle gasped along with Shaunee. The instant her hand touched the candle there was a whoosh noise. Her long, black hair began to lift and crackle as if it was filled with static electricity, and her beautiful chocolate skin glowed as if she had been lit from within.
"I knew it!" I cried, practically jumping up and down with ex¬citement.
Shaunee looked up from her glowing body to meet my eyes. "I'm doing this, aren't I?”
"You are!”
"I have an affinity for fire!”
"Yes, you do!" I yelled happily.
I heard lots of oohs and ahhs from the ever-increasing crowd, but I didn't have time for them right now. Following my gut feel¬ing I motioned for Erik to come back to the center of the circle, which he did with a huge grin on his face.
"That may be the coolest thing I've ever seen," he said.
"Just wait. If I'm right, and I think I am, there's more." I gave him the blue candle. "Now take this one to Erin.”
"Your wish is my command," he said with an old-time flour¬ish. If anyone else bowed like that in public they would have looked like an utter dork. Erik looked like an utter hottie—part gentleman, part bad boy pirate. I was thinking about how yummy Erik was when Erin and Shaunee let out twin squeals of happiness at almost the same instant.
"Look at the floor!" Erin was pointing to the tile floor of the rec hall. In a circular area around her the tile floor was rippling and it appeared to be lapping against feet, even though nothing was actually getting wet, making it seem that Erin was standing in the middle of the ghost of an ocean shore. Then she looked up at me with shimmering blue eyes. "Oh, Z! Water is my affinity!”
I grinned at her. "Yes, it is!”
Erik hurried back to me. This time I didn't have to prompt him to pick up the yellow candle.
"Damien, right?" he said.
"Totally right.”
He headed to Damien, who was fidgeting at the easternmost part of the circle where the element air should manifest. Erik of¬fered the yellow candle to Damien. Damien didn't touch it. In¬stead, he peered around Erik to me. The boy looked scared to death.
"It's okay, go ahead and take it," I told him.
"Are you sure it's going to be okay?" He glanced nervously around at what was now a large crowd of fledglings watching him expectantly.
I knew what was wrong. Damien was afraid he would fail, that he would be left out of the magic that was happening to the girls. In Soc class I'd learned that it was unusual for a gift as strong as an affinity for an element to be given to a male. Nyx gifted men with exceptional strength, and their affinities usually had to do with the physical, like Dragon, our fencing instructor, had been gifted with exceptional quickness and visual accuracy. Air was definitely a female affinity, and it would be nothing short of in¬credible for Nyx to gift Damien with an air affinity. But I had a calm, happy feeling deep inside me. I nodded at Damien and tried to telegraph confidence to him. "I'm sure. Go on. I'll be busy thinking about how cute Erik is while you're calling air to you," I said.
As Erik grinned over his shoulder at me Damien drew a deep breath, and looking a lot like he thought he was grabbing on to a live bomb, he took the candle from Erik.
"Superb! Glorious! Wondrous!" Damien made use of his large vocabulary while his brown hair lifted and his clothes flapped crazily in the sudden wind that surrounded him. When he looked at me again happy tears were running down his cheeks. "Nyx has given me a gift. Me," he enunciated carefully, and I knew what he was saying in that one word—that he realized Nyx found him worthy even though his parents didn't, and even though much of his life people had made fun of him because he liked guys. I had to blink hard to keep from bawling like a baby.
"Yes, you," I said firmly.
"Your friends are spectacular, Zoey." Neferet's voice carried above the excited noise of the kids who were now converging on the four newly discovered talents.
The High Priestess was standing just inside the entrance to the rec hall, and I wondered how long she'd been there. I could see that there were a few professors with her, but they were in the shadow of the doorway and it was difficult to make out exactly who they were. Okay. You can do this. You can face her. I swal¬lowed hard and forced my thoughts to focus on my friends and the miracles that had just happened to them.
"Yes, my friends are spectacular!" I agreed enthusiastically.
Neferet nodded. "It is only right that Nyx, in her wisdom, has thought to gift you, a fledgling who has such unusual powers, with a group of friends who are also blessed with impressive powers of their own." She dramatically swept out her arms. "I prophesy that this group of fledglings will make history. Never before has so much been given to so many at the same time and place." Her smile included all of us and she truly looked like a loving mother. I would have been as taken in as everyone else by her warmth and beauty if it hadn't been for the glimpse I got of the thin red line of a newly healing cut that marred her forearm. I shivered and forced my eyes and my thoughts from the evidence that what I'd witnessed had definitely not been a figment of my imagination.
Good thing, too, because Neferet had turned her attention to me.
"Zoey, I believe this is the perfect time to announce your blue¬print for the new Dark Daughters and Sons." I opened my mouth to start explaining what I had in mind (even though I hadn't planned on announcing the changes I wanted to make until after I'd cast the ritualistic circle and given the "old" membership some tangible proof that I actually had been gifted by Nyx), but no one paid any attention to me. Everyone's attention was riveted on Neferet as she strode out into the room and stood not far from Shaunee so that my friend's manifestation of fire lit up the High Priestess like a spotlight made of flame. In the same powerful, al¬luring voice she used during rituals, Neferet spoke. Only this time she was using my words—my ideas.
"It is time the Dark Daughters had a foundation. It has been decided that Zoey Redbird will begin an era and a new tradition with her leadership. She will form a Prefect Council, made up of seven fledglings, of which she will be Head Prefect. The other members of the Council will be Shaunee Cole, Erin Bates, Stevie Rae Johnson, Damien Maslin, and Erik Night. There will be one more Prefect chosen from Aphrodite's old Inner Circle to repre¬sent my wish for unity among the fledglings.”
Her wish? I ground my teeth together and tried to find my happy place while Neferet paused to let the general sounds of cel¬ebration die (which included the Twins, Stevie Rae, Damien, Erik, and Jack, cheering their brains out). Jeesh. She was making it seem like she was responsible for ideas I'd sweated over for weeks!
"The Prefect Council will be responsible for the workings of the new Dark Daughters and Sons, which includes being certain that from this day forth all members exemplify the following ideas: they should be authentic for air; they should be faithful for fire; they should be wise for water; they should be empathetic for earth; and they should be sincere for spirit. If a Dark Daughter or Son fails to uphold these new ideals, it will be the job of the Pre¬fect Council to decide upon a penalty, which could include ex¬pulsion from the group." She paused again, and I observed how serious and attentive everyone was, which was the exact reaction I had hoped for when I made this announcement during the ac¬tual Full Moon Ritual. "I have also decided that it would behoove our fledglings to become more involved with the surrounding community. After all, ignorance breeds fear and hatred. So I want the Dark Daughters and Sons to begin working with a local char¬ity. After much consideration I decided that the perfect organiza¬tion would be Street Cats, the rescue charity for homeless cats.”
There was good-humored laughter at this, which was the reac¬tion Neferet had had when I'd told her my decision to have the Dark Daughters involved in that particular charity. I could not believe Neferet was taking credit for everything that I had told her that night at dinner.
"I will leave you now. This is Zoey's ritual, and I am simply here to show my heartfelt support for my talented fledgling." She gave me a kind smile, which I made myself return. "But first I have a gift for the new Prefect Council." She clapped her hands together and five male vampyres I'd never seen before emerged from the shadows of the entryway. They were each carrying what looked like thick, rectangular tiles that must have been about a foot square and a couple of inches thick. They placed them at the floor by her feet and they disappeared back out the door. I stared at the things. They were a creamy color and looked like they might be wet. I had no clue what they were. Neferet's laughter bubbled around us, making me grind my teeth together. Did no one else think she sounded totally patronizing?
"Zoey, I'm shocked you don't recognize your own idea!"
"I—no. I don't know what they are," I said.
"They're squares of wet cement. I remembered that you told me you wanted each of the members of the Prefect Council to have an imprint of his or her handprints made so that the fledg¬ling's handprint will be preserved forever. Tonight six of the seven members of the new Council can do that.”
I blinked at her. Great. She was finally giving me credit for something, and it was Damien's idea. "Thank you for the pres¬ent," I said, and then added quickly, "And it was Damien's idea to make handprints, not mine.”
Her smile was blinding, and when she turned it on Damien I didn't have to look at him to know that he practically wriggled with pleasure. "And what a lovely idea it was, too, Damien." Then she addressed the entire room again. "I am pleased that Nyx has gifted this group so fully. And I say blessed be to all of you, good night!" She dropped to the floor in a graceful curtsy. Then, to the cheers of the fledglings, she rose and made a skirt-flowing, mag¬nificent exit.
Which left me standing in the middle of an un-cast circle feel¬ing like I was all dressed up with nowhere to go.


CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE


It took forever to get everyone settled down and in place for the ritual to begin, especially because I couldn't show how I was re¬ally feeling—which was pissed. Not only would no one under¬stand, but also no one would believe what I was beginning to see: that there was something dark and wrong about Neferet. And why should anyone understand or believe me? I was, after all, just a kid. No matter what powers Nyx had given me I was totally not in the same league with a High Priestess. Besides that, no one ex¬cept me had witnessed the little puzzle pieces that were fitting to¬gether to create such a terrible picture.
Aphrodite would understand and believe me. I hated that the thought was true.
"Zoey, just let me know whenever you're ready and I'll start the music," Jack called from the back corner of the rec hall where all the audio equipment was kept. Apparently the new kid was a ge¬nius with electronics, so I'd instantly drafted him to run the mu¬sic for the ritual.
"Okay, just a sec. How about I nod at you when I'm ready?"
"Fine with me!" he said with a grin.
I backed up a few feet, realizing that, ironically, I was now standing almost exactly where Neferet had stood not long before. I tried to clear my mind of all the confusion and negatives that were swirling in it. My eyes traveled around the circle. There was a fairly large group of kids present—actually more than I had ex¬pected to show. They had quieted down, though there was still a general air of excitement in the room. The white candles in their tall glass containers illuminated the circle in a clean, bright light. I could see my four friends standing in their positions, waiting expectantly for me to begin the ritual. I focused on them and the wonderful gifts they had been given, and got ready to nod at Jack.
"I thought I'd volunteer my services to you.”
Loren's deep voice had me jumping and making an unattrac¬tive little squeaking noise. He was standing behind me in the en¬tranceway.
"Crap, Loren! You scared me so bad I almost peed on myself!" I blurted before I had time to control my dorky mouth. But I was telling the truth, Loren had me clutching my pearls in a total freak-out.
Apparently he didn't mind my inability to control my mouth. He gave me a long, slow, sexy smile. "I thought you knew I was here."
"No. I was a little distracted.”
"Stressed, I bet." He touched my arm in a gesture that prob¬ably looked innocent. You know, friendly and professorially sup¬portive. But felt like a caress, a really warm caress. His widening smile made me wonder about his vamp intuitiveness. If he could read any part of my mind I would just die. "Well, I'm here to help you with that stress.”
Was he kidding? Just the sight of him made me lose my mind. Stress free around Loren Blake? Not hardly.
"Really? How are you going to do that?" I asked with just a hint of a flirty smile, very aware that the entire room was watching us and that the entire room included my boyfriend.
"I'll do for you what I do for Neferet.”
The silence stretched between us as my mind wallowed around in the gutter wondering just exactly what he did for Neferet. Thankfully, he didn't let me wallow too long.
"Every High Priestess has a poet who recites ancient verse to evoke the presence of the Muse as she enters into her rituals. To¬day, I'm offering to recite for a very special High Priestess in training. Plus I believe there are some misconceptions that need to be cleared up.”
He crossed his fist over his heart in a gesture of respect people often used when they greeted Neferet. Unlike a cool, confident High Priestess, and very much like a dork, I just stood there star¬ing at him. I mean, I didn't have a clue what he was talking about. Misconceptions? As in someone might believe I know what the hell I'm doing?
"But I will need your permission," he continued. "I wouldn't want to intrude upon your ritual.”
"Oh, no!" Then I realized what he must think my silence and then my blurted oh, no meant, and I got hold of myself. "What I mean is that no, you definitely aren't intruding, and yes, I accept your offer. Graciously," I added, wondering how I had ever felt grown and sexy around this man.
His smile made me want to melt in a pool at his feet. "Excel¬lent. Whenever you're ready, just give me the word and I'll begin your introduction." He glanced over to where Jack was gawking at us. "Mind if I have words with your assistant about the slight alteration in your plans?”
"No," I said, feeling utterly surreal. As Loren walked past me his arm brushed mine intimately. Was I imagining the flirting that was going on between us? I looked at the circle and saw that everyone was staring at me. Reluctantly, I found Erik where he was standing beside Stevie Rae. He smiled at me and winked. Okay, it didn't seem like Erik had noticed anything wrong in Loren's behavior toward me. I glanced at Shaunee and Erin. They were following Loren with hungry eyes. They must have felt me looking at them, because they both managed to pull their gazes from Loren's butt. They waggled their eyebrows at me and grinned. They, too, were acting completely normal.
It was just me who was being weird about Loren.
"Get yourself together!" I hissed at myself under my breath. Concentrate … concentrate ... concentrate .. .
"Zoey, I'm ready when you are." Loren had moved back beside me.
I drew a deep, calming breath and lifted my head. "I'm ready.”
His dark eyes held mine. "Remember, trust your instincts. Nyx speaks to the hearts of her priestesses." Then he walked a few paces into the room.
"It is a night for joy!" Loren's voice was not just deep and ex¬pressive, it was also commanding. He had the same ability Erik did to captivate a room using only his voice. Everyone instantly was silent, waiting eagerly for his next words. "But you should know that the joy of this night isn't found only in the gifts Nyx has so visibly allowed to manifest here. Some of tonight's joy was born two nights ago when your new leader was deciding upon the future she wanted for the Dark Daughters and Sons.”
I felt a little start of surprise. I didn't know if anyone else really got what he was saying—that I, and not Neferet, had come up with the new standards for the Dark Daughters, but I appreciated his attempt to set things right.
"In celebration of Zoey Redbird, and her new vision for the Dark Daughters, I am honored to open her first ritual as your Head Prefect and High Priestess trainee with a classic poem about joy being newly born that was written by my namesake, the vampyre poet William Blake." Loren looked back at me and mouthed, You're on! then he nodded to Jack, who hurriedly turned to the audio equipment.
The magical sounds of Enya's orchestral song "Aldebaran" filled the room. I swallowed down the last of my nervousness, and began walking forward, tracing a path around the outside of the circle, like I'd watched both Neferet and Aphrodite do in the rituals they'd led. As they had, I moved in time with the music, making little impromptu turns and dance moves. I'd been really freaked out about this part of the ritual—I mean, I'm not clumsy, but I'm also not Ms. Cheerleader/Pom Squad. Thankfully, it was lots easier than I'd imagined it to be. I'd chosen this particular music because of its beautiful, lilting beat, and also because I'd Googled Aldebaran and found out it was a giant star—and I thought music that celebrated the night sky was appropriate for tonight. It was a good choice, because it seemed as if the music was carrying me, moving my body gracefully around the room and overcoming my initial nerves and awkwardness. When Loren's voice began reciting the poem, he, too, echoed the cadence of the music, just like my body was, and it felt like we were making magic together.


" `I have no name,
I am but two days old.'
What shall I call thee?
`I happy am,
Joy is my name.’
Sweet joy befall thee!"


The words of the poem thrilled me. And as I moved toward the center of the circle I felt like I was literally personifying the emotion.


"Pretty joy!
Sweet joy but two days old,
Sweet joy I call thee;
Thou dost smile ...”
Echoing the words of the poem, I smiled, loving the sense of magic and mystery that seemed to fill the room along with the music and Loren's voice.


"I sing the while—Sweet joy befall thee."


Somehow Loren timed it perfectly, and his poem concluded as I reached Nyx's table at the middle of the circle. I was only a little breathless as I smiled around the circle and said, "Welcome to the first Full Moon Ritual for the new Dark Daughters and Sons!”
"Merry meet!" everyone responded automatically.
Without giving myself an opportunity to hesitate, I picked up the ornate ritualistic lighter and moved purposefully to stand be¬fore Damien. Air was the first element called when casting a circle, as well as the last to leave it when the circle was closed. I could feel Damien's excitement and expectation as if they were a physi¬cal force.
I smiled at him, swallowed hard to clear the dryness in my throat. When I spoke I tried to project my voice like Neferet. I'm not sure how good of a job I did at it. Let's just say I was glad that the circle was a relatively small one and the room was quiet.
"I call the element air first to our circle, and I ask that it guard us with winds of insight. Come to me, air!”
I touched the lighter to Damien's candle and it flared to life, even though he and I were suddenly standing in the middle of a very obvious whirlwind that lifted our hair and sang playfully within the full skirt of my beautiful dress. Damien laughed and whispered, "Sorry, it's all so new to me that it's hard for me not to be a little overexuberant.”
"I understand completely," I whispered back to him. Then I turned to my right and continued around the circle to Shaunee, who was looking unusually serious, like she was getting ready to take a math test. "Relax," I whispered, trying not to move my lips.
She nodded jerkily, still looking scared to death.
"I call the element of fire to our circle and ask that it burn bril¬liantly here with the light of might and passion, bringing both to guard and aid us. Come to me, fire!”
I started to touch the end of my lighter to the red candle Shaunee held, but before I could get it there the wick burst into a flickering white light that lifted up well past the lip of the glass jar holding it.
"Oopsie," Shaunee mumbled.
I had to bite my cheek to keep from laughing, and I moved quickly on to my right to where Erin was waiting with the blue candle clutched before her like it was a bird that would fly away if she didn't keep hold of it.
"I call water to this circle and ask that you guard us with your oceans of mystery and majesty, and nurture us as your rain does the grass and trees. Come to me, water!”
I lit Erin's blue candle, and it was the weirdest thing. I swear it was like I was suddenly transported to the shores of a lake. I could smell the water and feel it cool against my skin, even though I knew I was standing in the middle of a room and ab¬solutely could not be anywhere near water.
"Guess I should tone it down a little," Erin said softly.
"Nah," I whispered. Then I headed to Stevie Rae. I thought she looked kinda pale, but she had a big grin on her face when I moved into the space in front of her.
"I'm ready!" she said, so loud the kids standing around us laughed softly.
"Good," I said. "Then I call earth to the circle, and ask that you guard us with the strength of stone and the richness of wheat-filled fields. Come to me, earth!" I lit the green candle and was washed in the scents of a meadow—surrounded by birdsong and flowers.
"It's just so cool!" Stevie Rae said.
"So is that." Erik's voice surprised me and when I looked at him he pointed to the circle. Confused, I followed his hand to see a beautiful silver thread of light connecting each of my four friends—the four personifications of the elements—and making a boundary of power within the candles that had already lit the circumference.
"Like it was for us alone, only it's stronger now." Stevie Rae whispered the words, but I could tell by Erik's startled look that he'd heard her. Guess I'd have some explaining to do later, but now was definitely not the time to worry about that.
I moved quickly back to Nyx's table at the center of the circle to complete the casting. I faced the purple candle that sat on the table.
"Finally, I call spirit to our circle and ask that you join us bringing insight and truth with you, so that the Dark Daughters and Sons may be guarded by integrity. Come to me, spirit!" I lit the candle. It blazed even brighter than Shaunee's, and the space around me was filled with the scents and sounds of all of the other four elements. They filled me, too, making me feel strong, calming and steadying me, even as they energized me. With steady hands I took up the braided length of eucalyptus and sage. I lit it with the spirit candle, let it burn for a little while, and then blew it out so that the fragrant smoke billowed in waves around me. Then I faced the circle and began my speech. I had been worried about what I was going to say since Neferet had showed up and literally stolen the biggest part of what I'd planned to talk about. But now, in the middle of the circle I'd cast, filled with the power of all five of the elements, my confidence had been restored as I hastily reworded lines in my head.
I wafted the braided smudge stick around me as I walked the circle, meeting kids' eyes and trying to make everyone feel wel¬come.
"Tonight I wanted to change things from the type of incense burned, to the abuse of our classmates." I spoke slowly, letting my words and the smoke they mingled with soak into the listening group. They all knew that under the leadership of Aphrodite the incense used during Dark Daughters' rituals had been heavily laced with pot, just as well as they knew that Aphrodite had loved bleeding some poor kid they called "refrigerator" and "snack bar" and mixing his or her blood into the wine everyone sipped. Nei¬ther was going to happen again as long as I had anything to do with it. "I chose to burn eucalyptus and sage tonight for the properties the herbs contain. For centuries eucalyptus has been used by the American Indians for healing, protection, and purifi¬cation, just as they used white sage to drive out negative spirits, energies, and influences. Tonight I ask the five elements to em¬power these herbs and magnify their energy.”
Suddenly the air around me moved, drawing the smoke from the smudge braid with it in curls and wisps, carrying it through¬out the circle as if a giant's hand was wafting through the air cur¬rents. The fledglings in the circle murmured in awe, and I sent a grateful, silent prayer to Nyx, thanking her for allowing my power over the elements to manifest so clearly.
When the circle quieted again I continued. "The full moon is a magical time when the veil between the known and the un¬known is thin, and can even be lifted. That is mysterious and wonderful, but tonight I want to focus on another aspect of the full moon—that it is an excellent time to complete, or end, things. What I want to end tonight is the old negative reputation of the Dark Daughters and Sons. As of this full moon night that part of us has ended, and a new time has begun.”
I kept walking, moving around the circle in a clockwise direc¬tion. Choosing my words carefully, I said, "From here on the Dark Daughters and Sons will be a group filled with integrity and purpose, and I believe the fledglings Nyx chose to gift with ele¬mental affinities represent the ideals of our new group well.” I smiled at Damien. "My friend Damien is the most authentic per-son I know, even when being true to himself has been a hard thing to be. He represents air well." The wind around Damien picked up as he smiled shyly at me.
I turned to Shaunee next. "My friend Shaunee is the most faith¬ful person I know. If she's on your side, she's there whether you're right or wrong—and if you're wrong she'll tell you about yourself, but she won't desert you. She represents fire well." Shaunee's mocha skin glistened as her body glowed, unburned but alight with flame.
I went to Erin. "My friend Erin's beauty sometimes fools people into thinking she has great hair, but no brains. It's not true. She is one of the wisest people I know, and Nyx proved that she looks to the interior when she chose Erin. She represents water well." As I walked past her I could hear the sound of waves crashing on a shore.
I stopped in front of Stevie Rae. She was looking tired, with dark circles bruising the otherwise pale skin under her eyes, which made sense. Obviously, she'd been worrying too much about me—as usual. "My friend Stevie Rae always knows when I'm happy or sad, stressed or relaxed. She worries about me; she worries about all of her friends, sometimes she is too empathetic, and I'm glad that now she has the earth she can draw strength from. She represents earth well."
I grinned at Stevie Rae, and she smiled back at me, blinking fast so that she wouldn't cry. Then I walked to the center of the circle where I put down the smudge braid and picked up the purple candle. "I'm not perfect, and I'm not going to pretend to be. What I promise you is that I sincerely want what is best for the Dark Daughters and Sons, and for all of the fledglings at the House of Night." I was getting ready to say that I hoped I would represent spirit well when Erik's voice rang across the circle.
"She represents spirit well!" My four friends agreed loudly, and I was pleased (and more than a little surprised) to hear several other fledglings chime in with them.


CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO


When I started talking again everyone instantly quieted down. "Each of you who believes you can uphold the ideals of the Dark Daughters and Sons, and will try your best to be authentic, faith¬ful, wise, empathetic, and sincere—you may continue your membership in this group. But I want you to know that there will be new fledglings joining us, and they won't be judged on the way they look or who their best friends are. Make your deci¬sion, and see me or any of the other Prefects and let us know if you want to stay with the group." I caught the eyes of some of Aphrodite's old buddies and added, "We won't hold the past against you. It's how you act from here on that counts." A couple of the girls looked guiltily away from me, and a few more looked like they were trying hard not to cry. I was especially glad to see Deino meet my gaze steadily and nod somberly—maybe she wasn't so "terrible" after all.
I put down the purple candle and picked up the big ceremo¬nial goblet I'd filled earlier with sweet red wine. "And now let's drink in celebration of a full moon, and an end that leads to a new beginning." As I worked my way around the circle offering the wine to each fledgling, I recited a Full Moon Ritual prayer I'd found in the old Mystical Rites of the Crystal Moon by Fiona, the Vampyre Poet Laureate of the early 1800s.
"Airy light of the moon
Mystery of the deep earth
Power of the flowing water
Warmth of the burning flame
In Nyx's name we call to thee!"


I focused on the words to the beautiful old poem, and sin¬cerely hoped that tonight actually would be the beginning of something special.


"Healing of ills
Righting of wrongs
Cleansing of impurity
Desiring of truths
In Nyx's name we call to thee!"


I moved quickly around the circle, and was happy that the ma¬jority of the kids smiled at me and murmured "Blessed be" after they sipped from the goblet. Guess no one minded that tonight's wine was absent the blood of a bullied fledgling. (I refused to think about how much I would have loved the taste of fledgling blood mixed with the wine.)


"Sight of the cat
Hearing of the dolphin
Speed of the snake
Mystery of the phoenix
In Nyx's name we call to thee
and ask that with us you will blessed be!"


I drank the last of the wine and put the goblet back on the table. In reverse order, I thanked each element and sent them away as in turn Stevie Rae, Erin, Shaunee, and finally Damien blew out their candles. Then I completed the ritual by saying, "This Full Moon Rite is ended. Merry meet and merry part and merry meet again!”
The fledglings echoed, "Merry meet and merry part and merry meet again!”
And that was it. My first ritual as leader of the Dark Daughters was over.


I was actually feeling a little empty and almost sad—you know, kinda like the letdown you have after you've waited and waited for spring break, and then it comes and you realize you don't have any¬thing to do now that there's no school. Well, honestly I only had about a second to feel like that before my friends converged on me, all talking at once about handprints and cement drying too soon.
"Please. Like my Twin can't call in a little water to soup that ce¬ment right up if it has the nerve to dry before we can make our handprints," Shaunee said.
Erin nodded. "That's what I'm here for, Twin. That and being an example of incredibly good fashion sense.”
"Both are very important, Twin.”
Damien gave a big, exaggerated eye roll.
"Y'all, let's just make the handprints and get out of here. My stomach kinda hurts and I got a killer headache," Stevie Rae said.
I nodded in complete understanding with Stevie Rae. We'd slept so late we hadn't had time to eat anything. I was starved, too. And I'd probably get a caffeine-deprived headache myself if I didn't eat and drink something pretty soon.
"I agree with Stevie Rae. Let's hurry and make the handprints, and then we can join everyone else in the other room with the food.”
"Neferet had the cooks make a special taco bar. I stuck my head in there earlier and it really looked yummy," Damien said.
"Well, come on then. Stop dillydallying," Stevie Rae grumped while she practically stomped over to one of the cement squares.
"What's wrong with her?" Damien whispered.
"Clearly she's having PMS issues," Shaunee said.
"Yeah, I noticed earlier she was looking kinda pale and bloated, but I didn't want to be mean and say anything," Erin said.
"Let's just make the prints and eat," I said, picking my own cement square, pleased that Erik chose the one right beside me. "Um, I wetted some towels in the kitchen so you guys could wipe your hands when you're done," said Jack, who was looking very cute and nervous holding an armload of damp white towels. I smiled at him. "That's really nice of you, Jack. Okay, let's do it!”
Close up I could tell that the cement had been poured into what looked like cardboard molds, and I figured it would be easy to tear off the cardboard once the cement had dried. I still liked Damien's idea of putting the handprints in the courtyard outside the dining hall—kinda like weird stepping stones.
The cement was definitely still wet, and there was a lot of laughing going on as we made our prints and then used twigs Jack ran out to collect (the kid was certainly handy to have around) to write our names.
While we were wiping our hands with the towels and studying our work, Erik leaned close to say, "I'm really glad Neferet chose me for the Prefect Council.”
I kept my mouth shut and nodded. If I told him that actually I had chosen him, with Damien, Stevie Rae, and the Twins agree¬ing, I would probably let the air right out of his sails. Neferet was a big deal. And it really wouldn't hurt anything (except my ego) to let him think that she was the one who picked him. I was just getting ready to change the subject and call everyone into the room with the food when I heard some weird sounds to my right. When I realized what the weird sounds were I felt my heart clench.
Stevie Rae was coughing.
Damien was directly to my right. Then came the Twins. Stevie Rae had chosen the block of cement farthest to the right, and closest to the entrance to the room with the food. A bunch of the kids were already eating, but about half of the group had stayed to watch us make the handprints and talk, so there were several more people between Stevie Rae and me, but I could see that she was still on her knees in front of her cement block. She must have felt my eyes on her because she sat back on her heels and looked over at me. I could hear her clear her throat. She gave me a tired smile and I saw her shrug and then mouth the words, Frog in my throat. And I remembered that's what she'd said during the monologue performance. She'd been coughing then, too.
Without looking at him I told Erik, "Get Neferet. Fast!”
I stood up and started moving toward her. Stevie Rae had al¬ready made her handprint and signed it, and she was wiping her hands on a towel. Before I could get to her a wrenching cough claimed her. Her shoulders shook with it. She had the towel pressed to her mouth.
Then I smelled it, and it was like I'd slammed into an invisible wall. The scent of blood washed over me, seductive, alluring, and horrible. I stopped and closed my eyes. Maybe if I stayed very still and didn't open them I could convince myself that this was all just a bad dream, that I would wake up in a few hours, still ner¬vous about the Full Moon Ritual, with Nala snoring peacefully on my pillow and Stevie Rae snoring just as peacefully in the bed be¬side me.
I felt an arm go around me, and still I didn't move.
"She needs you, Zoey." Damien's voice was shaking only a little. I opened my eyes then and stared at him. He was already cry¬ing.
"I don't think I can do this.”
His grip on my shoulders tightened. "Yes, you can. You have to."
"Zoey!" Stevie Rae sobbed.
Without another thought, I wrenched myself from Damien's arm and ran to my best friend. She was on her knees clutching the blood-soaked towel to her chest. She coughed and gagged again, and more blood sprayed from her mouth and nose.
"Get me more towels!" I snapped to Erin, who was sitting white-faced and silent beside Stevie Rae. Then I crouched in front of Stevie Rae. "It's going to be okay. I promise. It's going to be okay.”
Stevie Rae was crying, and her tears were tinged red. She shook her head. "It's not. It can't be. I'm dying." Her voice was weak and gurgled as she tried to speak through the blood hemorrhaging in her lungs and throat.
"I'm staying with you. I won't let you be alone," I said.
She grasped my hand and I was shocked by how cold hers was. "I'm scared, Z.”
"I know, I'm scared, too. But we'll get through this together. I promise.”
Erin handed me a pile of towels. I took the blood-soaked towel from Stevie Rae's hands, then I started wiping her face and mouth with a clean one, but she started coughing again and I couldn't keep up. There was just too much blood. And now Stevie Rae was shaking so hard that she couldn't hold a towel herself. With a cry, I pulled her onto my lap and wrapped my arms around her, and like she was a child again, I began rocking her, telling her over and over that it would be all right, that I wouldn't leave her.
"Zoey, this might help." I'd forgotten that there were other people in the room, so Damien's voice surprised me. I looked up to see that he was holding the relit green candle that represented earth. Then somehow, in the midst of my fear and despair, my in¬stinct kicked in and I suddenly felt very calm.
"Come down here, Damien. Hold the candle close to her.”
Damien dropped to his knees, and oblivious to the growing pool of blood that surrounded us and soaked us, he pressed close to Stevie Rae, holding the candle in front of her face. I felt more than I saw Erin and Shaunee kneel on either side of me, and I drew strength from their presence.
"Stevie Rae, open your eyes, honey," I said softly.
With a nasty, gurgling breath, Stevie Rae's eyelids fluttered open. The whites of her eyes were totally red and more pink tears leaked down her colorless cheeks, but her eyes caught on the can¬dle, and they held.
"I call the element earth to us now." My voice strengthened and got louder as I spoke. "And I ask that earth be with this very special fledgling, Stevie Rae Johnson, who has been so newly gifted with an affinity for the element. Earth is our home—our provider—and earth is where we will all someday return. Tonight I ask that earth hold and comfort Stevie Rae, and make her jour¬ney home a peaceful one.”
With a rush of fragrant air we were suddenly enveloped in the scents and sounds of an orchard. I smelled apples and hay, and heard birds chirping and bees buzzing.
Stevie Rae's reddened lips tilted up. Her eyes never left the green candle, but she whispered, "I'm not scared anymore, Z.”
Then I heard the front door burst open and Neferet was there crouched beside me. She started to move Damien and the Twins out of the way and take Stevie Rae from my arms.
My voice blasted the room with its power, and I saw even Neferet jerk back with surprise. "No! We stay with her. She needs her element and she needs us.”
"Very well," Neferet said. "It's very nearly over anyway. Help me get her to drink this so that her passing will be painless.”
I was going to take the vial filled with milky liquid from her when Stevie Rae spoke with surprising clearness. "I don't need it. Since earth came there hasn't been any pain.”
"Of course there hasn't been, child." Neferet touched Stevie Rae's blood-smeared cheek and I felt her body relax and stop trembling completely. Then the High Priestess looked up. "Help Zoey lift her onto the stretcher. Keep them together. Let's get her to the infirmary.” Neferet told me.
I nodded. Strong hands gripped Stevie Rae and me, and in moments I was placed on the stretcher with Stevie Rae still in my arms. Surrounded by Damien, Shaunee, Erin, and Erik, we were carried swiftly out into the night. Later, I remembered so many weird things about the short trip from the rec hall to the infirmary—how it was snowing heavily, but that it seemed none of the flakes touched us. And it seemed abnormally quiet, as if the earth were holding itself still because it was already mourning. I kept whispering to Stevie Rae, telling her that everything was okay, and that there was nothing to be scared of. I remember her leaning forward and vomiting blood over the side of the stretcher and how the scarlet drops looked against the clean white of the new-fallen snow.
Then we were inside the infirmary, and lifted off the stretcher onto a bed. Neferet gestured for my friends to move close to us. Damien crawled up beside Stevie Rae. He was still holding the lit green candle, and he lifted it so that if she opened her eyes again, Stevie Rae would see it. I drew a deep breath. The air around us was still filled with apple blossoms and birdsong.
Then Stevie Rae opened her eyes. She blinked a couple times, looking confused, then she looked up at me and smiled.
"Would you tell my mamma and daddy that I love them?" I could understand her, but she sounded weak, and her voice was filled with a terrible wetness.
"Of course I will," I said quickly.
"And do something else for me?”
"Anything.”
"You don't really have a mamma or a daddy, so would you tell my mamma that you're their daughter now? I think I'd worry about them less if I know y'all have each other.”
Tears were pouring down my cheeks and I had to take several sobbing breaths before I could answer her. "Don't worry about anything. I'll tell them.”
Her eyes fluttered and she smiled again. "Good. Mamma will make chocolate chip cookies for you." With obvious effort, she opened her eyes again and looked around at Damien, Shaunee, and Erin. "Y'all stick with Zoey. Don't let anything pull you apart.”
"Don't worry," Damien whispered through his tears.
"We'll take care of her for you," Shaunee managed to say. Erin was clutching Shaunee's hand and crying hard, but she nodded in agreement and smiled at Stevie Rae.
"Good," Stevie Rae said. Then she closed her eyes. "Z, I think I'm gonna sleep for a while now, 'kay?”
"Okay, honey," I said.
Her eyelids lifted once more and she looked up at me. "Will you stay with me?”
I hugged her closer. "I'm not going anywhere. You just rest. We'll all be right here with you.”
"'Kay ...” she said softly.
Stevie Rae shut her eyes. She took a few more gurgling breaths.
Then I felt her go completely limp in my arms and she didn't breathe again. Her lips opened just a little, as if she was smiling. Blood trickled from her mouth, her eyes, nose, and ears, but I couldn't smell it. All I could smell were the scents of the earth. Then, with an enormous rush of meadow-filled wind, the green candle went out, and my best friend died.



CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE


"Zoey, sweetheart, you have to let her go.”
Damien's voice didn't really register in my mind. I mean, I could hear his words, but it was like he was speaking a weird for¬eign language. I couldn't make any sense of them.
"Zoey, why don't you come with us, now?”
That was Shaunee. Shouldn't Erin chime in? I'd barely formed the thought when I heard, "Yeah, Zoey, we need you to come with us." Oh, there's Erin.
"She's in shock. Speak calmly to her and try to get her to re¬lease Stevie Rae's body," Neferet said.
Stevie Rae's body. The words echoed weirdly through my mind. I was holding on to something. I could tell that much. But my eyes were closed and I was really, really cold. I didn't want to open them, and I didn't think I'd ever get warm again.
"I have an idea." Damien's voice bounced around inside my mind like a pinball machine. "We don't have candles and we don't have a sacred circle, but it's not like Nyx isn't here. Let's use our elements to help her. I'll go first.”
I felt a hand grasp my upper arm, and then I heard Damien muttering something about calling air to blow about the scent of death and despair. A big wind whooshed around me, and I shiv¬ered.
"I better go next. She looks cold." That was Shaunee. Someone else touched my arm and after some words I didn't quite catch, I felt surrounded by warmth, like I was standing very close to an open fireplace.
"My turn," Erin said. "I call water and ask that you wash from my friend and future High Priestess the sadness and pain she's feeling. I know all of it can't go away, but could you please take just enough from her that she can bear to go on?" Her words reg¬istered more clearly on my mind, but I still didn't want to open my eyes.
"There's still one more element in the circle.”
I was surprised to hear Erik. Part of me wanted to open my eyes so that I could look at him, but the rest of me, too much of me, refused to move.
"But Zoey always manifests spirit," Damien said.
"Right now Zoey can't manifest anything by herself. Let's give her some help." Two strong hands gripped my shoulders, along with the other hands that grasped places on my arms. "I have no affinity for these things, but I do care about what happens to Zoey, and she has been gifted with an affinity for all five ele¬ments,” Erik said. "So I, along with all of her friends, ask that the element spirit help her wake up so that she can get over the death of her best friend.”
Like an electric shock, my body was suddenly zapped, filled with an incredible sense of awareness. Against my closed eyelids I saw Stevie Rae's smiling face. It wasn't bloodstained and pale, like it had been the last time she'd smiled at me. The image I saw was a healthy, happy Stevie Rae, and she was walking into a beautifully familiar woman's arms while she laughed joyfully.
Nyx, I thought, Stevie Rae is being embraced by the Goddess.
And my eyes opened.
"Zoey! You're back with us!" Damien cried.
"Z, you're going to need to let go of Stevie Rae now," Erik said somberly.
I looked from Damien to Erik. Then my eyes went to Shaunee and Erin. All four of my friends had their hands on me, and they were all crying. Then I realized what it was I was clutching in my arms. Slowly, I looked down.
Stevie Rae looked peaceful. She was too pale, and her lips were turning blue, but her eyes were closed and her face was relaxed, even though it was covered with blood. Her blood wasn't drip¬ping from her orifices anymore, and part of my mind realized that it smelled wrong—stale, old, dead. Almost like mold.
"Z," Erik said. "You have to let her go.”
I met his eyes. "But I told her I'd stay with her." My voice sounded strange and scratchy.
"You did. You stayed with her the whole time. She's gone now, so there's nothing else you can do.”
"Please, Zoey," Damien said.
"Neferet needs to clean her up so it's okay for her mom to see her," Shaunee said.
"You know she wouldn't want her mom and dad to see her all covered with blood," Erin said.
"Okay, but … but I don't know how to let her go." My voice cracked and I felt fresh tears leak down my cheeks.
"I'll take her from you, Zoeybird." Neferet held her arms out, like she was ready to receive a baby I'd been holding. She looked so sad and beautiful and strong—so familiar—that I forgot all the questions I had about her and simply nodded and slowly leaned forward. Neferet slid her arms under Stevie Rae's body and lifted her away from me. She shifted her hold on Stevie Rae, and then turned and laid her gently on the empty bed beside mine.
I looked down at myself. My new black dress was soaked with blood that was already stiffening and drying. The silver threads still tried to glitter in the gaslights of the room, but instead of the pure light they gave off before, they now sparkled with a copper hue. I couldn't keep looking at them. I had to move. I had to get out of there and get this dress off. I swung my feet over the side of the bed and tried to stand up, but the room pitched and rolled around me. Then the strong hands of my friends were back on my arms, and I felt anchored to the earth through their warmth.
"Take her back to her room. Get her out of that dress and cleaned up. Then be sure she goes to bed and is kept warm and quiet." Neferet was talking about me like I wasn't there, but I didn't care. I didn't want to be there. I didn't want any of this. "Give her this to drink before you put her to bed. It will help her sleep without nightmares." I felt Neferet's soft hand on my cheek. The warmth that passed from her body to mine was a shock, and I instinctively jerked away. "Be well, Zoeybird," Neferet said kindly. "I give you my word that you will recover from this." I didn't look at her, but I knew she shifted her attention back to my friends. "Take her to the dorm now.”
I was moving forward. Erik was on one side of me with his hand securely under my right elbow, Damien was on my left, holding me tightly, too. The Twins were close behind us. No one spoke as they led me from the room. I glanced back over my shoulder to see Stevie Rae's lifeless body on the bed. It almost looked like she was sleeping, but I knew better. I knew she was dead.
The five of us left the infirmary and walked into the snowy night. I shivered, and we paused long enough for Erik to take off his jacket and drape it around my shoulders. I liked the way it smelled, and tried to think of it and not the hushed fledglings we were passing and how as we approached each of them, whether they were alone or in groups, the kids moved off the sidewalk, bowed their heads, and silently crossed their right fists over their hearts.
We got to the dorm in what seemed like seconds. As we en¬tered the main room the girls who were watching TV and sitting around in groups all fell totally silent. I didn't look at any of them. I just let Erik and Damien lead me to the stairs, but before we got there Aphrodite was blocking our way. I blinked hard to focus on her face. She looked tired.
"I'm sorry Stevie Rae died. I didn't want her to," Aphrodite said.
"Don't say shit to us, you fucking hag!" Shaunee snarled. She and Erin stepped forward, looking like they wanted to beat the crap out of Aphrodite.
"No, wait," I made myself say, and they hesitated. "I need to talk to Aphrodite.”
My friends looked at me like I'd lost every bit of my mind, but I stepped out of the nest of arms that were holding me up and walked unsteadily a few paces away from the group. Aphrodite hesitated, and then she followed me.
"Did you know about what was going to happen to Stevie Rae?" I asked, keeping my voice low. "Did you have a vision about her?”
Aphrodite shook her head slowly. "No. I just had a feeling. I knew something terrible was going to happen tonight.”
"I get them, too,” I said softly.
"Feelings about things or people?”
I nodded.
"They're harder than my visions—not as specific. Did you have a feeling about Stevie Rae?" she asked.
"No. I was clueless, even though now I can look back and see signs that something was wrong with her.”
Aphrodite met my eyes. "You couldn't have stopped it. You couldn't have saved her. Nyx didn't let you know it was going to happen because there was nothing you could have done.”
"How do you know? Neferet says Nyx has deserted you," I said bluntly. I knew I was purposefully being cruel. I didn't care. I wanted everyone to hurt as much as I did.
Still looking me straight in the eyes, Aphrodite said, "Neferet lies." She started to walk away, but changed her mind and came back. "And don't drink whatever she gave you," she said. Then she left the room.
Erik, Damien, and the Twins were at my side in a blink. "Don't listen to whatever that hag had to say," Shaunee huffed. "If she said something nasty about Stevie Rae, we're gonna kick her ass," Erin said.
"No. It wasn't anything like that. She just said she was sorry, that's all.”
"Why did you want to talk to her?" Erik asked. He and Damien had ahold of me again, and now they were leading me up the stairs.
"I wanted to know if she had a vision about Stevie Rae's death," I said.
"But Neferet has made it clear that Nyx has turned her back on Aphrodite," Damien said.
"I wanted to ask anyway." I was going to add that Aphrodite had been right about the accident that almost happened to my grandma, but I couldn't say anything in front of Erik. We came to the door to my room—our room—Stevie Rae's and mine, and I stopped. Erik opened it for me and we stepped in.
"No!" I gasped. "They've taken her stuff! They can't do that!" Everything that was Stevie Rae was gone—from the cowboy boot lamp and the Kenny Chesney poster, to the gyrating Elvis clock. The shelves over her computer desk were empty. Her computer was gone. I knew if I looked in her closet, all of her clothes would be gone, too.
Erik put his arm around me. "It's what they always do. Don't worry, they didn't throw away her stuff. They just moved it so that it wouldn't make you sad. If there's something of hers you want, and her family doesn't mind, they'll give it to you.”
I didn't know what to say. I didn't want Stevie Rae's stuff. I wanted Stevie Rae.
"Zoey, you really need to get out of those clothes and take a hot shower," Damien said gently.
"Okay,” I said.
"While you're in the shower we'll get you something to eat," Shaunee said.
"I'm not hungry.”
"You need to eat. We'll get you something simple, like soup. Okay?" Erin said. She looked so upset, and was so obviously try¬ing to do something, anything, to make me feel better that I nod¬ded. Plus, I was too tired to argue with anyone. "Okay.”
"I'd stay, but it's past curfew and I can't be in the girls' dorm," Erik said.
"That's okay. I understand.”
"I want to stay, too, but well, I'm not actually a girl," Damien said. I knew he was trying to make me smile, so I made my lips move up. I imagined I looked like one of those scary, sad clowns who had a smile painted on his face along with a teardrop.
Erik hugged me, and so did Damien. Then they left.
"Do you need one of us to stay while you take a shower?" Shaunee asked.
"No, I'm fine.”
"Okay. Well ..." Shaunee looked like she was going to cry again.
"We'll be right back." Erin took Shaunee's hand and they left the room, closing it with a soft, final click.
I moved carefully, like someone had switched me "on," but had set my speed at slow. I took off my dress, bra, and panties and put them in the plastic-lined wastepaper basket that sat in the corner of our—I mean my—room. I closed up the plastic bag and put it by the door. I knew one of the Twins would throw it away for me. I went into the bathroom and meant to get straight into the shower, but my reflection caught me, and I stopped, staring. I had turned into a familiar stranger again. I looked horrible. I was pale, but I had bruised-looking circles under my eyes. The tattoos on my face, back, and shoulders stood out in stark, sapphire con¬trast to the white of my skin and the rust-colored smears of blood that covered my body. My eyes looked huge and unusually dark. I hadn't taken off my Dark Daughters necklace. The silver of the chain and the copper of the garnets caught the light and gleamed.
"Why?" I whispered. "Why did you let Stevie Rae die?”
I didn't really expect an answer, and none came. So I got in the shower and stood there for a very long time, letting my tears mix with the water and the blood and wash down the drain.


CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR


When I came out of the bathroom Shaunee and Erin were sitting on Stevie Rae's bed. They had a tray between them that held a bowl of soup, some crackers, and a can of brown pop, nondiet. They had been talking in low voices, but as soon as I entered the room they stopped.
I sighed and sat on my bed. "If you guys start acting all abnor¬mal around me I'm not going to be able to handle it.”
"Sorry," they muttered together, looking sheepishly at each other. Then Shaunee handed me the tray. I looked at the food like I couldn't remember what to do with it.
"You need to eat so that you can take the stuff Neferet gave us to give you," Erin said.
"Plus, it might make you feel better," Shaunee said.
"I don't think I'll ever feel better.”
Erin's eyes filled with tears that spilled over and dripped down her cheeks. "Don't say that, Zoey. If you never feel better that means none of us will, either.”
"You have to try, Zoey. Stevie Rae would be pissed if you didn't," Shaunee said, sniffing through her tears.
"You're right. She would be." I picked up the spoon and started sipping at the soup. It was chicken noodle, and it made a familiar, warm path down my throat, expanding into my body and chas¬ing away some of the terrible chill I'd been feeling.
"And when she got pissed that accent of hers went out of con¬trol," Shaunee said.
That made Erin and me smile.
"Y'all be niiice," Erin twanged, repeating the words Stevie Rae had said to the Twins a gazillion times.
We smiled at that, and the soup began to seem easier to swal¬low. About halfway through the bowl, I had a sudden thought. "They're not going to have a funeral or anything like that for her, are they?”
The Twins shook their heads. "Nope," Shaunee said. "They never do," Erin said.
"Well, Twin, I think some of the kids' parents do, but that'd be back in their hometown.”
"True, Twin," Erin said. "But I don't think anyone from here is going to travel to ..." she trailed off, thinking. "What was the name of that little bumpkin town Stevie Rae was from?”
"Henrietta," I said. "Home of the Fighting Hens.”
"Fighting Hens?" the Twins said together.
I nodded. "It drove Stevie Rae crazy. Even in her bumpkin¬ness she wasn't okay with being a Fighting Hen.”
"Hens fight?" Shaunee asked.
Erin shrugged. "How should I know, Twin?”
"I thought only cocks fought," I said. We all looked at each other and said, "Cocks!" and then burst out into laughter, which pretty soon was mixed with tears. "Stevie Rae would have thought that was hilarious," I said when I could catch my breath again.
"Is it really going to be okay, Zoey?" Shaunee asked.
"Is it?" Erin echoed.
"I think so," I said.
"How?" Shaunee asked.
"I don't really know. I think all we can do is take one day at a time.”
Surprisingly, I'd finished all my soup. I did feel better—warmer, more normal. I was also unbelievably tired. The Twins must have noticed my eyelids getting heavy, because Erin took my tray. Shaunee handed me a little vial of milky liquid.
"Neferet said you should drink this, that it'll help you sleep without nightmares," she said.
"Thanks." I took it from her, but I didn't drink it. She and Erin just stood there looking at me. "I'll take it in a minute. After I go to the bathroom. Just leave my pop in case it tastes nasty.”
That seemed to satisfy them. Before they left Shaunee said, "Zoey, can we get you anything else?”
"No, thanks though.”
"You'll call us if you need anything, right?" Erin said. "We promised Stevie Rae ..." Her voice broke and Shaunee finished for her, "We promised her we'd take care of you, and we live up to our promises.”
"I'll call you," I said.
"'Kay," they said. "Night …”
"Night," I called to the closing door.
As soon as they were gone I poured the creamy white liquid down the sink and threw away the vial.
Then I was alone. I glanced at my alarm clock, 6:00 A.M. It was amazing how much things could change in just a few hours. I tried not to, but flashes of Stevie Rae's death kept playing across my mind, like there was a horrible movie screen stuck inside my eyes. I jumped when my cell phone rang, and checked the caller ID. It was my grandma's number! Relief surged through me. I flipped the phone open and struggled not to burst into tears.
"I'm so glad you called, Grandma!”
"Little Bird, I woke from a dream about you. Is everything all right?" Her worried tone said she already knew it wasn't, which didn't surprise me. For my whole life my grandma and I had been linked.
"No. Nothing is right,” I whispered as I began to cry again. "Grandma, Stevie Rae died tonight.”
"Oh, Zoey! I'm so terribly sorry!”
"She died in my arms, Grandma, just minutes after Nyx gifted her with an affinity for the element earth.”
"It must have been a great comfort for her that you were with her at the end." I could hear that Grandma was crying now, too.
“We were all with her, all of my friends.”
"And Nyx must have been with her, too.”
"Yes," my voice caught on a sob. "I think the Goddess was, but I don't understand it, Grandma. It doesn't make any sense that Nyx would gift Stevie Rae, and then let her die.”
"Death never makes sense when it happens to the young. But I believe that your Goddess was close to Stevie Rae, even though her death happened too soon, and now she is resting peacefully with Nyx.”
"I hope so.”
"I wish I could come visit you, but with all this snow the roads out here are impossible. How about I fast and pray for Stevie Rae today?”
"Thank you, Grandma. I know she'd appreciate that."
"And, honey, you have to move past this.”
"How, Grandma?”
"By honoring her memory by living a life she'd be proud of you for living. Live for her, too.”
"It's hard, Grandma, especially when the vamps want us to just forget about the kids who die. They're treated like speed bumps, just something to pause a little about, and then go on.”
"I don't mean to second-guess your High Priestess, or any of the other adult vampyres, but that seems shortsighted. Death is more difficult if it goes unacknowledged.”
"That's what I think. Actually, that's what Stevie Rae thought, too.” Then an idea came to me, along with a feeling that it was the right thing to do. "I can change that. With or without permission, I'm going to be sure Stevie Rae's death is honored. She's going to be more than a speed bump.”
"Don't get in trouble, honey.”
"Grandma, I am the most powerful fledgling in the history of vampyres. I think I should be willing to get in a little trouble for something I feel strongly about.”
Grandma paused, then she said, "I think you might be right about that, Zoeybird.”
"I love you, Grandma.”
"I love you, too, u-we-tsi a-ge-hu-tsa." The Cherokee word for daughter made me feel loved and safe. "And now I want you to try to sleep. Know that I'll be praying for you, and asking the spirits of our grandmothers to watch over and comfort you.”
"Thanks, Grandma. Bye.”
"Good-bye, Zoeybird.”
I closed the phone softly. I felt better now that I'd talked to Grandma. Before it had been like there was a huge, invisible weight pressing down on my chest. Now that it had shifted some it was easier for me to breathe. I started to lie down, and Nala popped in through the kitty door, leaped up on my bed, and instantly began me-uf-ow-ing at me. I petted her and told her how glad I was to see her, and then glanced over at Stevie Rae's empty bed. She always laughed at Nala's grumpiness, and said she sounded like an old woman, but she had loved the cat as much as me. Tears stung my eyes and I wondered if there was a limit to how much someone could cry. Just then my cell phone chimed that I had a new text message. I rubbed my eyes clear and flipped my phone back open.
R U OK? Somethings wrong.
It was Heath. Well, at least now there could be no doubt at all that he and I were linked through an Imprint. And what the hell I was going to do about that, I didn't know.
Bad day. My best friend died. I text messaged him back.
It was so long that I didn't think he was going to respond. Then finally my phone chimed again.
My friends have died 2.
I closed my eyes. How could I have forgotten that two of Heath's friends had just recently been killed?
I'm sorry. I typed back.
Me 2. Do u want me to come see u?
The instant, powerful yes! that burst through my body sur¬prised me, but I suppose it shouldn't have. It would be wonderful to find oblivion in Heath's arms … in the scarlet seduction of Heath's blood .. .
No, I typed hastily, my hands shaking. You have school.
Nuh uh SNOW DAY!
I smiled, and spent a sweet second or two wishing that I could return to the time when a snow day meant a mini-holiday of tramping through snow with my friends and then curling up to watch rented movies and eat delivery pizza. My phone chimed again, breaking into my past-life fantasy.
I'll make u feel btr fri
I sighed. I'd totally forgotten about promising Heath I'd meet him after the game Friday. I shouldn't meet him. I knew it. Actu¬ally, I should go to Neferet and confess everything about Heath and have her help me fix it.
Neferet lies. Aphrodite's voice whispered through my mind. No. I couldn't go to Neferet, and for more reasons than just Aphrodite's warning. Something felt wrong about Neferet. I couldn't confide in her. My phone chimed.
Zo?
I sighed. I was so tired that it was getting hard to concentrate. I started to text back no and tell Heath that I just couldn't meet him, no matter how much I'd like to. I even hit the N and the O keys. Then I stopped, back-spaced over them, and resolutely typed: OK.
What the hell. It felt as if my life was unraveling like the hem of an old skirt. I didn't want to tell Heath no, and worrying about our Imprint was just one thing too many to worry about right now.
OK! Came his quick reply.
I sighed again, shut off my phone, and sat heavily on my bed, petting Nala, staring at nothing in particular, and wishing des¬perately that I could turn the clock back a day ... or maybe even a year ... Eventually I noticed that, for whatever reason, the vamps who had cleared out Stevie Rae's stuff had forgotten the old, handmade quilt that she kept folded on the end of her bed. I put Nala on my pillow and got up, pulling the quilt from Stevie Rae's bed. Then Nala and I curled up under it.
It felt like every molecule of my body was tired, but I couldn't sleep. I guess I missed Stevie Rae's soft snores and the sense that I wasn't alone. A sadness washed over me that was so deep I thought I might drown in it.
Two soft knocks came on the door. Then it opened slowly. I half sat up to see Shaunee and Erin, both in their pajamas and slippers, clutching pillows and blankets.
"Can we sleep with you?" Erin asked.
"We didn't want to be alone," Shaunee said.
"Yeah, and we thought you might not want to be alone, either," Erin finished.
"You're right. I don't." I swallowed back more tears. "Come on in.
They shuffled in and, with only a little hesitation, piled onto Stevie Rae's bed. Their long-haired silver-gray cat, Beelzebub, hopped up between them. Nala raised her head from my pillow to glance at him, and then, as if he were beneath her queenly no¬tice, she curled back up and went promptly to sleep.
I was just drifting off to sleep when another soft knock came on the door. This time it didn't open, so I called, "Who is it?"
"Me.”
Shaunee, Erin, and I blinked at each other. Then I hurried over to the door and opened it to find Damien standing in the hall wearing flannel pj's with pink bow-tied bears all over them. He looked kinda damp, and unmelted snowflakes were caught in his hair. He was carrying a sleeping bag and a pillow. I grabbed his arm and pulled him quickly into the room. His chubby tabby cat, Cameron, padded in with him.
"What are you doing, Damien? You know you're gonna get in a buttload of trouble if you get caught in here.”
"Yeah, it's way past curfew," Erin said.
"You might be here getting ready to defile us virgins," Shaunee said. Then she and Erin looked at each other and burst out laugh¬ing, which made me smile. It was weird to have a happy feeling in the middle of such sadness, which is probably why the Twins' laughter and my smile faded quickly.
"Stevie Rae wouldn't want us to quit being happy," Damien said into the uncomfortable silence. Then he walked to the middle of the room and spread out his sleeping bag on the floor between the two beds. "And I'm here because we need to stick to¬gether. Not because I want to defile any of you, even if all of you were still virgins, although I do appreciate your use of vocabu¬lary.”
Erin and Shaunee snorted, but looked more amused than of¬fended, and I made a mental note to ask them sex questions later.
"Well, I'm glad you came, but we're gonna have one heck of a time sneaking you out of here when everyone's eating breakfast and rushing around before school," I said, trying out escape plans in my head.
"Oh, you don't have to worry about that. The vamps are post¬ing that the school's closed today due to snow. No one’ll be rush¬ing anywhere. I'll just walk out with y'all whenever.”
"Posting? You mean we'd have to wake up, get dressed, and go downstairs before we found out there wasn't any school? That sucks," I said.
I could hear the smile in Damien's voice. "They announce it on the local radio stations like normal schools do. But do you and Stevie Rae listen to the news while you get ..." Damien trailed off, and I realized that he'd started phrasing the question as if Ste¬vie Rae were still alive.
"No," I said quickly, trying to cover his awkwardness. "We used to listen to country music. It always made me hurry up and get ready quicker so I could escape from it." My friends laughed softly. I waited until everyone was quiet again, and then I said, "I'm not going to forget her, and I'm not going to pretend like her death doesn't mean anything to me.”
"Neither am I," Damien said.
"Me either," Shaunee said.
"Ditto, Twin," Erin said.
After a while I said, "I didn't think it could happen to a fledg¬ling who had been given an affinity by Nyx. I—I just didn't think it could happen.”
"No one's guaranteed to make it through the Change, not even those gifted by the Goddess," Damien said quietly.
"That just means we have to stick together," Erin said.
"It's the only way we can get through this," Shaunee said.
"That's what we'll do then—stick together," I said with finality.
"And promise that if the worst happens, and some of the rest of us don't make it through, the others won't let them be forgotten."
"Promise,” my three friends said solemnly.
We all settled down then. The room didn't feel so lonely any¬more, and just before I drifted off to sleep I whispered, "Thanks for not letting me be alone ...” and wasn't sure if I was thanking my friends, my Goddess, or Stevie Rae.


CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE


It was snowing in my dream. At first I thought that was cool. I mean, it really was beautiful … it made the world look Disney-like and perfect, as if nothing bad could happen, or if it did it was only temporary, because everyone knows Disney is all about hap¬pily ever after .. .
I walked slowly, not feeling the cold. It seemed to be just be¬fore sunrise, but it was hard to tell with the sky all snowy and gray. I tilted my head back and looked at how the snow clung to the thick branches of the old oaks, and made the east wall look soft, and less imposing.
The east wall.
In my dream I hesitated when I realized where I was. Then I saw the figures, hooded and cloaked, standing in a group of four in front of the open trapdoor in the wall.
No! I told my dreaming self. I don't want to be over here. Not so soon after Stevie Rae died. After the last two times fledglings died I saw their ghosts or spirits or undead walking bodies or whatever here. Even if I had been gifted with a weird ability to see the dead by Nyx. Enough was enough! I didn't want—
The smallest of the cloaked figures turned around and my in¬ternal argument scattered from my mind. It was Stevie Rae! Only it wasn't. She looked too pale and thin. And there was something else about her. I stared, and my initial hesitation was overcome by a terrible need within me to understand. I mean, if it really was Stevie Rae, then I didn't need to be afraid of her. Even weirdly changed by death, she was still my best friend. Wasn't she? I couldn't help moving forward until I was standing only a few feet from the group. I held my breath, waiting for them to turn on me, but no one noticed me. In my dream world it was as though I was invisible to them. So I moved even closer, unable to take my eyes from Stevie Rae. She looked terrible—frantic—and she kept moving restlessly, shifting her eyes around her like she was ex-tremely nervous or extremely afraid.
"We shouldn't be here. We need to leave.”
I jumped at the sound of Stevie Rae's voice. She still had her Okie accent, but nothing else was recognizable. Her tone was hard and flat, lacking all emotions except a kind of animallike nervousness.
"You're not in charge of usssss," one of the other cloaked fig¬ures hissed, baring his teeth at Stevie Rae. Oh, ugh! It was that El¬liott creature. Even though his body was weirdly hunched, he stood over her aggressively. His eyes had begun to glow a dirty red. I was afraid for her, but she didn't let him intimidate her, in¬stead Stevie Rae bared her own teeth, her eyes blazed scarlet, and she gave an ugly snarl. Then she spat the words at him, "Does the earth answer you? No!" She walked forward, and Elliott automat¬ically took several steps backward. "And until it does, you will obey me! That's what she said.”
The Elliott thing made an awkward, subservient bow that the two other cloaked figures mimicked. Then Stevie Rae pointed to¬ward the open trapdoor. "Now, we go quickly." But before any of them moved I heard a familiar voice from the other side of the wall.
"Hey, do y'all know Zoey Redbird? I need to tell her I'm here and—"
Heath's voice broke off when the four creatures, with blurring speed, rushed through the door after him.
"No! Stop! What the hell are you doing?" I yelled. My heart was beating so hard that it hurt as I ran to the closing door in time to see the three of them grabbing Heath. I heard Stevie Rae say, "He's seen us. Now he comes with us.”
"But she said no more!" Elliott yelled as he kept an iron grip on the struggling Heath.
"He's seen us!" Stevie Rae repeated. "So he comes with us until she tells us what to do with him!”
They didn't argue with her, and with inhuman strength they dragged him away. The snow seemed to swallow his screams.
I sat bolt upright in bed, breathing hard, sweating and trem¬bling. Nala grumbled. I looked around the room and felt mo¬mentarily panicked. I was alone! Had I just dreamed everything that had happened yesterday? I looked at Stevie Rae's empty bed, and at the lack of any of her stuff around the room. No. I hadn't dreamed it. My best friend was dead. I let the weight of the sad-ness settle into me, and knew I'd be carrying it around for a very long time.
But hadn't the Twins and Damien slept here? Still groggy, I rubbed my eyes and looked at my clock. It was 5:00 P.M. I must have fallen asleep some time between 6:30 and 7:00 A.M. Sheesh, I'd definitely gotten enough sleep. I got up, went to the heavily draped window, and peered out. Unbelievably, it was still snow¬ing, and even though it was early, the gaslights were illuminating a slate-colored night and glistening with little snow haloes. Fledglings were doing typical kid stuff—building snowmen and having snow fights. I saw someone I thought was that Cassie Kramme girl who'd done so well in the monologue competition making snow angels with a couple other girls. Stevie Rae would have loved it. She would have made me wake up hours ago and had me out there with her in the thick of all of the fun (whether I wanted to be or not). Thinking about it, I didn't know whether I wanted to cry or smile.
"Z? Are you awake?" Shaunee called tentatively from the cracked door.
I motioned for her to come in. "Where'd you guys go?”
"We've been up a couple hours. We've been watching movies. Wanta come down with us? Erik and Cole, that totally fiiiine friend of his, are gonna come over." Then she looked around guiltily, as if remembering that Stevie Rae was gone and sorry she'd been acting normal. Something inside me made me speak.
"Shaunee, we have to go on. We have to date and be happy and live our lives. Nothing's guaranteed, Stevie Rae's death proved that. We can't waste the time we've been given. When I said I'd make sure she was remembered, I didn't mean that we were going to be sad forever. It meant I'd remember the happiness she brought to us, and keep her smile close to my heart. Always.”
"Always," Shaunee agreed.
"If you give me a second I'll put on some jeans and meet you guys downstairs.”
"'Kay," she said with a grin.
When Shaunee was gone, some of my happy façade faded. I'd meant what I said to her, it was just the acting out of it that was going to be hard. Plus, I was having a hard time shaking the bad dream. I knew it was just a dream, but it still bothered me. It was like I could hear the echoes of Heath's screams in the oppressive silence of my room. Moving automatically, I got dressed in my most comfortable jeans and a ginormic sweatshirt I'd bought from the school store a couple of weeks ago. Over my heart it had the silver embroidered insignia of Nyx standing with upraised hands cupping a full moon, and somehow it made me feel better. I brushed my hair and sighed at my reflection in the mirror. I looked like poo. So I spackled some concealer on the dark smudges un¬der my eyes, added mascara and my shiny lip gloss that smelled like strawberries. Feeling more ready to face the world, I headed downstairs.
And paused at the end of the staircase. The scene was familiar, yet completely changed. Kids clustered around the flat-screen TVs. There should be talking, and there was, but it was definitely subdued. My group of friends were sitting around the TV we liked best: the Twins in their matching poofy chairs, Damien and Jack (looking very cozy) were sitting on the floor by the love seat, Erik was on the love seat, and I was surprised to see that his fiiiine friend, Cole, had pulled up a chair and was actually sitting be¬tween the Twins. I felt my lips twitch up. He was either very brave or very moronic. They were all chattering softly, and definitely not paying attention to The Mummy Returns, which was playing on TV. So, except for two things, it was a perfectly familiar scene. First, they were being way too quiet. Second, Stevie Rae should have been sitting on the love seat with her feet folded under her telling everyone to be quiet so she could hear the movie.
I swallowed back the teary, burning feeling in the back of my throat. I had to go on. We had to go on.
"Hi, guys," I said, trying to sound normal.
This time there wasn't an awkward silence at my presence. In¬stead there was an equally awkward everyone-talking-perkily-all-at-once.
"Hi, Z!”
"Zoey!”
"Hey there, Z!”
I managed not to sigh or roll my eyes as I took my place beside Erik. He put his arm around me and squeezed, which made me feel weirdly better but guilty. Better—because he was totally sweet and hot and I was still a little amazed that he seemed to like me so much. Guilty—well, that could be summed up in one word: Heath.
"Good! Now that Z's here we can start the marathon," Erik said.
"You mean the dorkathon," Shaunee said with a snort.
"If it was the weekend we could call it the geekend," Erin said.
"Let me guess." I looked up at Erik. "You brought the DVDs."
"Yep I did!”
The rest of the group groaned in exaggerated pain.
"Which means we're watching Star Wars," I said.
"Again,” his friend Cole muttered.
Shaunee arched one perfectly waxed brow at Cole. "Are you saying that you're not a big Star Wars fan?”
He smiled at Shaunee, and even from where I was sitting I could see the flirty glimmer in his eyes. "Watching Erik's long ex¬tended director's cut of Star Wars for the millionth time is not why I came over here. I am a fan, but it's not of Darth and Chew¬bacca.”
"Are you saying Princess Leia does it for you?" Shaunee quipped.
"No, I'm more colorful than that," he said, leaning toward her. "I'm not here because I'm a fan of Star Wars either," Jack piped in, giving Damien an adoring look.
Erin giggled. "Well, we know Princess Leia doesn't do it for you.
"Thankfully," Damien said.
"I wish Stevie Rae was here,” Erik said. "She'd be all, Y'all, you're not bein’ very niiiice.”
Erik's words made everyone shut up. I glanced at him and saw that his cheeks were getting red, like he hadn't realized exactly what he'd said till after he said it. I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder.
"You're right. Stevie Rae would be scolding us like a mamma."
"And then she'd make everyone some popcorn and tell us to share nice," Damien said. "Even though she should say share nicely.”
"I liked the way Stevie Rae messed up the English language," Shaunee said.
"Yeah, she Okie-fied it," Erin said.
We all smiled at each other, and I felt a small warmth begin in my chest. This is how it started—this is how we would remember Stevie Rae—with smiles and love.
"Uh, can I sit with you guys?”
I looked up to see that cute Drew Partain kid standing ner¬vously at the edge of our group. He looked pale and sad, and his eyes were red as if he'd been crying. I remembered how he had looked at Stevie Rae, and felt a stab of sympathy for him.
"Sure!" I said warmly. "Pull up a chair." Then an inner prompt¬ing made me add, "There's room over there by Erin.”
Erin's blue eyes widened a little, but she recovered quickly. "Yeah, pull up a chair, Drew. But be warned, we're watching Star Wars.”
"Cool with me," Drew said, giving Erin a hesitant smile. "Short, but cute," I heard Shaunee whisper to Erin, and I do believe I saw Erin's cheeks get a little pink.
"Hey, I'm going to make us some popcorn. Plus, I need my—”
"Brown pop!" Damien, the Twins, and Erik said together.
I disentangled myself from Erik's arm and went to the kitchen, feeling more lighthearted than I had since Stevie Rae began cough¬ing. Everything would be okay. The House of Night was my home. My friends were my family. I'd follow my own advice and take one day at a time—one issue at a time. I'd figure out a way to wade through my boyfriend issues. I'd do my best to avoid Neferet (without being too obvious that I was avoiding her) until I could figure out what was going on with her and the weird nondead Elliott (who was enough to give anyone nightmares—no wonder I'd had such a terrible dream about Stevie Rae and Heath).
I put one bag of extra-butter, super-pop popcorn in each of the four microwaves and grabbed big bowls as they started pop¬ping. Maybe I should cast another private circle and ask Nyx for help understanding the gross Elliott issue. My stomach clenched as I realized that I would be minus Stevie Rae. How was I going to deal with replacing her? It made me feel sick, but it had to be done. If not now, for my private ritual, I'd have to find someone before the next Full Moon Ritual. I closed my eyes against the pain of missing Stevie Rae and the reality of going on without her. Please show me what to do, I prayed silently to Nyx.
"Zoey, you need to come into the living room.”
My eyes sprang open as Erik's voice startled me. The look on his face had my adrenaline surging through my body. "What's go¬ing on?”
"Just come on." He took my hand and we hurried out of the kitchen. "It's the news.”
Even though the big living room was full of kids, it had gone completely silent. They were all staring at our big-screen TV, where Chera Kimiko was looking into the camera and speaking solemnly.
"... police are warning the public not to panic, even though this is the third teenager to have disappeared. They are investigating, and assure Fox News that they have several viable leads.
"To repeat this special bulletin, a Broken Arrow teenager, an¬other high school football player, has been reported as missing. His name is Heath Luck.”
My knees no longer held me, and I would have fallen if Erik hadn't put his arm around my waist and helped me to the love seat. It felt like I couldn't catch my breath as I listened to Chera continue:
"Heath's truck was found outside the House of Night, but the High Priestess there, Neferet, assures police that he did not enter the school grounds, and that he has not been seen by anyone there. Of course there is much speculation about these disappearances, espe¬cially since the medical examiner's report states that the cause of death of the other two abducted boys was blood loss from multiple bites and lacerations. And while it is true that vampyres do not bite when they take blood from humans, the lacerations do follow a pat¬tern that is consistent with vampyric feeding. It is important that we remind the public that vampyres have a binding legal agreement with humans to not feed on any human being against his or her will. We'll have more on this story at ten o'clock, and of course will break as news becomes available …”
"Someone get me a bowl, I'm gonna be sick!" I managed to yell over the humming in my head. A bowl was thrust into my hands and I promptly puked my guts into it.


CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX


"Here, Zoey, it'll help if you swish this around in your mouth." Blindly I took whatever Erin handed me, relieved when it was just cold water. I spit it into the nasty bowl of puke.
"Ugh, take it away," I said, suppressing my gag reflex as I got a whiff of puke. I wanted to cover my face with my hands and burst into tears, but I knew that the entire room was looking at me, so I slowly straightened my shoulders and pushed my damp hair back behind my ears. I didn't have the luxury of dissolving into a pan¬icked heap. My mind was already processing the things I needed to do—had to do. For Heath, He was what was important right now, not me, and not my need for hysteria. "I have to see Nef¬eret," I said resolutely and stood up, surprised at how steady my knees had become.
"I'll go with you," Erik said.
"Thanks, but first I need to brush my teeth and put on some shoes." (I'd just stuck on a pair of thick socks to come down and watch TV.) I smiled my thanks to Erik. "I'll run up to my room and be right back." I could feel the Twins getting ready to follow me. "I'll be fine. Just give me a sec." Then I turned and hurried up the stairs.
I didn't pause at my room, but kept going down the hall, turned right, and stopped before room number 124. I'd raised my fist, but hadn't knocked when the door opened.
"I thought it would be you." Aphrodite gave me a cold look, but she stepped to the side. "Come on in.”
I walked in, surprised by the pretty pastel interior of the room. I guess I'd expected it to be dark and scary, like a black widow's web.
"Do you have any mouthwash? I just puked and I've seriously grossed myself out.”
She pointed her chin at the medicine cabinet over the sink. "In there. The glass on the sink is clean.”
I washed out my mouth, taking the opportunity to try to col¬lect my thoughts. When I was done I turned to face her. Deciding not to waste time on bullshit, I got straight to the point. "How can you tell if a vision is real or just a dream?”
She sat down on one of the beds and shook back her long, per¬fect blond hair. "It's a feeling in your gut. Visions are never easy or comfortable or fucking flower-draped like they are in the movies. Visions suck. At least real ones do. Basically, if it makes you feel like shit, it's probably real and not just a dream.” Her blue eyes looked me over carefully. "So, you've been having visions?”
"I thought I had a dream last night, a nightmare actually. To¬day I think it was a vision.”
Aphrodite's lips turned up only slightly. "Well, that sucks for you.
I changed the subject. "What's going on with Neferet?" Aphrodite's face went carefully blank. "What do you mean?"
"I think you know exactly what I mean. Something's off about her. I want to know what.”
"You're her fledgling. Her favorite. Her new golden girl. Do you think I'm actually going to say shit to you? I may be blond, but I'm definitely not stupid.”
"If that's the way you really feel, why did you warn me against taking the medicine she gave me?”
Aphrodite looked away. "My first roommate died six months after she got here. I took the medicine. It—it affected me. For a long time.”
"What do you mean? How did it affect you?”
"It made me feel funny, detached. And it stopped my visions. Not permanently, just for a couple of weeks. And then it was hard for me to even remember what she looked like." Aphrodite paused. "Venus. Her name was Venus Davis." Her eyes met mine again. "She was the reason I chose Aphrodite as my new name. We were best friends and we thought it was cool." Her eyes were filled with sadness. "I've made myself remember Venus, and I fig¬ured you'd want to remember Stevie Rae.”
"I do. I will. Thanks.”
"You should go. It won't be good for either of us if anyone knows you've been here talking to me," Aphrodite said.
I realized that she was probably right, and turned for the door. Her voice stopped me.
"She makes you think she's good, but she's not. Everything that's light isn't good, and everything that's darkness isn't always bad.”
Darkness does not always equate to evil, just as light does not al¬ways bring good. The words that Nyx had said to me the day I was Marked were mirrored in Aphrodite's warning.
"In other words, be careful around Neferet and don't trust her," I said.
"Yeah, but I never said that.”
"Said what? We're not even having this conversation." I shut the door behind me and hurried to my room where I washed my face and brushed my teeth, pulled on some shoes, and then re¬turned to the living room.
"Ready?" Erik asked.
"We'll come, too," Damien said, motioning to include the Twins, Jack, and Drew.
I started to tell them no, but I couldn't make the word come out. The truth was that I was glad they were here, glad they obvi¬ously felt the need to join forces around me and protect me. I'd worried for a really long time that my extra powers and my weird Goddess-chosen Mark would brand me such a freak that I wouldn't fit in, wouldn't have any friends. But the opposite seemed to be happening.
"Okay, let's go." We headed for the door. I wasn't entirely sure what I was going to say to Neferet. All I knew was that I couldn't continue to keep my mouth shut, and that I had a terrible feeling my "dream" had really been a vision, and that there was more to the "spirits" I'd been seeing than ghosts. Most of all, I was afraid they'd taken Heath. What that said about what Stevie Rae had be¬come chilled me to my core, but it didn't change the fact that Heath was missing, and that I think I knew who had taken him (if not what).
We hadn't quite made it to the door when it opened and Nef¬eret glided into the room on a tide of snow-scented air. She was followed by Detective Marx and Detective Martin. They had blue down jackets on that were zipped to their chins. Their hats were covered with snow and their noses were red. Neferet, as usual, looked perfectly poised, perfectly groomed, perfectly in control.
"Ah, Zoey, good. This saves me from having to look for you. The two detectives have some rather bad news, and they'd also like to speak with you for a moment.”
I didn't spare a glance for Neferet, and I could feel her stiffen¬ing as I responded directly to the detectives. "I already heard on the news that Heath's missing. If there's any way I can help, I will.”
"Could we use the library again?" Detective Marx asked. "Of course," Neferet said smoothly.
I started to follow Neferet and the detectives from the room, but paused to look back at Erik.
"We'll be here,” he said.
"All of us," Damien said.
I nodded. Feeling better, I went to the library. I'd hardly entered the room when Detective Martin started questioning me.
"Zoey, can you account for your whereabouts between six thirty and eight thirty this morning?”
I nodded. "I was upstairs in my room. Around that time I was talking on the phone to my grandma, and then Heath and I text messaged each other back and forth a few times." I reached into my jeans pocket and pulled out my cell phone. "I haven't even deleted the messages. You can see them if you want.”
"You don't have to give him your phone, Zoey,” Neferet said. I made myself smile at her.
"That's okay. I don't mind.”
Detective Martin took my phone and started going through the text message files, copying onto a little pad the messages. "Did you see Heath this morning?" Detective Marx asked. "No. He asked if he could come see me, but I told him no."
"This says that you were planning on seeing him Friday,” Detective Martin said.
I could feel Neferet's sharp eyes on me. I drew a deep breath. The only way I could do this would be to stick as close to the truth as I was able.
"Yeah, I was going to go out with him after the game Friday."
"Zoey, you know it is strictly against school rules to continue to date humans from your old life." I noticed, as if for the first time, the disgust that filled her voice when she said humans.
"I know. I'm sorry." Again, I told the truth, only omitting a bloodsucking, Imprinting detail here and an I-don't-trust-you-anymore detail there. "It's just that Heath and I had so much his¬tory between us that it was really hard to totally stop talking to him, even though I knew I had to. I thought it would be easier if we met and I told him to his face, once and for all, why we couldn't see each other. I would have told you, but I wanted to handle it on my own.”
"So, you didn't see him this morning?" Detective Marx re¬peated.
"No. After we were done text messaging I went to bed.”
"Can anyone substantiate that you were in your room sleeping at that time?" Detective Martin asked, handing me back my phone.
Neferet's voice was ice. "Gentlemen, I already explained to you the terrible loss Zoey experienced just yesterday. Her roommate died. So, how she could have anyone substantiate her where¬abouts at—”
"Um, excuse me, Neferet, but actually I wasn't sleeping alone. My friends Shaunee and Erin didn't want me to be by myself, so they came to my room and slept with me." I left Damien out. No point getting the kid in trouble.
"Oh, that was very kind of them," Neferet said gently, switch¬ing in one breath from scary vampyre to concerned mother. I tried not to think of how not fooled I was by her.
"Do you have any idea where Heath might be?" I asked Detec¬tive Marx (I still liked him better of the two).
"No. His truck was found not far from the school wall, but the snow is falling so fast that any tracks he might have made have been completely covered.”
"Well, I should think that instead of wasting your time ques¬tioning my fledgling, the police would be spending time search¬ing the gutters for the teenager," Neferet said in an offhand tone that made me want to scream.
"Ma'am?" Marx said.
"It seems clear to me what happened. The boy was trying to see Zoey, again. It was only last month that he and that girlfriend of his climbed our wall saying they were going to break her out of the school." Neferet waved her hand dismissively. "He was drunk and high then, he was probably drunk and high this morning, too. The snow was too much for him and he's probably fallen into a gutter somewhere. Isn't that where drunks usually end up?”
"Ma'am, he's a teenager, not a drunk. And his parents and friends say he hasn't had a drink in a month.”
Neferet's soft laugh made it obvious how much she didn't be¬lieve him. Surprising me, Marx ignored her and studied me care¬fully. "How about it, Zoey? You two dated for a couple of years, right? Can you think of where he might have gone?”
"Not out this way. If his truck was missing off Oak Grove Road in BA I could tell you where the keg party might be.” I didn't mean it as a joke, especially after Neferet's mean cracks about Heath, but the detective seemed to be trying not to smile, which suddenly made him appear kind, and even approachable. Before I could change my mind, I blurted, "But I had a weird dream this morning that might not actually have been a dream but could have been some kind of vision about Heath.”
Into the stunned silence Neferet's voice sounded clipped and harsh. "Zoey, you have never before manifested an affinity for prophecy or visions.”
"I know." Purposefully I made myself sound unsure and even a little scared (the scared part wasn't exactly pretense). "But it's just too weird that I dreamed that Heath was over by the east wall, and that he was grabbed there.”
"What grabbed him, Zoey?" Detective Marx's voice was ur¬gent. He was definitely taking me seriously.
"I don't know." Which definitely wasn't a lie. "I do know they weren't fledglings or vampyres. In my dream four cloaked figures dragged him away.”
"Did you see where they went?”
"No, I woke up screaming for Heath." I didn't have to fake the tears that filled my eyes. "Maybe you should search everything around the school. Something's out there, and something's taking kids, but it's not us.”
"Of course it's not us." Neferet came over to me and put her arm around me, patting my shoulder and making soft mom sounds. "Gentlemen, I think Zoey's had more than enough up-setting for one day. Why don't I introduce you to Shaunee and Erin, who, I'm sure, will collaborate her alibi.”
Alibi. The word sounded chilling.
"If you remember anything else, or have any other odd dreams, please don't hesitate to contact me, anytime day or night," Detec¬tive Marx said.
This was the second time he'd given me his card—he certainly was persistent. I took his card from him and thanked him. Then as Neferet led him from the room Detective Marx hesitated and walked back to me.
"My twin sister was Marked and Changed fifteen years ago," he said softly. "She and I are still close, even though she was supposed to forget her human family. So when I say you can call me anytime, and tell me anything, you can believe me. You can also trust me.”
"Detective Marx?" Neferet stood in the doorway.
"Just thanking Zoey again, and telling her how sorry I am about her roommate," he said smoothly as he strode from the room.
I stayed where I was, trying to collect my thoughts. Marx's sis¬ter was a vampyre? Well, that really wasn't so bizarre. What was bizarre is that he still loved her. Maybe I could trust him.
The door clicked shut and I jerked in surprise. Neferet was standing with her back to it, watching me carefully.
"Did you Imprint with Heath?”
I had an instant of cold, white panic. She was going to be able to read me. I'd been fooling myself. There was no way I was any kind of a match for this High Priestess. Then I felt the brush of a gentle, impossible breeze … the warmth of an invisible fire .. . the freshness of a spring rain … the green sweetness of a fertile meadow ... and the powerful infilling of elemental strength flowing into my spirit. With new confidence I met Neferet's eyes.
"But you said I didn't. You told me before that what happened between him and me on the wall wasn't enough to Imprint." I made sure my voice sounded confused and upset.
Her shoulders relaxed almost imperceptibly. "I don't think you Imprinted with him then. So, you're saying you haven't been with him since? You haven't fed from him again?”
"Again!" I let myself sound as shocked as I always felt at the disturbing, yet seductive thought of feeding on Heath. "But I didn't really feed on him then, did I?”
"No, no, of course not," Neferet reassured me. "What you did was very minor, very minor indeed. It's just that your dream made me wonder if you'd been with your boyfriend again.”
"Ex-boyfriend," I said almost automatically. "No. But he's been texting and calling me a bunch lately, so I thought it would be best if I met him and tried to make him understand, once and for all, that we can't see each other anymore. I'm sorry. I should have told you, but I really did want to solve it myself. I mean, I got myself into the mess. I should be able to handle getting myself out of it.”
"Well, I do commend your sense of responsibility, but I don't think it was wise to make the detectives believe your dream might have been a vision.”
"It just seemed so real," I said.
"I'm sure it did. Zoey, did you take the medicine I asked you to drink last night?”
"You mean that milky stuff? Yeah, Shaunee gave it to me." And she had, but I'd poured the crap down the sink.
Neferet looked even more relaxed. "Good. If you keep having disturbing dreams, come to me and I'll give you a stronger mix¬ture. That should have kept the nightmares from you, but clearly I underestimated the dosage you required.”
The dosage wasn't all she'd underestimated.
I smiled. "Thanks, Neferet. I appreciate that.”
"Well, you should return to your friends, now. They are quite protective of you, and I'm sure they're worried.”
I nodded and walked with her back to the living room, careful not to show my disgust when she hugged me in front of everyone and said good-bye with the warmth of a mom. Actually, she was exactly like a mom, specifically my mom, Linda Heffer. The woman who had betrayed me for a man and cared more about herself and appearances than she cared about me. The similari¬ties between Neferet and Linda were becoming clearer and clearer.


CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN


We resettled in our little group after they left, and didn't say much as the room got back to normal. I noticed no one changed the local station. The Star Wars DVD was forgotten, at least for tonight.
"Are you okay?" Erik finally asked softly. He put his arm back around me and I snuggled against him.
"Yeah, I think so.”
"Did the cops have any news about Heath?" Damien asked.
"Nothing more than what we already heard," I said. "Or if they do, they weren't telling me.”
"Is there anything we can do?" Shaunee asked.
I shook my head. "Let's just watch local TV and see what the ten o'clock news says.”
They mumbled okays and everyone settled in to watch the Will and Grace rerun marathon while we waited for the news. I stared at the TV, and thought about Heath. Did I have a bad feeling about him? Definitely. But was it the same bad feeling I'd had about Chris Ford and Brad Higeons? No, I didn't think so. I didn't know how to explain it. My gut said Heath was in danger, but it wasn't saying that he was dead. Yet.
The more I thought about Heath, the more restless I became. By the time the late news came on I could hardly sit through the stories on the unexpected blizzard that had caused a white-out in Tulsa and the surrounding area. I fidgeted while we watched the shots of downtown and the expressways, eerily empty and look¬ing post-meteor-hit-or-nuclear-war-like.
There was nothing new on Heath except a grim report about how the weather was hampering search efforts.
"I have to go.” The words were out of my mouth and I was standing before my mind could remind me that I didn't have a clue where I was going or how I was going to get there.
"Go where, Z?" Erik asked.
My mind flailed around and landed on one thing—one little island of contentment in a world that had turned into stress and confusion and madness.
"I'm going to the stables." Erik's look was as blank as everyone else's. "Lenobia said that I could brush Persephone anytime I wanted to." I moved my shoulders. "Brushing her makes me feel calm, and right now I could use some calm.”
"Well, okay. I like horses. Let's go groom Persephone," Erik said.
"I need to be alone.” The words sounded so much harsher than I'd meant them that I sat back down next to him and slid my hand in his. "I'm sorry. It's just that I need time to think, and that's something I have to do alone.”
His blue eyes looked sad, but he gave me a little smile. "How about I walk you to the stable, and then come back here and keep an eye on the news for you till you get through thinking?”
"I'd like that.”
I hated the worried looks on my friends' faces, but I couldn't do much to reassure them. Erik and I didn't bother with coats. The stable wasn't far. The cold wouldn't get a chance to bother us.
"This snow is awesome," Erik said after we'd walked a little way down the sidewalk. Someone had attempted to plow it because it was way less deep on the sidewalk than the surrounding grounds, but the snow was coming down so steadily that the plows couldn't keep up with it and it was already up to midcalf on us.
"I kinda remember it snowing like this when I was six or seven. It was during Christmas break and it sucked that we didn't miss any school.”
Erik grunted a vague, guylike response, and then we walked on in silence. Usually, our silences weren't awkward, but this one felt weird. I didn't know what to say—how to make it better.
Erik cleared his throat. "You still care about him, don't you? I mean, as more than just an ex-boyfriend.”
"Yes." Erik deserved the truth, and I was totally sick of lies.
We'd come to the stable door, and stopped in the halo of a yel¬low gaslight. The entryway shielded us from the worst of the snow, so it seemed like we were standing in a bubble inside a snow globe.
"And what about me?" Erik asked.
I looked up at him. "I care about you, too. Erik, I wish I could fix this, make all of the bad stuff go away, but I can't. And I'm not going to lie to you about Heath. I think I've Imprinted him.”
I saw the surprise in Erik's eyes. "From just that one time on the wall? Z, I was there, and you hardly tasted any of his blood at all. He just doesn't want to lose you, that's why he's so obsessed. Not that I blame him," he added with a wry smile.
"I saw him again.”
"Huh?”
"It was just a couple days ago. I couldn't sleep, so I went to the Starbucks at Utica Square by myself. He was there putting up posters about Brad. I hadn't meant to see him, and if I'd known he was going to be there I wouldn't have gone. I promise you that, Erik.”
"But you did see him.”
I nodded.
"And you fed from him?”
"It—it just kinda happened. I tried not to, but he cut himself. On purpose. And I couldn't stop myself." I kept my gaze squarely on his, asking him with my eyes to understand. Now that I was actually confronted with the very likely possibility that Erik and I were going to break up, I realized how much I didn't want that to happen, which definitely didn't help my confusion or my stress level because I did still care about Heath. "I'm sorry, Erik. I didn't ask for it to happen, but it did, and now there's this thing between Heath and me, and I'm not sure what I'm going to do about it.”
He sighed deeply and brushed some snow off my hair. "Okay, well, there's a thing between you and me, too. And someday, if we make it through this damn Change, we'll be alike. I won't turn into a wrinkled old man and die decades before you will. Being with me won't be something other vampyres will whisper about, and humans will hate you for. It'll be normal. It'll be right." Then his hand was behind my neck and he was pulling me to him. He kissed me hard. He tasted cold and sweet. My arms went up around his shoulders and I kissed him back. At first I just wanted to make the hurt I was causing him go away. Then our kiss deep¬ened, and we pressed our bodies together. I wasn't overwhelmed with blinding bloodlust for him, like what happened when I was with Heath, but I liked the way kissing Erik made me feel, all kinda warm and light-headed. Hell, the bottom line was that I liked him. A lot. Plus, he had a point. He and I would be right to¬gether. Heath and I would not.
The kiss ended with both of us breathing hard. I cupped Erik's cheek in my hand. "I really am sorry.”
Erik turned his head and kissed my palm. "We'll figure this out."
"I hope so," I whispered, more to myself than him. Then I stepped away from him and put my hand on the old iron doorknob. "Thanks for walking me here. I don't know when I'll be back. You shouldn't wait for me.” I started to open the door.
"Z, if you really did Imprint with Heath you might be able to find him," Erik said. I paused and turned back to Erik. He looked strained and unhappy, but he didn't hesitate to explain. "While you're brushing the mare, think about Heath. Call to him. If he's able to, he'll come to you. If he's not and your Imprint is strong enough, you may be able to get an idea of where he is.”
"Thank you, Erik.”
He smiled, but he didn't look happy. "Later, Z." He walked away and the snow swallowed him.
The warm hay smell mixed with clean, dry horse contrasted dramatically with the cold, snowy outside. The stables were dimly lit by only a couple of soft gaslights. The horses were making sleepy, chewing noises. Some of them were blowing through their noses, which sounded a little like snoring. I looked around for Lenobia while I brushed the snow from my shirt and hair and started toward the tack room, but it was pretty obvious that except for the horses I was alone.
Good. I needed to think, and not explain what I was doing here in the middle of a snowstorm in the middle of the night.
Okay, I'd told Erik the truth about Heath and he hadn't broken up with me. Of course, depending on what happened with Heath, he might still dump me. How did those ho-ish girls go out with a dozen or so guys at the same time? Two was exhausting. Memory of Loren's sexy smile and incredible voice flashed through my guilt-filled mind. I chewed my lip as I grabbed a curry brush and a mane comb. Actually, I'd been kinda sorta seeing three guys, which was utterly insane. I decided then and there that I had enough problems without adding the weird flirting that may or may not be going on between Loren and me into the mix. Just thinking about Erik finding out that I'd shown all that skin to Loren ... I shuddered. It made me want to dump myself. From now on I'd avoid Loren, and if I couldn't avoid him I'd treat him like any other teacher, which meant no flirting. Now if I could just figure out what to do with Erik and Heath.
I opened Persephone's stall and told her what a pretty, sweet girl she was as she gave me a sleepily surprised snort and lipped my face after I kissed her soft nose. She sighed and rested on three feet when I started brushing her.
Okay, no way I could figure out anything about dating Erik and Heath until Heath was safe. (I refused to consider that he might never be safe—might never be found alive.) I began to quiet the babble and clutter and confusion that was my mind. Truthfully, I hadn't needed Erik to tell me that I might be able to find Heath. That possibility was one of the many things that had been making me so restless all night. The cowardly truth was that I was afraid—afraid of what I might find and what I might not find, and afraid I wouldn't be strong enough to deal with either. Stevie Rae's death had left me broken, and I wasn't sure I was up to saving anybody.
But it wasn't like I had any choice.
So ... thinking of Heath ... I started by remembering what a cute kid he'd been in grade school. In third grade his hair had been lots blonder than it was now, and he'd had like a zillion cowlicks. It used to stand up all over his head like duck fluff. Third grade was when he'd first told me that he loved me and was gonna someday marry me. I'd been in second grade, and I so didn't take him seriously. I mean, even though I was almost two years younger I'd been a foot taller. He was cute, but he was also a boy, which meant he was annoying.
Okay, so he could still be annoying, but he'd grown up and filled out. Somewhere between third and eleventh grade I'd started taking him seriously. I remembered back to the first time he'd really kissed me, and the fluttery, excited way it made me feel. I remembered how sweet he was, and how he could make me feel beautiful, even when I had a terrible cold and my nose was bright red. And how he was an old-fashioned gentleman. Heath had been opening doors and carrying books for me since he was nine.
Then I thought about the last time I'd seen him. He'd been so sure that we belonged together and so unafraid of me that he'd cut himself and offered his blood to me. I closed my eyes and leaned against Persephone's soft flank, thinking of Heath and let¬ting the memories of him drift past my closed lids like a movie screen. Then the images of our past changed and I got a vague sense of darkness and dampness and cold—and fear slammed into my gut. I gasped, keeping my eyes tightly closed. I wanted to focus in on him, like I had that one other time when somehow I'd seen him in his bedroom, but this connection between us was different. It was less clear, more filled with dark emotions than playful desire. I concentrated harder, and did what Erik had said to do. I called Heath.
Aloud, as well as with everything inside of me, I said, "Heath, come to me. I'm calling you, Heath. I want you to come to me now. Wherever you are, get out of there and come to me!”
Nothing. There was no answer. No response. No sense of any¬thing more than damp, cold fear. I called again. "Heath! Come to me!" This time I felt a surge of frustration, followed by despair. But I didn't get an image of him. I knew he couldn't come to me, but I didn't know where he was.
Why had I been able to see him so much more easily before? How had I done it? I'd been thinking about Heath then, just like I had been now. I'd been thinking about .. .
What had I been thinking about? Then I felt my cheeks get hot as I realized what had drawn me to him before. I hadn't been thinking about how cute a kid he'd been or how pretty he made me feel. I'd been thinking about drinking his blood ... feeding from him ... and the red-hot bloodlust that caused.
Okay, well then .. .
I drew a deep breath and thought about Heath's blood. It tasted like liquid desire, hot and thick and electric. It made my body burst alive in places that had only begun to rouse before. And those places were starving. I wanted to drink Heath's sweet blood while he satisfied my yearning for his touch, his body, his taste—
The disjointed image I had of darkness cleared with an abrupt¬ness that was shocking. It was still dark, but that was no problem for my night vision. At first I didn't understand what I was seeing. The room was weird. It was more like a little alcove in a cave or a tunnel than a room. The walls were round and damp. There was some light, but it was coming from a dim, smoky lantern that hung from a rusted hook. Everything else was complete dark¬ness. What I thought at first was a pile of dirty clothes moved and moaned. This time it wasn't just a threadlike feeler I was looking through. It was actually as if I was floating, and when I recog¬nized the moan my hovering body drifted over to him.
He was curled up on a stained mattress. His hands and ankles were duct taped together and he was bleeding from several slashes on his neck and arms.
"Heath!" My voice wasn't audible, but his head snapped up as if I'd just yelled at him.
"Zoey? Is that you?" And then his eyes widened and he sat straight up, looking wildly around. "Get out of here, Zoey! They're crazy. They'll kill you like they did Chris and Brad." And he started to struggle, trying desperately to break the tape, even though all that was happening was he was making his already raw wrists bleed.
"Heath, stop! It's okay—I'm okay. I'm not here, not really." He stopped struggling and squinted around him like he was trying to see me.
"But I can hear you.”
"Inside your head. That's where you hear me, Heath. It's be¬cause we've Imprinted and now we're linked.”
Unexpectedly, Heath grinned. "That's cool, Zo.”
I gave a mental eye roll. "Okay, Heath, focus. Where are you?"
"You won't believe this, Zo, but I'm under Tulsa.”
"What does that mean, Heath?”
"Remember in Shaddox's History class? He told us about the tunnels that were dug under Tulsa in the twenties because of the un-alcohol thing.”
"Prohibition," I said.
"Yeah, that. I'm in one of them.”
I didn't know what to say for a second. I vaguely remembered learning about the tunnels in History class, and was astounded that Heath—not exactly an excellent student—would remember at all.
As if he understood my hesitation he grinned and said, "It was about sneaking booze. I thought it was cool.”
After another mental eye roll I said, "Just tell me how to get there, Heath.”
He shook his head and a way too familiar stubborn look set¬tled over his face. "No way. They'll kill you. Go tell the cops and have them send a SWAT team or something.”
That was exactly what I wanted to do. I wanted to get Detec¬tive Marx's card out of my pocket, call him, and have him save the day.
Unfortunately, I was afraid I couldn't.
"Who is the `they'?" I asked.
"Huh?”
"The people who took you? Who are they?”
"They're not people, and they're not vampyres even though they drink blood, but they're not like you, Zo. They're—" he broke off, shuddering. "They're something else. Something wrong.”
"Have they been drinking your blood?" The thought made me furious with such an intensity that I was having a hard time con¬trolling my emotions. I wanted to rage at someone and shriek, He belongs to me! I forced myself to take several deep breaths while he answered me.
"Yeah, they have." Heath grimaced. "But they complain a lot about it. They say my blood doesn't taste right. I think that's the main reason I'm still alive.” Then he swallowed hard and his face got a shade paler. "It's not like when you drink my blood, Zo. That feels good. What they do is—is disgusting. They're disgusting.”
"How many of them are there?" I said through gritted teeth.
"I'm not really sure. It's so dark down here and they always come in weird groups, all smushed together like they're scared of being alone. Well, except for three of them. One's named Elliott, one's called Venus—how weird is that—and the other one is called Stevie Rae.”
My stomach knotted. "Does Stevie Rae have short, curly blond hair?”
"Yeah. She's the one that's in charge.”
Heath had just substantiated my fears. I couldn't call in the police.
"Okay, Heath. I'm going to get you out of there. Tell me how to find your tunnel.”
"Are you going to get the cops?”
"Yes," I lied.
"Nope. You're lying.”
"I am not!”
"Zo, I can tell you're lying. I can feel it. It's that link thing.” He grinned.
"Heath. I can't get the police.”
"Then I'm not telling you where I am.”
Echoing from down one end of the tunnel came a skittering that reminded me of the sound the science experiment rats made as they scurried through the mazes we made in AP Bio. Heath's grin was gone, as was the color that had returned to his cheeks while we talked.
"Heath, we don't have time for this." He started to shake his head no. "Listen to me! I have special powers. Those—" I hesi¬tated, not sure what to call the group of creatures that somehow included my dead best friend. "Those things aren't going to be able to hurt me.”
Heath didn't say anything, but he didn't look convinced and the ratlike sounds were getting louder.
"You said you can tell I'm lying because of our link. It has to go both ways. You've got to be able to tell when what I say is the truth." He looked like he was waffling, so I added, "Think hard. You said you remembered some of that night you found me at Philbrook. I saved you that night, Heath. Not the cops. Not an adult vamp. I saved you, and I can do it again." I was glad I sounded a lot more certain than I felt. "Tell me where you are.”
He thought for a while, and I was getting ready to yell at him (again) when he finally said, "You know where the old depot is downtown?”
"Yeah, you can see it from the Performing Arts Center where we went to see Phantom for my birthday last year, right?”
"Yeah. They took me to the basement of it. They got in through something that looks like a barred door. It's old and rusted, but it lifts right up. The tunnel starts from the drainage grates down there.”
"Good, I'll—”
"Wait, that's not all. There are lots of tunnels. They're more like caves. It's not cool like I thought they'd be from History class. They're dark and wet and disgusting. Pick the one on your right, and then keep turning to your right. I'm at the end of one of those.”
"Okay. I'll be there as soon as I can.”
"Be careful, Zo.”
"I will. You be safe.”
"I'll try." Hissing was added to the scurrying noises. "But you should probably hurry up.”


CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT


I opened up my eyes and I was back in the stall with Persephone. I was breathing hard and sweating, and the mare was nuzzling me and making soft, worried, nickering noises. My hands were shak¬ing as I caressed her head and rubbed her jaw, telling her that it was going to be okay, even though I was pretty sure it wasn't.
The old downtown depot was six or seven miles away in a dark, unused part of town under a big, scary bridge that linked one part of the city to the other. It used to be majorly busy, with freight and passenger trains coming and going almost nonstop. But in the past couple decades all of the passenger traffic had stopped (I knew because my grandma had wanted to take me on a train trip for my thirteenth birthday, and we'd had to drive to Oklahoma City to catch the train there) and the freight train business had definitely dwindled. Under normal circumstances, it would only take a few minutes to zip from the House of Night to the depot.
Tonight I was not dealing with normal circumstances.
The ten o'clock news had said the roads were impassable, and that had been—I checked my watch and blinked in surprise—a couple hours ago. I couldn't drive there. I suppose I could walk, but the urgency I felt was telling me that wasn't good enough.
"Take the horse.”
Persephone and I both shied at the sound of Aphrodite's voice. She was leaning against the stall door looking pale and grim. "You look like crap," I said.
She almost smiled. "Visions suck.”
"Did you see Heath?" My stomach clenched again. Aphrodite didn't have visions of happiness and light. She saw death and destruction. Always.
"Yeah.”
"And?”
"And if you don't get on that horse and get your ass to wher¬ever he is, Heath is going to die." She paused, meeting my eyes. "That is, unless you don't believe me.”
"I believe you," I said without hesitation.
"Then get the hell out of here.”
She came into the stall and handed me a bridle I hadn't no¬ticed she'd been holding. While I put it on Persephone, Aphrodite disappeared to come back with a saddle and saddle blanket. Silently, we put the tack on Persephone, who seemed to sense our intensity because she held completely still. When she was ready I led her from the stall.
"Call your friends first,” Aphrodite said.
"Huh?”
"You can't beat those things on your own.”
"But how are they going to go with me?" My stomach hurt, I was so scared my hands were shaking, and I was having trouble understanding what the hell Aphrodite was saying.
"They can't go with you, but they can still help you.”
"Aphrodite, I don't have time for riddles. What the hell do you mean?”
"Shit, I don't know!" She looked as frustrated as I felt. "I just know that they can help you.”
I flipped open my cell phone and, following my gut and breathing a silent prayer for guidance from Nyx, punched Shaunee's number. She answered on the first ring.
"What's up, Zoey?”
"I need you and Erin and Damien to go somewhere together and call to your elements, like you did for Stevie Rae.”
"No problem. Are you gonna meet us?”
"No. I'm going to get Heath." To her credit, Shaunee hesitated for only a second or two, then said, "Okay. What can we do?”
"Just be together, manifest your elements, and think about me." I was getting really good at sounding calm even when I thought my head might explode.
"Zoey, be careful.”
"I will. Don't worry." Yeah, I'd worry enough for both of us.
"Erik isn't going to like this.”
"I know. Tell him ... tell him … that I'll, uh, talk to him when I get back." I had not a clue about what else to say.
"Okay, I'll tell him.”
"Thanks, Shaunee. I'll see ya," I said and closed the phone. Then I faced Aphrodite. "What are those creatures?”
"I don't know.”
"But you saw them in your vision?”
"Today was the second vision I had about them, though. The first time I saw the other two guys being killed by them." Aphrodite brushed a thick strand of blond hair from her face.
Instantly I was pissed. "And you didn't say anything about it because they're just human teenagers and not worth your time to save?”
Aphrodite's eyes blazed with anger. "I told Neferet. I told her everything—about the human kids—about those things—every¬thing. That's when she started saying my visions were false.”
I knew she was telling the truth, just as surely as I had begun to know that there was something dark about Neferet.
"Sorry," I said shortly. "I didn't know.”
"Whatever,” she said. "You need to get out of here or your boyfriend is going to die.”
"Ex-boyfriend," I said.
"Again I say whatever. Here, I'll give you a leg up.”
I let her hoist me into the saddle.
"Take this with you." Aphrodite handed me a thick, plaid horse blanket. Before I could protest she said, "It's not for you. He'll need it.”
I wrapped the blanket around me, taking comfort in its earthy, horsey smell. I followed as Aphrodite went to the rear doors of the stable and slid them apart. Frigid air and snow swirled in little mini-tornadoes into the barn, making me shiver, although it was more from nerves and apprehension than from the cold.
"Stevie Rae's one of them," Aphrodite said.
I looked down at her, but she was staring out into the night. "I know,” I said.
"She's not who she used to be.”
"I know," I repeated, even though saying the words aloud hurt my heart. "Thanks for this, Aphrodite.”
She did look up at me then and her expression was flat and un¬readable. "Don't start acting like we're friends or anything," she said.
"Wouldn't think of it," I said.
"I mean, we're not friends.”
"Nope, definitely not." I was pretty sure I saw her trying not to smile.
"As long as we have that straight," Aphrodite said. "Oh," she added. "Remember to pull silence and darkness around yourself so humans will have a hard time seeing you on the way there. You don't have time to be stopped.”
"Will do. Thanks for reminding me," I said.
"Okay, well, good luck," Aphrodite said.
I gripped the reins, took a deep breath, and then squeezed my thighs together, clucking at Persephone to go.
I entered a world that was weirdly made of white darkness. Whiteout was definitely the right description of it. The snow had changed from big, friendly flakes to sharp little razorlike pieces of snow-ice. The wind was steady, making the snow slant sideways. I pulled the blanket over my head so that I was partially protected from the snow and leaned forward, kicking Persephone into a quick trot. Hurry! My mind was yelling at me. Heath needs you!
I cut across the parking lot and rear part of the school grounds. The few cars still at school were covered with snow, and the flick¬ering gaslights that shined crazily off of their backs made them look like June bugs on a screen door. I pressed the inside button for the gate to open. It tried to swing wide, but a snowdrift caught it and Persephone and I had barely enough room to squeeze through. I turned her to the right and stood for a moment under the cover of the oaks that framed the school grounds.
"We're silent … ghosts ... no one can see us. No one can hear us." I murmured against the whining wind, and was shocked when the area around me stilled. With a sudden thought I contin¬ued. "Wind, be calm near me. Fire, warm my way. Water, still the snow in my path. Earth, shelter me when you can. And spirit, help me not to give in to my fear." The words were barely out of my mouth when I saw a little flash of energy around me. Perse¬phone snorted and she skittered a little to the side. And as she moved it was like a little bubble of serenity moved with her. Yes, it was still blizzarding and the night was still cold and frighten¬ingly alien, but I was filled with calm and surrounded by the protection of the elements. I bowed my head and whispered, "Thank you, Nyx, for the great gifts you have given me." Silently I added that I hoped I deserved them.
"Let's get Heath," I told Persephone. She swung into her ground-eating canter easily and I was amazed to see that the snow and ice seemed to fly back from her hooves as we magically blasted through the night under the watchful eye of the Goddess who was, herself, Night personified.
My journey was surprisingly fast. We cantered down Utica Street until we came to the exit to the Broken Arrow Expressway. Barricades were up with flashing lights warning that the express¬way was closed. I felt myself smiling as I guided Persephone neatly around the barricades onto the utterly deserted highway. Then I gave the mare her head and she galloped downtown. I clung to her, leaning low over her neck. With the blanket stream¬ing out behind us I imagined that I looked like the heroine in an old historical romance novel, and wished I was galloping to a naughty keg party with someone my kingly father had decided was inappropriate instead of heading into hell.
I steered Persephone to the exit that would take us to the Per¬forming Arts Center and the old depot beyond it. I hadn't seen anyone between midtown and the highway, but now I saw occa¬sional shufflings of street people around the bus station and no¬ticed an occasional cop car here and there. We're silent... ghosts … no one can see us. No one can hear us. I kept the prayer going in my mind. No one so much as glanced in our direction. It really was as if I'd turned into a ghost, which wasn't a thought I found very comforting.
I slowed Persephone as we passed the Performing Arts Center and trotted over the wide bridge that spanned the confusing side-by-side meshing of old railroad tracks. When we reached the center of the bridge I stopped Persephone and stared down at the abandoned depot building that sat below us dark and silent. Thanks to Mrs. Brown, my ex-art teacher at South Intermediate High School, I knew it used to be a beautiful art deco building that had been abandoned and eventually looted when the trains stopped run¬ning. Now it looked like something that should be in the Gotham City of the Batman Dark Night comics. (Yes, I know. I'm a dork.) It had those huge arched windows that reminded me of teeth be¬tween two towers that looked like perfectly creepy haunted castles.
"And we have to go down there," I told Persephone. She was breathing hard from our ride, but she didn't seem particularly worried, which I hoped was a good sign. You know, animals be¬ing able to sense bad stuff and all.
We finished crossing the bridge and I found the broken little side road that led down to the depot. The track level was dark. Really dark. That shouldn't have bothered me, what with my ex¬cellent fledgling night vision, but it did. The truth was that I was totally creeped out as Persephone walked to the building and I began slowly circling it, looking for the basement entrance Heath had described.
It didn't take long to find the rusted iron grill that appeared to be an impassable barrier. I didn't let myself hesitate and think about how completely afraid I was. I got off Persephone and led her over to the covered entryway so she'd be out of the wind and protected from most of the snow. I looped her reins around a metal thingie, laid the extra blanket over her back, and spent as long as I could patting her and telling her what a brave, sweet girl she was and that I'd be back real soon. I was working toward that self-fulfilling prophecy thing, and hoped if I kept saying it, it would be true. Walking away from Persephone was hard. I guess I hadn't realized how comforting her presence had been. I could have used some of that comfort as I stood in front of the iron grill and tried to squint into the darkness beyond.
I couldn't see anything except the indistinct shape of a huge dark room. The basement of the creepy unfortunately-not-abandoned building. Great. Heath is down there, I reminded myself, grabbed the edge of the grill, and pulled. It opened easily, which I took to be evidence of how often it must be used. Again, great.
The basement was not as awful as I'd imagined it would be. Stripes of weak light filtered between the barred, ground-level win¬dows and I could clearly see that homeless people must have been using the room. Actually, there was a lot of stuff left from them: big boxes, dirty blankets, even a shopping cart (Who knows how they managed to get that down there?). But, weirdly, not one homeless person was present. It was like a homeless ghost town, which was doubly weird when I considered the weather. Wouldn't tonight be the perfect night to retreat to the comparative warmth and shelter of this basement, versus trying to find someplace warm and dry on the streets or smush into the Y? And it had been snowing for days. So, realistically, this room should be packed with the people who had brought the boxes and stuff down here to begin with.
Of course if scary undead creatures had been using the base¬ment the desertion of the homeless folks made much more sense.
Don't think about it. Find the drainage grate and then find Heath.
The grate wasn't hard to find. I just headed for the darkest, nastiest corner of the room, and there was a metal grate on the floor. Yep. Right in the corner. On the floor. Never, in a gazillion years would I have ever even considered touching the disgusting thing, let along lifting it and going down there.
Naturally, that's what I had to do.
The grate lifted as easily as the outside "barrier" had opened, telling me (again) that I wasn't the only person/fledgling/human/ creature who had come this way recently. There was an iron lad¬der thing that I had to climb down, probably about ten feet. Then I dropped to the floor of the tunnel. And that's exactly what it was—a big, damp sewer tunnel. Oh, and it was dark, too. Really dark. I stood there for a while letting my night vision accustom itself to the dense darkness, but I couldn't just stand there for very long. The need to find Heath was like an itch beneath my skin. It goaded me on.
"Keep to the right," I whispered. Then I shut up because even that little sound echoed around me. I turned to the right and started to walk as quickly as I was able.
Heath had been telling the truth. There were lots of tunnels. They split off over and over again, reminding me of worm holes burrowed into the ground. At first I saw more evidence that homeless people had been down here, too. But after a few right-hand turns, the boxes and scattered trash and blankets stopped. There was nothing but damp and dark. The tunnels had gone from being smooth and round and as civilized as I imagined well-made tunnels could be to absolute crap. The sides of the walls looked like they had been gouged out by very drunk Tolkien dwarfs (again, I am aware that I'm a dork). It was cold, too, but I didn't really feel it.
I kept to the right, hoping that Heath had known what he was talking about. I thought about stopping long enough to concen¬trate on his blood so that I could hook into our Imprint again, but the urgency I felt wouldn't let me stop. I. Had. To. Find. Heath.
I smelled them before I heard the hissing and rustling and actu¬ally saw them. It was that musty, old, wrong scent I'd noticed every time I'd seen one of them at the wall. I realized it was the smell of death, and then wondered how I didn't recognize it earlier.
Then the darkness that I'd become so accustomed to gave way to a faint, flickering light. I stopped to focus myself. You can do this, Z. You've been Chosen by your Goddess. You kicked vampyre ghost ass. This is something you can definitely handle.
I was still trying to "focus" (aka, talk myself into being brave) when Heath screamed. Then there was no more time for focusing or internal pep talks. I ran forward toward Heath's scream. Okay, I probably should explain that vampyres are stronger and faster than humans, and even though I'm still just a fledgling, I'm a very weird fledgling. So when I say I ran—I mean I seriously moved fast—fast and silent. I found them in what must have been seconds, but felt like hours. They were in the little alcove at the end of the crude tunnel. The lantern I'd noticed before was hanging from a rusty nail, throwing their shadows grotesquely against the crudely curved walls. They had formed a half circle around Heath. He was standing on the dirty mattress and his back was pressed to the wall. Somehow he'd gotten the duct tape off his ankles, but his wrists were still securely bound together. He had a new cut on his right arm and the scent of his blood was thick and seductive.
And that was my last goad. Heath belonged to me—despite my confusion about the whole blood issue, and despite my feel¬ings for Erik. Heath was mine and no one else was ever, ever go¬ing to feed from what was mine.
I burst through the circle of hissing creatures like I was a bowl¬ing ball and they were brainless pins, and moved to his side.
"Zo!" He looked deliriously happy for a split second, and then, just like a guy, he tried to push me behind him. "Watch out! Their teeth and claws are really sharp." He added in a whisper, "You re¬ally didn't bring the SWAT team?”
It was easy to keep him from pushing me anywhere. I mean, he's cute and all, but he is just a human. I patted his bound hands where he clutched my arm and smiled at him, and with one slash of my thumbnail I cut through the gray tape that held his wrists. His eyes widened as he pulled his hands apart.
I grinned at him. My fear was gone. Now I was just incredibly pissed. "What I brought is better than a SWAT team. Just stay be¬hind me and watch.”
I pushed Heath to the wall and stepped in front of him as I turned to face the closing circle of .. .
Eesh! They were the most disgusting things I'd ever seen. There were probably a dozen or so of them. Their faces were white and gaunt. Their eyes glowed a dirty red. They snarled and hissed at me and I saw that their teeth were pointed and their fingernails! Ugh! Their fingernails were long and yellow and dangerous-looking.
"It’sss just a fledgling," hissed one of them. "The Mark doesn't make her a vampyre. It makesssss her a freak.”
I looked at the speaker. "Elliott!”
"I wasss. I'm not the Elliott you knew anymore." Snakelike his head wove back and forth as he spoke. Then his glowing eyes flat¬tened and he curled his lip. "I'll ssshow you what I mean ...”
He started to move toward me with a feral, crouching stride. The other creatures stirred, gaining bravery from him.
"Watch out, Zo, they're coming for us," Heath said, trying to step around in front of me.
"No they're not," I said. I closed my eyes for just a second and centered myself, thinking of the power and warmth of flame—the way it can cleanse as well as destroy—and I thought of Shaunee. "Come to me, flame!" My palms started to feel hot. I opened my eyes and raised my hands, which were now glowing with a brilliant yellow flame.
"Stay back, Elliott! You were a pain in the ass when you were alive, and death hasn't changed anything." Elliott cringed back from the light I was producing. I took a step forward, ready to tell Heath to follow me so we could get the hell outta there, but her voice made me freeze.
"You're wrong, Zoey. Death has changed some things." The crowd of creatures parted to let Stevie Rae through.


CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE


The flame in my palms sputtered and faded as shock broke my concentration. "Stevie Rae!" I started to take a step toward her, but the truth of her appearance hit me and I felt my body go cold and still. She looked terrible—worse than she had in the dream vision I'd had. It wasn't so much her pale thinness and the awful wrongness of the smell that clung to her that made her appear so changed. It was her expression. In life, Stevie Rae had been the kindest person I'd ever known. But now, whatever she was—dead, undead, bizarrely resurrected—she was different. Her eyes were cruel and flat. Her face devoid of any emotion except one, and that one emotion was hatred.
"Stevie Rae, what happened to you?”
"I died." Her voice was only a twisted, malformed shadow of what it had once been. She still had her Okie twang, but the soft sweetness that had filled it was totally gone. She sounded like mean trailer trash.
"Are you a ghost?”
"A ghost?" Her laugh was a sneer. "No, I ain't no damn ghost.”
I swallowed and felt a dizzy wash of hope. "So you're alive?”
She curled her lip in a sarcastic sneer that looked so wrong on her face it made me physically sick. "You'd say I'm alive, but I'd say it's not that simple. Then again I'm not as simple as I used to be.”
Well, at least she hadn't hissed at me like that Elliott thing had. Stevie Rae is alive. I held tightly to that miracle, swallowed my fear and revulsion, and moving so quickly that she didn't have time to jerk away (or bite me or whatever), I grabbed her and, ig¬noring the horrid way she smelled, hugged her hard. "I'm so glad you're not dead!" I whispered to her.
It was like hugging a smelly piece of stone. She didn't jerk away from me. She didn't bite me. She didn't react at all, but the crea¬tures surrounding us did. I could hear them hissing and mutter¬ing. I let go of her and stepped back.
"Don't touch me again," she said.
"Stevie Rae, is there someplace we can go so we can talk? I need to get Heath home, but I can come back and meet you. Or maybe you could come back to the school with me?”
"You don't understand anything, do you?”
"I understand that something bad has happened to you, but you're still my best friend, so we can figure this out.”
"Zoey, you're not going anywhere.”
"Fine," I purposefully pretended to misunderstand her threat. "I guess we could talk here, but, well ..." I looked around at the grossly hissing creatures. "It's not very private, and it's also dis¬gusting down here.”
"Jusssst kill them!" Elliott snarled from behind Stevie Rae.
"Shut up, Elliott!" Stevie Rae and I snapped at him together. Her eyes met mine and I swear I saw a flash of something in them that was more than anger and cruelty.
"You know they can't live now that they've sssseen us," Elliott said. The other creatures stirred restlessly, making evil little noises of agreement.
Then a girl stepped out of the pack of creatures. She obviously used to be beautiful. Even now there was an eerie, surreal allure about her. She was tall and blond, and she moved more gracefully than the others. But when I looked into her red eyes I saw only meanness.
"If you can't do it, I will. I'll take the male first. I don't mind that his blood has been tainted by Imprint. It's still warm and alive,” she said, and she seemed to dance toward Heath.
I stepped in front of him, blocking her path. "Touch him and you die. Again," I said.
Stevie Rae interrupted her hissing laughter.
"Get back with the others, Venus. You don't strike until I tell you to.”
Venus. The name triggered my memory. "Venus Davis?" I said.
The pretty blonde narrowed her eyes at me. "How do you know me, fledgling?”
"She knows a lot of stuff," Heath said, stepping around me. He was using what I used to call his football player voice. He sounded tough and pissed and totally ready for a fight. "And I'm about sick of all of you fucked-up creatures.”
"Why is that speaking?" Stevie Rae spat.
I sighed and rolled my eyes. I agreed with Heath—I was totally sick of all of this scary weirdness. It was time we got out of there, and it was also time my best friend started acting like the person I'd glimpsed hiding in her eyes. "He isn't a that. He's Heath. Re¬member, Stevie Rae? My ex-boyfriend?”
"Zo. I am not your ex-boyfriend. I'm your boyfriend.”
"Heath. I told you before that this can't possibly work out be¬tween us.”
"Come on, Zo, we're Imprinted. That means it's you and me, baby!" He grinned at me as if we were in the middle of a prom in¬stead of in the middle of a group of undead creatures that wanted to eat us.
"That was an accident, and we're gonna have to talk about it, but this is definitely not the time.”
"Oh, Zo, you know you love me." Heath's grin didn't fade one bit.
"Heath, you are the most stubborn kid I've ever known." He winked at me and I couldn't help smiling back at him. "Fine. I love you.”
"What’sss happening …" the gross Elliott creature hissed. The rest of the horrid things that surrounded us moved restlessly, and Venus glided one step closer to Heath. I forced myself not to shiver or scream or whatever. Instead, a weird calm came over me. I looked at Stevie Rae, and suddenly knew what I needed to say. I put my hands on my hips and faced her.
"Tell him," I said. "Tell all of them.”
"Tell them what?" She narrowed her garnet eyes dangerously.
"Tell them what's happening here. You know. I know you do.”
Stevie Rae's face contorted, and the words sounded like they were being wrenched from her throat. "Humanity! They're show¬ing their humanity." The creatures snarled like she'd just thrown holy water on them (and please, that's such an untrue cliché about vampyres).
"Weakness! It's why we're stronger than they are." Venus curled her lip. "Because it's a weakness we don't have anymore.”
I ignored Venus. I ignored Elliott. Hell, I ignored them all and stared at Stevie Rae, forcing her to meet my eyes, and forcing my¬self not to look away or flinch as hers glowed hot and red.
"Bullshit,” I said.
"She's right," Stevie Rae said. Her voice was cold and mean. "When we died, so did our humanity.”
"That might be true with them, but I don't believe it's true with you," I said.
"You don't know anything about this, Zoey," Stevie Rae said.
"I don't have to. I know you, and I know our Goddess, and that's all I need to know.”
"She's not my Goddess anymore.”
"Really, just like your mamma's not your mamma anymore?" I knew I'd hit a nerve when I saw her jerk as if she were in physical pain.
"I don't have a mamma. I'm not a human anymore.”
"Big f-ing deal. Technically, I'm not a human anymore, either. I'm somewhere in the middle of the Change, which makes me a little of this and a lot of that. Hell, the only one here who's still human is Heath.”
"Not that I hold your un-human-ness against you guys," Heath said.
I sighed. "Heath, un-human-ness isn't a word. It's inhumanity."
"Zo, I'm not stupid. I know that. I was just coining a word."
"Coining?" Had he really said that?
He nodded. "I learned about it in Dickson's English class. It has to do with …" He paused, and I swear the creatures were even listening expectantly. "Poetry.”
Despite our awful situation I laughed. "Heath, you really have been studying!”
"Told you so." He grinned, looking completely adorable.
"Enough!" Stevie Rae's voice echoed off the round walls of the tunnel. "I'm done with this." She turned her back to Heath and me, ignoring us completely. "They've seen us. They know too much. They have to die. Kill them.” And she walked away.
This time Heath didn't mess with trying to pull me behind him. Instead he whirled around and, completely catching me off guard, tackled me so that I landed on my butt on the disgusting mattress with an oofh. Then he turned to the closing circle of snarling undead creatures with his legs planted a hip's width apart and his hands balled into fists and he gave his Broken Ar¬row Tiger football growl.
"Bring it, freaks!”
Okay, it wasn't that I didn't appreciate Heath's machoness. But the boy was in over his cute blond head. I stood up and centered myself.
"Fire, I need you again!" This time I yelled the words with the command of a High Priestess. Flames burst into life from the palms of my hands all up and down my arms. I would have liked to have taken time to study the fire I'd called into being—it was cool that it could burn on me, and not actually burn me, but there was no time for that. "Move, Heath.”
He looked over his shoulder at me, and his eyes got huge and round. "Zo?”
"I'm fine. Just move!”
He jumped out of my way as, burning, I walked forward. The creatures cringed back from me, even as their hands tried to reach around me to get to Heath.
"Stop it!" I yelled. "Back off and leave him alone. Heath and I are going to walk out of here. Now. If you try to stop us, I'm going to kill you, and I have a feeling that this time you're going to die for good." Okay, I really, really didn't want to kill anyone. What I wanted to do was to get Heath out of there, and then find Stevie Rae and have her explain to me how fledglings who were sup¬posed to have died could be walking around with bad attitudes, glowing eyes, and smelling like mold and dust.
From the edge of my vision I saw a movement. I turned in time to see one of the creatures launch herself at Heath. I lifted my arms and flung the fire at her as if I were throwing a ball. As she screamed and went up in flames I recognized her and had to fight hard not to be sick. It was Elizabeth No Last Name—the nice girl who had died last month. Now her burning body writhed on the floor, reeking of spoiled meat and decay, which was all that was left of her lifeless shell.
"Wind and rain! I call you," I cried, and as the air around me began to swirl and fill with the scent of spring rain, I got a flash of Damien and Erin sitting cross-legged beside Shaunee. Their eyes were closed in concentration and they were holding votives the color of their elements. I pointed my fiery finger at Elizabeth's smoldering body and it was washed in a sudden flush of rain, then a cool breeze took the green-tinged smoke, lifting it above our heads, and carried its stench down the tunnel and out into the night.
I faced the creatures again. "That's what I'll do to any of you who try to stop us." I motioned for Heath to walk in front of me, and I followed him, backing away from the creatures.
They followed us. I couldn't always see them as we rewound our way through the dark tunnel, but I could hear their shuffling feet and muffled snarls. It was about then that I began to feel the exhaustion. It was like I was a cell phone that hadn't been charged in a while, and someone was talking on me too long. I let the fire that outlined by arms go out except for a flickering flame that I cupped in my right hand. No way Heath could see to walk out of here without that, and I was still backing behind him, keeping an eye out for attacking creatures. After I passed two offshoot tunnel branches I called for Heath to stop.
"We should hurry, Zo. I know you have this power thing going on, but there are a lot of them—more than what were back there. I don't know how many you can handle." He touched my face. "Not to be mean or anything, but you look like shit.”
I felt like poo, too, but I didn't want to mention it. "I have an idea." We'd just come around a curve where the tunnel had nar¬rowed until I could touch either side of it by spreading out my arms. I walked back to the narrowest part of the curve. Heath started to follow me, but I told him, "Stand over there," and pointed farther down the tunnel the way we were heading. He frowned, but did as I told him.
I turned my back to Heath and concentrated. Lifting my arms, I thought of newly plowed fields and pretty Oklahoma meadows filled with uncut winter hay. I thought about the earth and how I was standing within it ... surrounded by it .. .
"Earth! I call to you!" As I lifted my arms a vision of Stevie Rae flashed across my closed eyelids. She wasn't as she used to be—sweet-faced and concentrating hard over a glowing green candle. She was curled up in the corner of a dark tunnel. Her face was gaunt and white and her eyes glowed scarlet. But her face wasn't an emotionless parody of herself or a cruel mask. She was weep¬ing openly, her expression filled with despair. It's a start, I thought. Then, with a swift, powerful motion I lowered my arms while I commanded, "Close!" In front and above me, pieces of dirt and rock began to fall from the ceiling. At first it was just a trickle of pebbles, but soon there was a mini-avalanche going on that quickly drowned out the pissed-off growls and hisses of the trapped creatures.
A wave of weakness crashed over me and I staggered back.
"I got ya, Zo." Heath's strong arms were around me and I let myself rest against him for a moment. Several of his cuts had bro¬ken loose during our escape, and the ripe scent of his blood tick¬led against my senses.
"They're not really trapped, you know," I said softly, trying to keep my mind off how much I wanted to lick the line of blood that was trickling down his cheek. "We passed a couple other tun¬nels. I'm sure they'll be able to find their way out eventually.”
"It's okay, Zo." Heath kept his arms wrapped around me, but he pulled back enough so that he could look into my eyes. "I know what you need. I can feel it. If you feed from me you won't be so weak." He smiled, and his blue eyes darkened. "It's okay," he repeated. "I want you to.”
"Heath, you've been through way too much. Who knows how much blood you've already lost? My drinking more of it isn't a good idea." I was saying no, but my voice trembled with desire.
"Are you kidding? A big, studly football jock like me? I got plenty of blood to spare," Heath teased. Then his expression turned serious. "For you, I have anything to spare." While he looked into my eyes, he wiped one of his fingers down the damp red slash on his cheek and the rubbed the blood on his bottom lip. Then he bent and kissed me.
I tasted the dark sweetness of his blood and it dissolved in my mouth to send a surge of fiery pleasure and energy through my body. Heath pulled his lips from mine and guided me to the cut on his cheek. When my tongue snaked out and touched it, he moaned and pressed my hips closer to his. I closed my eyes and began to lick—
"Kill me!" Stevie Rae's broken voice shattered the spell of Heath's blood.


CHAPTER THIRTY


My face flamed with embarrassment as I pushed myself out of Heath's arms, wiping my mouth and breathing hard. Stevie Rae was standing down the tunnel just a few yards from us. Tears still rained down her cheeks and her face was twisted in despair.
"Kill me," she repeated on a sob.
"No." I shook my head and took a step toward her, but she backed away from me, putting up her hand as if she wanted to hold me off. I stopped and gulped some deep breaths, trying to get myself under control. "Come back to the House of Night with me. We'll figure out how this happened. It'll be okay, Stevie Rae, I promise. All that matters is that you're alive.”
Stevie Rae had started shaking her head as I'd begun talking. "I'm not really alive, and I can't go back there.”
"Of course you're alive. You're walking and talking.”
"I'm not me anymore. I did die, and part of me—the best part of me—is still dead, just like it is for the rest of them." She ges¬tured back at the cave-in.
"You're not like they are," I said firmly.
"I'm more like them than I am like you.” Her gaze shifted from me to Heath, who was standing quietly beside me. "You wouldn't believe the awful things that go through my mind. I could kill him without a second thought. I would have already if his blood hadn't been changed by the Imprint with you.”
"Maybe it wasn't just that, Stevie Rae. Maybe you didn't kill him because you really didn't want to," I said.
Her eyes found mine again. "No. I wanted to kill him. I still do.”
"The rest of them killed Brad and Chris," Heath said. "And that was my fault.”
"Heath, now's not the time—" I started, but he cut me off.
"No, you need to hear this, Zoey. Those things grabbed Brad and Chris because they were hanging around the House of Night, and that's my fault because I'd told them how hot you are." He gave me an apologetic look. "Sorry, Zo." Then his expression hardened and he said, "You should kill her. You should kill them all. As long as they're alive people will be in danger.”
"He's right," Stevie Rae said.
"And how will killing you and the rest of them solve this? Won't more of you happen?" I made my mind up and closed the space between Stevie Rae and me. She looked like she wanted to take off, but my words stopped her. "How did this happen? What made you like this?”
Her face contorted with anguish. "I don't know how. I only know who.”
"Then who did this?”
She opened her mouth to answer me and then, with a move¬ment so fast her body blurred, she was suddenly cowering against the side of the tunnel.
"She's coming!”
"What? Who?" I crouched beside her.
"Get out of here! Fast. There's probably still time for you to get away." Then Stevie Rae reached out and took my hand in hers. Her flesh was cold, but her grip was strong. "She'll kill you if she sees you—you and him. You know too much. She may kill you anyway, but it'll be harder for her to do if you get back to the House of Night.”
"Who are you talking about, Stevie Rae?”
"Neferet.”
The name blasted through me and even as I shook my head in denial I felt the truth of it deep within me. "Neferet did this to you, to all of you?”
"Yes. Now get out of here, Zoey!”
I could feel her terror and I knew she was right. If Heath and I didn't leave, we would die.
"I'm not giving up on you, Stevie Rae. Use your element. You still have a connection with the earth, I can feel it. So use your el¬ement to stay strong. I'll come back for you, and somehow we'll figure this out—we'll make this okay. I promise." Then I hugged her hard, and after only a little hesitation, she hugged me back.
"Let's go, Heath." I grabbed his hand so I could guide him quickly down the darkness of the tunnel. The light in my palm had gone out when I'd called earth to me, and no way was I going to take a chance on relighting it. It might guide her to us. As we ran down the tunnel I heard Stevie Rae's whispered "Please don't forget me ..." follow us.
Heath and I ran. The surge of energy his blood had given me didn't last long, and by the time we came to the metal ladder that led up to the grate in the basement, I wanted to collapse and sleep for days. Heath was all for rushing up the ladder and into the basement, but I made him wait. Breathing heavily, I leaned against the side of the tunnel and fished my cell phone out of my pants pocket, along with Detective Marx's card. I flipped open the phone and I swear my heart didn't beat until the bars started to light up green.
"Can ya hear me now?" Heath said, grinning at me.
"Sssh!" I told him, but smiled back. Then I punched in the de¬tective's number.
"This is Marx," the deep voice answered on the second ring.
"Detective Marx, this is Zoey Redbird. I only have a second to talk, then I have to go. I've found Heath Luck. We're in the base¬ment of the Tulsa Depot, and we need help.”
"Hang tight. I'll be right there!”
A noise from above made me cut off the connection and switch the phone off. I pressed my finger to my lips when Heath started to speak. Heath put his arm around me, and we tried not to breathe. Then I heard the coo-coo of a pigeon and the flutter¬ing of wings.
"I think it's just a bird," Heath whispered. "I'm going to go look.”
I was too tired to argue with him, plus Marx was on his way and I was sick of the damp, nasty tunnel. "Be careful," I whis¬pered back.
Heath nodded and squeezed my shoulder, then climbed up the ladder. Slowly and carefully he lifted the metal grate, sticking his head up and peering around. Pretty soon he reached down and motioned for me to climb up and take his hand. "It's just a pi¬geon. Come on.”
Wearily, I climbed to him and let him pull me up into the basement. We sat in the corner by the grate for several long min¬utes, listening intently. Finally, I whispered, "Let's go outside and wait for Marx there." Heath had already started to shiver, but I re¬membered the blanket Aphrodite had made me bring. Plus, I'd rather take my chances with the weather than stay in the creepy basement.
"I hate it in here, too. It's like a damn tomb," Heath said softly between chattering teeth.
Hand in hand, we walked across the basement, passing through the slatted grayish light that reflected down from the world above. We were at the iron door when I heard the distant wail of a police siren. The terrible tension in my body had just begun to relax when Neferet's voice came from the shadows.
"I should have known you would be here.”
Heath's body jerked in surprise and my hand tightened in warning on his. As I turned to face her, I was centering myself and could feel the power of the elements beginning to shimmer in the air around me. I drew a deep breath and carefully blanked my mind.
"Oh, Neferet! I'm so glad to see you!" I squeezed Heath's hand one more time before I let go of him, trying to telegraph play along with whatever I say through touch. Then I ran, sobbing, into the High Priestess's arms. "How did you find me? Did Detec¬tive Marx call you?”
I could see indecision in her eyes as Neferet smoothly disen¬tangled herself from my arms. "Detective Marx?”
"Yeah." I sniffed and wiped my nose on my sleeve, forcing my¬self to beam relief and trust to her. "That's him coming right now." The sound of the siren was very close, and I could hear that it had been joined by at least two other cars. "Thank you for find¬ing me!" I gushed. "It was so terrible. I thought that crazy street person was going to kill both of us.” I moved back to Heath's side and took his hand again. He was staring at Neferet, looking a lot like he was in shock. I realized that he was probably remembering pieces of the only other time he'd seen the High Priestess—the night the vampyre ghosts had almost killed him—and imagined his mind was too freaked out for Neferet to make much sense of what was going on inside his head. Good thing, too.
Then car doors were slamming and heavy feet were crunching through the snow.
"Zoey, Heath ..." Neferet moved swiftly to us. She lifted her hands, which glowed with a weird, reddish light, suddenly re¬minding me of the undead things' eyes. Before I could run or scream or even take a breath, she grabbed our shoulders. I felt Heath go rigid as pain shot through my body. It blasted against my mind and my knees would have buckled had her hand not been like a vise, holding me up. "You will remember nothing!" The words echoed through my agony-filled mind, and then there was only darkness.


CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE


I was in a beautiful meadow that was in the middle of what looked like a dense forest. A warm, soft breeze was blowing the scent of lilacs to me. A stream ran through the meadow, its crys¬tal water bubbled musically over smooth stones.
"Zoey? Can you hear me, Zoey?" An insistent male voice in¬truded on my dream.
I frowned and tried to ignore him. I didn't want to wake up, but my spirit stirred. I needed to wake up. I needed to remember. She needed me to remember.
But who was she?
"Zoey ..." This time the voice was inside my dream and I could see my name painted against the blue of the spring sky. The voice was a woman's ... familiar … magical … wondrous. "Zoey ...”
I looked around the clearing and found the Goddess sitting on the other side of the stream, gracefully perched on a smooth Ok¬lahoma sandstone rock with her bare feet playing in the water.
"Nyx!" I cried. "Am I dead?" My words shimmered around me.
The Goddess smiled. "Will you ask that of me each time I visit you, Zoey Redbird?”
"No, I'm, uh, sorry." My words were tinged pink, probably blushing like my cheeks.
"Don't be sorry, my daughter. You have done very well. I am pleased with you. Now, it is time you awakened. And also I wish to remind you that the elements can restore as well as destroy.”
I started to thank her, even though I didn't have a clue what she was talking about, but the shaking of my shoulder and a sud¬den blast of cold air interrupted me. I opened my eyes.
Snow swirled all around me. Detective Marx was bending over me, shaking my shoulder. Through the weird fog in my mind I found one word. "Heath?" I croaked.
Marx jerked his chin to his right and I tilted my head to see Heath's still body being loaded into an ambulance.
"Is he …" I couldn't finish.
"He's fine, just banged up. He's lost a lot of blood and they've already given him something for the pain.”
"Banged up?" I was struggling to make sense of everything. "What happened to Heath?”
"Multiple lacerations, just like those other two kids. Good thing you found him and called me before he bled to death." He squeezed my shoulder. A paramedic tried to move Marx from my side, but he said, "I'll handle her. She just needs to get back to the House of Night and she'll be fine.”
I saw the paramedic give me a look that clearly said freak, but Detective Marx's strong hands were helping me sit up and his tall body blocked my view of the muttering EMT.
"Can you walk to my car?" Marx asked.
I nodded. My body was feeling better, but my mind was still all mushy. Marx's "car" was really a huge, all-weather truck with giant wheels and a roll bar. He helped me up into the front seat, which was warm and comfortable, but before he closed the door I sud¬denly remembered something else, even though the effort made my head feel like it was going to split open. "Persephone! Is she okay?”
Marx looked confused for just a second, then he smiled. "The mare?”
I nodded.
"She's just fine. An officer is walking her to the police stables downtown until the roads are clear enough to get a trailer back to the House of Night." His grin widened. "Guess you're braver than the Tulsa police force. None of them volunteered to ride her back.”
I rested my head against the seat as he threw the truck into four-wheel drive and navigated slowly through the drifts of snow away from the depot. There must have been ten cop cars, along with a fire truck and two ambulances parked with lights flashing red and blue and white against the empty, snow-curtained night.
"What happened here tonight, Zoey?”
I thought back, and had to squint my eyes against the sudden pain in my head. "I don't remember," I managed to say through the pounding in my temples. I could feel his sharp gaze on me. I met the detective's eyes and remembered him telling me about his twin sister, the vamp who still loved him. He'd said I could trust him, and I believed him. "Something's wrong," I admitted. "My memory is messed up.”
"Okay," he said slowly. "Start with the last thing you can easily remember.”
"I was grooming Persephone and all of a sudden I knew where Heath was, and that he was going to die if I didn't go get him.”
"You two have Imprinted?" My surprise must have been easy to read, because he smiled and continued. "My sister and I talk, and I've been curious about vamp stuff, especially right after she first Changed." He shrugged as if it was no big deal for a human to know all sorts of vampyre info. "We're twins, so we're used to sharing everything. A change of species just didn't make that much difference to us." He glanced sideways at me again. "You have Imprinted, haven't you?”
"Yeah, Heath and I have Imprinted. That's how I knew where he was." I left out the stuff about Aphrodite. No way did I feel up to explaining the whole her-visions-are-real-but-Neferet-has-been...
"Ah!" This time I gasped aloud at the agony inside my head.
"Deep, calming breaths," Marx said, shooting me worried looks whenever he could take his eyes from the treacherous road. "I said whatever was easy for you to remember.”
"No, it's okay. I'm okay. I want to do this.”
He still looked worried, but continued with his questioning. "All right, you knew Heath was in trouble, and you knew where he was. So, why didn't you just call me and tell me to go to the depot?”
I tried to remember and pain shot through my head, but along with the pain came anger. Something had happened to my mind. Someone had messed with my mind. And that really pissed me off. I rubbed my temples and gritted my teeth against the pain.
"Maybe we should stop for a while.”
"No! Just let me think," I gasped. I could remember the stables and Aphrodite. I could remember that Heath needed me, and the wild, snowy ride on Persephone to the depot basement. But when I tried to remember past the basement the agony that speared through my head became too much for me.
"Zoey!" Detective Marx's concern penetrated through my pain.
"Something has messed with my mind." I wiped tears I hadn't realized I'd shed from my face.
"Pieces of your memory are gone.”
It didn't sound like a question, but I nodded anyway.
He was silent for a while. It seemed he was concentrating on the deserted, snow-covered road, but I thought I knew better, and his next words told me I was right.
"My sister"—he smiled and glanced at me—"her name is Anne, warned me once that if I ever pissed off a High Priestess I would be in serious trouble because they had ways of erasing things, and what she meant by things was people and memories." He glanced from the road to me again, and this time his smile was gone. "So, I guess the question is: what have you done to piss off a High Priestess?”
"I don't know. I ..." My voice trailed off as I thought about what he'd said. I didn't try to remember what had happened that night. Instead, I let my memory drift lazily backward ... to Aphrodite and the fact that Nyx was still blessing her with vi¬sions, even though Neferet had spread the word that her visions were false ... to the small, almost imperceptible sense of wrong-ness that had grown like a fungus around Neferet, until it culmi¬nated Sunday night in her undermining the decisions I'd made for the Dark Daughters … to the nasty scene I'd witnessed be¬tween Neferet and … and ... I braced myself against the heat that was starting to throb through my head and, along with a flash of piercing pain, remembered the creature Elliott had be¬come feeding from the High Priestess's blood.
"Stop the truck!" I yelled.
"We're almost at the school, Zoey.”
"Now! I'm going to be sick.”
We slid to the side of the empty road. I opened the door and dropped to the snowy street, staggered to the ditch, and puked up my guts into a snowbank. Detective Marx was beside me, pulling back my hair and sounding very dadlike as he told me to breathe and everything would be okay. I gulped air and finally stopped heaving. He handed me a handkerchief, one of those old-fashioned linen ones that was folded neatly into a clean square.
"Thanks." I tried to hand it back to him after wiping my face and blowing my nose, but he smiled and said, "Keep it.”
I stood there, just gulping air and letting the throbbing in my head go away as I stared across a field of untouched snow to some distant oaks that grew along a massive stone and brick wall. And with a start of surprise, I realized where we were.
"It's the east wall of the school," I said.
"Yeah, I thought I'd take you the back way—give you more time to collect yourself, and maybe restore some of that mem¬ory.”
Restore ... What was it about that word? Tentatively, I thought hard, trying to remember while I braced myself against the pain I was sure would come. But it didn't, and into my memory came the vision of a beautiful meadow, and the wise words of my God¬dess … the elements can restore as well as destroy.
And then I understood what I had to do.
"Detective Marx, I need a minute here, okay?”
"Alone?" he asked.
I nodded.
"I'll be in the truck, watching you. If you need me, call.”
I smiled my thanks, but before he'd turned to go back to the truck I was walking toward the oaks. I didn't need to be under them—to actually be in the school grounds, but being near them helped me center myself. When I was close enough to see how their branches entwined like old friends, I stopped and closed my eyes.
"Wind, I call you to me and this time I ask that you blow clean any dark taint that has touched my mind." I felt a gust of cold, like I was being battered by my own personal hurricane, but it wasn't pressing against my body. It was filling my mind. I kept my eyes tightly closed and blocked out the throbbing ache that had re¬turned to my temples. "Fire, I call you to me and ask that you burn from my mind any darkness that has touched it." Heat filled my head, only it wasn't like the hot spear that I'd felt earlier. Instead it was a nice warmth, like a heating pad on a pulled muscle. "Water, I call you to me and ask that you wash from my mind the dark¬ness that has touched it." Coolness flooded through the warmth, soothing what had been overheated and bringing incredible relief. "Earth, I call you to me and ask that your nurturing strength take from my mind the darkness that has touched it." From the bot¬toms of my feet, where I was connected firmly to the earth, it was as if a faucet had opened and I imagined putrid darkness running down and out of my body to be consumed by the strength and goodness of the earth. "And, spirit, I ask that you heal what dark¬ness has destroyed in my mind, and restore my memory!" Some¬thing snapped within me and a white-hot familiar sensation shot down my back, dropping me heavily to my knees.
"Zoey! Zoey! My God, are you okay?”
Once again Detective Marx's strong hands were shaking my shoulders and he was helping me to my feet. This time my eyes opened easily and I smiled into his kind face.
"I'm more than okay. I remember everything.”


CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO


"You're sure this is how it has to be?" Detective Marx asked for what seemed like the zillionth time.
"Yep." I nodded wearily. "It has to be like this." I was so damn tired I thought I could fall asleep right there in the cop's ginormic monster truck. But I knew I couldn't. The night wasn't over yet. My job wasn't over yet.
The detective sighed, and I smiled at him.
"You're just gonna have to trust me," I said, sounding a lot like he had earlier that day.
"I don't like it," he said.
"I know, and I'm sorry. But I've told you everything I can.”
"That some homeless kook is responsible for Heath and the other two boys?" He shook his head. "Feels wrong to me.”
"Are you sure you're not a little bit psychic?" I smiled tiredly at him.
"If I was, I'd be able to figure out what feels wrong." He shook his head again. "Explain this—what happened to your memory?”
I'd already thought about my answer for this one. "It was the trauma of tonight. It made me block what happened. And then my affinity for the five elements helped me to overcome the block and remember.”
"That's why you had all that pain?”
I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess so. It's gone now anyway.”
"Look, Zoey, I'm pretty sure that there's more going on here than what you're telling me. I want you to know that you really can trust me," he said.
"I know that." I believed him, but I also knew that there were some secrets I couldn't share. Not with this really nice detective. Not with anyone.
"You don't have to deal with whatever it is on your own. I can help you. You're just a kid—just a teenager." He sounded totally exasperated.
I met his eyes steadily. "No, I'm a fledgling who is leader of the Dark Daughters and a High Priestess in training. Believe me, that's a lot more than just a teenager. I've given you my oath, and you know from your sister that my oath binds me. I promise I've told you everything I can, and if any more kids disappear, I be¬lieve I can find them for you." What I didn't say was that I wasn't one hundred percent sure how I was going to do that, but the promise felt right, and so I knew Nyx would help me keep it. Not that that would be easy. But I couldn't betray Stevie Rae's pres¬ence, which meant no one could know about the creatures, or at least not until Stevie Rae was safe.
Marx sighed again, and I could see that he was muttering to himself as he stomped around to help me down from his truck. But just before he opened the door to the main school building Marx (annoyingly) ruffled my hair and said, "All right, we'll do this your way. Of course, it's not like I have a choice.”
He was right. He didn't have any choice.
I walked into the building before him and was instantly en¬gulfed in the warmth of its familiar scents of incense and oil, and the soothing gaslights that flickered like eager, welcoming friends.
Speaking of .. .
"Zoey!" I heard the Twins squeal together, and then I was being smushed in the middle of them as they hugged me and cried and yelled at me for worrying them and talked nonstop about being able to feel it when I tapped into their elements. Damien was not far behind them. Then I was in Erik's strong arms as he hugged me and whispered how scared he'd been for me and how glad he was I was okay. I allowed myself to rest in his arms and return his hug. Later, I'd figure out what to do about Heath and him. Right now I was too tired, and anyway, I needed to save my strength to deal with
"Zoey, you gave us quite a scare.”
I stepped out of Erik's arms and turned to face Neferet.
"I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to upset everyone," I said, and it was the truth. I hadn't wanted to worry or upset or scare anyone.
"Well, I suppose there's no harm done, darling. We're all just so glad you're safely home." She smiled at me with that wonderful mom smile of hers that seemed so full of love and light and goodness, and even though I knew what that smile hid, I felt my heart squeeze and wished desperately that I was wrong, that Nef¬eret was as wonderful as I used to believe.
Darkness does not always equate to evil, just as light does not always bring good. The Goddess's words echoed through my mind, giving me strength.
"Well, Zoey is definitely our hero," Detective Marx said. "If she hadn't been tuned into that boy, she could have never called us to that depot in time to save him.”
"Yes, well, that's a little problem she and I will have to discuss later." She gave me a stern look, but her tone told everyone there that I wasn't really in much trouble.
If only they knew.
"Detective, did you catch the person who has been taking the boys?" Neferet continued.
"No, he escaped before we arrived, but there's plenty of evidence that someone has been living in the depot, actually it looked like he was using it as some kind of headquarters. I think it'll be easy to find proof that the other two boys were killed there by someone who was trying to make it look like vampyres had taken the teenagers. And now, even though Heath doesn't re-member much of anything because of the trauma, Zoey has given us a good description of the man to go by. It's just a matter of time before we catch him.”
Was I the only one who saw surprise flash through Neferet's eyes?
"That's wonderful!" Neferet said.
"Yeah." I met the High Priestess's eyes. "I've told Detective Marx a lot. My memory's really good.”
"I'm proud of you, Zoeybird!" Neferet came to me and put her arms around me, hugging me close. So close that only I heard her whisper into my ear, "If you speak against me I will make sure no human or fledgling or vampyre will believe you.”
I didn't pull away from her. I didn't react in any way. But when she let me go, I made my final move—the one I'd planned since the white-hot familiar sensation had seared the skin on my back.
"Neferet, would you please look at my back?”
My friends had been chattering among themselves, clearly giddy with the relief they'd felt since I'd called them while Detec¬tive Marx and I talked outside the school and asked them to meet me inside the main building, and to make sure Neferet was there, too. Now my weird request, which I'd been sure to ask loud and clear, shut them up. Actually, everyone in the room, including Detective Marx, was looking at me like they wondered if I'd per¬haps hit my head sometime during my adventures and some of my brains had leaked out.
"It's important," I said, and grinned at Neferet as if I were hiding a present just for her under the back of my shirt.
"Zoey, I'm not sure what—" Neferet began, her tone carefully pitched between worry and embarrassment.
I gave an exaggerated sigh. "Jeesh, just look." And before any¬one could stop me, I turned so that my back was facing them, and lifted the bottom of my sweatshirt (being careful to keep the front of me covered).
I hadn't really been worried that I might be wrong, but the gasps and exclamations of awe and happy surprise from my friends were a relief to hear.
"Z! Your Mark has spread." Erik laughed and tentatively touched the newly tattooed skin of my back.
"Wow, it's awesome," Shaunee breathed.
"Totally cool," Erin said.
"Spectacular," Damien said. "It's the same labyrinth pattern as your other Marks.”
"Yeah, with the rune symbols spaced between the spirals," Erik said.
I think I was the only one who noticed that Neferet said noth¬ing at all.
I smoothed the bottom of my shirt back down. I was seriously looking forward to getting to a mirror so that I could see what I'd only been able to feel.
"Congratulations, Zoey. I imagine this means that you con¬tinue to be special to your Goddess," Detective Marx said.
I smiled at him. "Thanks. Thanks for everything tonight.”
Our eyes met and he winked. Then he turned to Neferet. "I'd better be going, ma'am. There's a lot of work left to be done to¬night. Plus, I imagine Zoey is eager to get to bed. Good night, everyone." He touched his hat, smiled at me again, and left.
"I am really tired." I looked at Neferet. "If it's okay, I'd like to go to bed.”
"Yes, darling," she said smoothly. "That would be just fine.”
"And also I'd like to stop by Nyx's Temple on the way to the dorm, if that's okay with you," I said.
"You do have quite a bit for which you should thank Nyx. Stopping by her temple is a good idea.”
"We'll go with you, Z," Shaunee said.
"Yeah, Nyx was with all of us tonight," Erin said.
Damien and Erik made sounds of agreement, but I didn't look at any of my friends. I kept eye contact with Neferet and said, "I will thank Nyx, but there's really another reason I'm going to her temple.” I didn't wait for her to question me, but continued earnestly, "I'm going to light an earth candle for Stevie Rae. I promised her I wouldn't forget her.”
My friends were murmuring soft words of agreement, but I kept my attention focused on Neferet as I slowly and deliberately walked over to her.
"Good night, Neferet," I said and this time I hugged her, and as I pulled her close to me I whispered, "Humans and fledglings and vampyres don't need to believe me about you because Nyx does. This is not over between us.”
I stepped out of Neferet's arms and turned my back on her. To¬gether, my friends and I went outside and crossed the short dis¬tance to Nyx's Temple. It had finally stopped snowing, and the moon was peeking between wisps of clouds that looked like silken scarves. I stopped at the beautiful marble statue of the Goddess that stood before her temple.
"Here," I said firmly.
"Z?" Erik said questioningly.
"I want to put Stevie Rae's candle out here, at Nyx's feet.”
"I'll get it for you," Erik said. He squeezed my hand and then hurried into Nyx's Temple.
"You're right," Shaunee said.
"Yeah, Stevie Rae would like it lit out here," Erin said.
"It's closer to the earth," Damien said.
"And so it's closer to Stevie Rae," I said softly.
Erik returned and handed me the green votive and a long, rit¬ualistic lighter. Following my instincts, I lit the candle and placed it snugly at Nyx's feet.
"I'm remembering you, Stevie Rae. Just like I promised," I said.
"So am I," said Damien.
"Me, too," said Shaunee.
"Ditto," said Erin.
"I'm remembering, too," said Erik.
The scent of a grassy meadow suddenly swirled around Nyx's statue, making my friends smile through their tears. Before we walked away I closed my eyes and whispered a prayer that was a promise I felt deep in my soul.
I'll go back for you, Stevie Rae.